Conquer Club

It has just been brought to my attention that I may have behaved in an inappropriate way in the topic concerning the user called LickMyBallz:

Twill wrote:Subject: How far are names allowed to go?

mandalorian2298 wrote:Guy probably thinks that dunking his balls in honey, and then having someone lick them clean, helps his game. What can you do, golfers can be weird, but I don't see why why you find his silliness to be insulting?

Lets try to keep the baiting to a minimum outside of FW mandy.

Twill

Since Mods are here to insure that these forums remain fun for everyone, I took this warning to heart and, after much soul-searching, I have decided that a formal apology is in order. So, here goes:

I would like to begin by apologizing to LickMyBallz. Dear LickMyBallz, I have no reason to believe nor did I mean to imply that you are a golfer. Also, I have no idea if your name, 'LickMyBallz', refers to golf balls or not, but I now realize that it was wrong for me to imply that you are inviting people to lick golf balls without having any real knowledge of the 'Balls' that you are referring to. So, I am ready to stand up and testify in this public forum that I have no real reason to believe that you have ever coated your golf balls in honey and/or invited people to lick those or any other golf balls. I was just trying to make a joke, and I'm sincerely sorry if my words caused you any pain.

Secondly, I would like to apologize to all the golfers who visit CC forums for implying that golfers are weird and/or that any golfer has ever coated his golf balls in honey and invited other people to lick them in an attempt to improve his game. Golf is a noble game and I am sure that all golfers are above such petty attempts to improve their game through honeying their golf balls and then having them licked.

Finally, I would like to apologize to the author of the said thread, Kotaro, for inappropriately jesting about the topic of his thread - LickMyBallz. The issue of LickMyBallz, is much to serious for me to disrupting the discussion about LickMyBallz with with jokes in poor taste. I promise that will try to handle LickMyBallz with better taste from now on. LickMyBallz is indeed not something that should be joked about, indeed it is a very serious topic which should be resolved once and for all. If there is anything that I can do to help with settling the whole LickMyBallz issue, please don't hesitate to PM me and I will gladly offer any assistance that I can.

i for one, will rest much better tonight... thank you.-0

Wait, what?

<___<

It's okay mandy... You're friends are here to support you in your time of suffering.

I'm glad you were able to get that off your chest. It must have been horrible for you after you found out he may not be a golfer. I wonder if he plays Basketball and if so, those are some pretty big balls to be licking.

Trust me when I say, ...LickMyBallz seems to be a decent opponent and in my book of 80% farming and 20% butchering,, I don't have any qualms about LickMyBallz at all.

happy2seeyou wrote:I'm glad you were able to get that off your chest. It must have been horrible for you after you found out he may not be a golfer. I wonder if he plays Basketball and if so, those are some pretty big balls to be licking.

Whether the balls need licking or not or even what size those balls are, is not really germane to the discussion.

As a golfer I can only say, I was shocked to read about this pursuit of licking balls. I can safely say that at the Clubhouse, I have never seen any balls getting any other treatment than the normal thwacking we like to give them. Licking is most definitely not allowed anywhere on the course or in the Clubhouse. I am pleased, as a Golfer, that Mando should deem it necessary to apologise for this terrible reference. I will however admit to handling my golf balls most tenderly from time to time, all in the pursuit of ensuring they are not damaged in any way, especially after having hit one incorrectly or by accident.

Fruitcake wrote:

happy2seeyou wrote:I'm glad you were able to get that off your chest. It must have been horrible for you after you found out he may not be a golfer. I wonder if he plays Basketball and if so, those are some pretty big balls to be licking.

Whether the balls need licking or not or even what size those balls are, is not really germane to the discussion.

As a golfer I can only say, I was shocked to read about this pursuit of licking balls. I can safely say that at the Clubhouse, I have never seen any balls getting any other treatment than the normal thwacking we like to give them. Licking is most definitely not allowed anywhere on the course or in the Clubhouse. I am pleased, as a Golfer, that Mando should deem it necessary to apologise for this terrible reference. I will however admit to handling my golf balls most tenderly from time to time, all in the pursuit of ensuring they are not damaged in any way, especially after having hit one incorrectly or by accident.

I too am pleased with Mandy's approach.

I accept your apology. I was shocked when I read your "joke", but in my cowardice I didn't inform you of the hurtfullness of it. I want to ask everyone else who felt sad at my inability to complain to please accept my dearest apologies. It was inconsiderate of me to be so selfish and ignore the harm it could have and did cause others.

Please accept my humblest of apologies, fellow golfer.

I'm not ashamed to say that I think all golfers are a bunch of ball-whacking, bag-handling free swingers. The fact that you guys are even allowed to stand out in public holding your sticks and driving your balls is appalling to me.

Mandalorian, you shouldn't have apologized. Any insult hurled at a golfer is well-deserved.

Mandy, It takes a brave man to face up to his misdemeanours and to make public amends for them.

May I say that with this heartfelt gesture, you have won my undying respect and adulation.

