Conquer Club

(Mods, if possible, I would like this stay in the General Discussion board)

Hello all-

Some of you may have had the pleasure of playing a game with me, some have not... I don't mean to sound arrogant, but the fact is, I bring sunshine with me every I go (unless of course there is a solar eclipse, I'm no Hermione Granger, I can only do so much).

I, Beckytheblondie, will be starting a new CLAN! I have gotten so many offers to join clans, I can't even count them on my fingers anymore (albeit I lost my fingers in a freak waterslide accident, I have hooks, it has taken me 4 hours and 32 minutes to type this, actually, including the typing that it took to type how long it took me, its now up to 6 hours and 21 minutes).

I invite all those interested in joining my new clan to petition here. The name has not been determined yet, but the top contenders so far are the : "Mediocre players from Modesto," "Did someone say salmon?!!," "No, they said Salami," and "Our slacks are better fitting than yours"

There is one rule, and one rule alone: You must be less than 7 feet 2 inches to join. No exceptions. I'm sorry if this seems discriminatory, but due to a combination of religious beliefs and a clerical error when I ordered team uniforms, we will not be able to have any individuals over 7'2 join.

For those of you who are interested in joining, I ask that you answer only the first 3 questions, in 1 sentence, or 21 sentences only (thus, no 2 sentence, 3 sentence, etc. answers).

1) Which do you think is better, a Leopard or a 3 legged giraffe, and why?
2) How do you feel about the letter "h," and how much would you be willing to pay to be able to wear a denim jacket to work everyday?
3) Where do you see yourself 5 years from this very instant (to the second), and will it involve watching Jurassic Park in the nude?
4) Are you good at following instructions?

Thank you all for you time. I look forward to speaking with you... if you have any questions, feel free to ask them. One thing however, whatever you do, DO NOT ASK ME any questions related to Finland, I don't want to go into details.

BTB.

i would be interested in joining your clan, if you would publicly admit that you were wrong about the karate kid being the best movie ever made.

azezzo wrote:i would be interested in joining your clan, if you would publicly admit that you were wrong about the karate kid being the best movie ever made.

I will do no such thing! Sweep the leg!

why dont you come over to my dojo and see who sweeps whos leg, tough guy

I was expecting a better response

1) In my humblest of opinions, I prefer a 3 legged giraffe to a leopard. A leopard ate my cousin Tommy. A Three legged giraffe did not eat my cousin Tommy. If I ever got a bucket of sand stuck in a tree, both animals could retrieve it for me, but a three legged giraffe would retrieve it with more grace and less attitude. If I had a giant leaf stuck in a tree, you know, one that I was planning to put in wax paper and give my mom for mother's day, the three legged giraffe would probably eat it. That would be a shame, but I won't hold it against him/her. Sorry Señor Leopard.


2) Seriously? I don't believe I could write an entire sentence lacking a letter as important as said letter. It is an important letter and I almost love it. Secondly, I would be willing to pay upwards of twenty-seven dollars to be able to wear a denim jacket to work every day. Denim jackets remind me of lesbians and Jay Leno. Twenty-eight dollars would be spent if said denim jacket was frayed. Did you notice I didn't use said letter in my entire response? HOLLA! shit

3) Five years from this very instant I see myself watching Jurassic park in the buff. I see myself on April 23, 2014 at 10:40pm cst flipping through the channels and pausing momentarily on what I thought was a sexy catholic school girl. I will leave the channel on even after realizing that it was a velociraptor and I will probably get up to go make some popcorn and have a Coors light. This concludes my application. I constructed my response in exactly 21 sentences.

Wolffy~

Beckytheblondie wrote:There is one rule, and one rule alone: You must be less than 7 feet 2 inches to join. No exceptions.

damn it...

Wolffystyle wrote:1) In my humblest of opinions, I prefer a 3 legged giraffe to a leopard. A leopard ate my cousin Tommy. A Three legged giraffe did not eat my cousin Tommy. If I ever got a bucket of sand stuck in a tree, both animals could retrieve it for me, but a three legged giraffe would retrieve it with more grace and less attitude. If I had a giant leaf stuck in a tree, you know, one that I was planning to put in wax paper and give my mom for mother's day, the three legged giraffe would probably eat it. That would be a shame, but I won't hold it against him/her. Sorry Señor Leopard.


2) Seriously? I don't believe I could write an entire sentence lacking a letter as important as said letter. It is an important letter and I almost love it. Secondly, I would be willing to pay upwards of twenty-seven dollars to be able to wear a denim jacket to work every day. Denim jackets remind me of lesbians and Jay Leno. Twenty-eight dollars would be spent if said denim jacket was frayed. Did you notice I didn't use said letter in my entire response? HOLLA! shit

3) Five years from this very instant I see myself watching Jurassic park in the buff. I see myself on April 23, 2014 at 10:40pm cst flipping through the channels and pausing momentarily on what I thought was a sexy catholic school girl. I will leave the channel on even after realizing that it was a velociraptor and I will probably get up to go make some popcorn and have a Coors light. This concludes my application. I constructed my response in exactly 21 sentences.