Fruitcake wrote:

happy2seeyou wrote:I'm glad you were able to get that off your chest. It must have been horrible for you after you found out he may not be a golfer. I wonder if he plays Basketball and if so, those are some pretty big balls to be licking.

Whether the balls need licking or not or even what size those balls are, is not really germane to the discussion.

As a golfer I can only say, I was shocked to read about this pursuit of licking balls. I can safely say that at the Clubhouse, I have never seen any balls getting any other treatment than the normal thwacking we like to give them. Licking is most definitely not allowed anywhere on the course or in the Clubhouse. I am pleased, as a Golfer, that Mando should deem it necessary to apologise for this terrible reference. I will however admit to handling my golf balls most tenderly from time to time, all in the pursuit of ensuring they are not damaged in any way, especially after having hit one incorrectly or by accident.

fruit i have seen it with my own eyes. balls being licked clean(no honey was involved), it's disgusting. most golfers would use their towel to wipe their balls clean, but alas some dirty buggers like to lick them.

DAZMCFC wrote:fruit i have seen it with my own eyes. balls being licked clean(no honey was involved), it's disgusting. most golfers would use their towel to wipe their balls clean, but alas some dirty buggers like to lick them.

well, being an avid golfer i can tell you this much. sometimes a little gentle nibble with the teeth, a good strong lick, and a powerful sucking action is needed to get out grass stains on your ballz. so, let me apologize before my admission... however, i am proudly a ball licker.-0

On my local eighteen, this ballz-licking phenomenon seems to be rather common. However, the implication that one would offer his or her ballz for someone else to lick is beyond degrading. Golfers work so hard to purchase honey for their ballz and to so wantonly throw this fact aside is disgusting. Your apology is accepted, mandy, and may your own ballz fly true.

I would like to thank all of you guys for your understanding and forgiveness. I would also like to thank Twill for the professional manner in which he handled the whole LickMyBallz situation, which just goes to show how much work Mods are ready to invest into keeping this forums fun for everyone.

Thank Mandy .I’m so glad Twill stepped in there before things went too far.The whole balling community could have been in disarray.
You apology is accepted.

Mandy I know you mean well and I know how hard that apology must've been...but I can't forgive you. You just crossed a line okay? You became just a whole different person to me. I couldn't believe that you would insult and hurt me like that. So much trust was shattered.

I know this is a hard time for you, but I cannot accept that apology. It just was too far mandy, too far.

Mandy can lick my balls for apologizing about licking honey off someone elses balls who in turn was insulted again for the use of the phrase lick my balls and which in turn unleashed twill on all of us. wait...what?

what,me worry? wrote:Mandy can lick my balls for apologizing about licking honey off someone elses balls who in turn was insulted again for the use of the phrase lick my balls and which in turn unleashed twill on all of us. wait...what?

Waaaaaaaah!!! I'm being flamed outside of Flame Wars! Make him stop, Mods, make him stoooop!




No, wait, it's just joke. You can holster them guys.

Well this thread has certainly opened my eyes.

I cannot believe this ball licking takes place. It is an absolute disgrace I tell you, a disgrace indeed!

One should never lick them, or nibble them as owen mentions, his whole nibbling, licking and sucking 'thing' made me feel quite nauseous...the very thought of it.

However, sometimes I do wash mine gently in warm water with soft gentle soap. Then I have one of my female staff lightly pat them dry with a nice soft fluffy towel (well the ladies are just so much more tender)....but licking...Never, as long as I own the damned Club that's for sure.

Fruitcake wrote:Then I have one of my female staff lightly pat them dry with a nice soft fluffy towel (well the ladies are just so much more tender)....but licking...Never, as long as I own the damned Club that's for sure.

fruitcake, you are missing out, my friend... you should have one of your female staff gently blow on your balls after washing them tenderly within their mouth. this is one of the best sure fire ways to clean golf balls. a nice gentle mouth wash followed with a tender blow, is the way to go.-0

i made it to "Dear LickMyBallz...."

im impressed with the satire, and the fact that you got to page two without a move...

sure youre maybe a little too upset about being reprimanded, but i cant say that I wasnt laughing

AAFitz wrote:im impressed with the satire, and the fact that you got to page two without a move...

sure youre maybe a little too upset about being reprimanded, but i cant say that I wasnt laughing

Let's not downplay the importance of mandy's apology. He made a gaffe on par with a Bushism and it takes honey-covered ballz to admit that.

AAFitz wrote:im impressed with the satire, and the fact that you got to page two without a move...

sure youre maybe a little too upset about being reprimanded, but i cant say that I wasnt laughing

It was my only aim to give you guys something to chuckle about. I wouldn't say that I was actually upset with Twill's PM, since it was politely worded and non-threatening. I just find it weird that he felt my initial post could insult anyone (except Iliad the Ubergolfer, of course ). Also, it gave me an excuse to post this thread, so, all and all, I consider it to be a good cautioning PM.

Mandy, since I know that you are professional golfer one thing makes me wonder... how do you treat your balls? Do you lick them yourself or call professional ball lickers?