Wolffy~

Wolffy, I can't make any guarantees, but let me just say, you're application is looking EXTREMELY good. The only thing that would have been better would have been if it you promised to the be the clan's official grilled cheese chef.

I imagine a lot of people are hesitant to apply, you're (wolffy's) application may have inadvertently made it worse. Now that they see the caliber of player/ responses we're getting, they are probably intimidated. But please people, realize Wolffy is an anomaly (we think he may be descended from the Greek God Kevin himself! (he was a minor God)).

1) I prefer ponies. Pretty ponies.
2) I ate it. I would not pay to wear a denim jacket to work, but would be willing to accept a sponsorship to wear one.
3) Crying over my lost youth and opportunities.
4) I'm going to go make chocolate chip pancakes for lunch.

squishyg wrote:1) I prefer ponies. Pretty ponies.
2) I ate it. I would not pay to wear a denim jacket to work, but would be willing to accept a sponsorship to wear one.
3) Crying over my lost youth and opportunities.
4) I'm going to go make chocolate chip pancakes for lunch.

You're application is under review, but I too like ponies a lot, so you got a good shot!

The letter h is not as good as the number 12. Also, 5 years from now, (well 5 years from when i hit the letter "A" to start this sentence anyway), I will come back in time and post the thread that you are reading now.

To Whom It May Concern:

I am very much interested in joining your clan, but there is one problem. I am exactly 86” tall. Yes, I did play basketball. Is that all you Lilliputians think about?
To be considered for membership in your clan I’d be willing to slouch whenever in public. Furthermore if we were to ever meet in person I’d get there 1 hour ahead of schedule and be seated before you arrive. I’d also remain seated at all times, whenever you are present. Please advise if these conditions are acceptable, or if you have any others. Once we agree in principle, I’d like to get started on my interview questions.


Humbly,

vexx

I'd still like to start this clan. Anyone interested?

i am.

but i am only 7' 1

#1_stunna wrote:i am.

but i am only 7' 1

Perfect, you barely make it!

5 years from this exact moment I will be laying in the nude watching Jurassic park, thinking to myself “I would pay 2 grilled cheese sandwiches, 5 used hairbrushes, and a midget named Jeff just to get to wear a denim jacket to work everyday,” but my mind quickly starts to wonder away in its own thoughts, “I really love the letter ‘h’, that is exactly why I would put a three legged giraffe in Jurassic park waaaaay before a leopard, plus, look on the bright side, the dinosaurs could very easily eat a three legged giraffe, but a leopard? Really? That thing would get away in a second. Hmmm, thinking of a leopard, I would sure love to ride one….”

I hope my application is accepted!

Chuuuuck wrote:5 years from this exact moment I will be laying in the nude watching Jurassic park, thinking to myself “I would pay 2 grilled cheese sandwiches, 5 used hairbrushes, and a midget named Jeff just to get to wear a denim jacket to work everyday,” but my mind quickly starts to wonder away in its own thoughts, “I really love the letter ‘h’, that is exactly why I would put a three legged giraffe in Jurassic park waaaaay before a leopard, plus, look on the bright side, the dinosaurs could very easily eat a three legged giraffe, but a leopard? Really? That thing would get away in a second. Hmmm, thinking of a leopard, I would sure love to ride one….”

I hope my application is accepted!

Your application has been received and, while I can't say anything official yet, I can say that it favours comparably against the other applications we have seen. Our panel of judges under 7'2 tall will review it in complete tonight while baking butternut squash and singing "Pants on the Ground".

Bex

Beckytheblondie wrote:

Chuuuuck wrote:5 years from this exact moment I will be laying in the nude watching Jurassic park, thinking to myself “I would pay 2 grilled cheese sandwiches, 5 used hairbrushes, and a midget named Jeff just to get to wear a denim jacket to work everyday,” but my mind quickly starts to wonder away in its own thoughts, “I really love the letter ‘h’, that is exactly why I would put a three legged giraffe in Jurassic park waaaaay before a leopard, plus, look on the bright side, the dinosaurs could very easily eat a three legged giraffe, but a leopard? Really? That thing would get away in a second. Hmmm, thinking of a leopard, I would sure love to ride one….”

I hope my application is accepted!

Your application has been received and, while I can't say anything official yet, I can say that it favours comparably against the other applications we have seen. Our panel of judges under 7'2 tall will review it in complete tonight while baking butternut squash and singing "Pants on the Ground".

Bex

I am also very good at knitting and could knit special uniforms for those over 7'2. But please, no butternut squash around me... it goes straight to my thighs!

I am just wondering what the status of this new clan is?

I am very interested in joining.

thanks.

Howard