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NEWCOMERS BEWARE: Unnecessary threads

PostPosted: Wed Dec 10, 2008 10:36 am
by e_i_pi
DISCLAIMER: What you're about to read is in no way spam. It's legitimate use of the forums and any individual who is unoriginal and has little to no interest in real life can do this until the cows come home (I've even use it myself!) This post is purely for uninformative purposes so as to increase the number of unnecessary threads that both they and I can submit to the forums with this particularly irrelevant ego-trip. It hurts to get your thread locked, but then that's the nature of the beast, in CC the objective is to carry on about yourself and your friends, spam up the forums, and generally be an ass!

NOTE: I may unnecessarily update this post from time to time, any unnecessary replies I make to this thread will only be an unnecessary response to other users unnecessary posts.

If you've read a lot of the threads in the forums then you'll know exactly what I mean by "Unnecessary Threads". If not, then read on my friend. In a forum thread (includes but is not limited to General Discussion and Flame Wars) the inherent value of each thread is nil or approaching nil at an escalating rate. As each thread is started, the forum gets unerringly closer to the asymptote where the average value of the entire forum or subforum approaches zero:

Code: Select all
  Entire forum value = Average value of all threads
->Entire forum value = ( ∞ * spam + 3 * something valuable ) ÷ ( ∞ + 3 )
->Entire forum value = 0.00000000...

This is dangerous only if the forum reader is expecting content of value, as he/she then replies with something along the lines of "Er this thread is pointless" thereby increasing the pointlessness of the thread by one extra iota. The process can be then repeated on the next unwitting forum reader until eventually all forum readers are pulled into the trap and the forum itself becomes one giant whirlpool of "wateva dice iz riged"'s and "zomg Top 5 haxx0r"'s.

Now, there is nothing wrong with unnecessary threads, you just need to keep an eye on those posters that are doing it simply to show that pulling one's e-peen is something that can be done repeatedly in public without remorse or recourse. They're the ones looking for the attention to sustain their rolling spam right across the forum strata. Below are some threads that illustrate this point.

THREAD of RECORDS-1ST 5's and TOP 5's by Blitzaholic
Conqueror Herpes is Better than YOU by maxatstuy
Halloween FW Tournament Highlights by TheProwler
The having sex with your moms thread by KingHerpes

Here are a few questions you might ask:

Q: Isn't it pointless?
A: Well, actually I don't know, it might be. But personally I don't think so, but I might be biased because I like doing it. But honestly, you could do a lot worse (or cheaper) than post threads for your own amusement.

Q: How do I avoid getting spammed by these posters?
A: Try to have a reasonably long foe list. If someone amuses you once then you're a target for spam, simple as. Of course, you could always spam them first!

Q: But what if I like reading forums?
A: That's up to you, but don't be surprised if you find yourself added to polls in the process. It's not very sporting when used on people that aren't regular posters, as everyone laughs at them with comments like "wateva yournamehere iz scrub" or "zomg Top 5 lamez0rs".

Q: Hmmmm, I'm not so sure I like the sound of unnecessary threads, should I stop reading them?
A: WHOA! I'm not telling you to avoid unnecessary threads, I'm just saying be careful. Unnecessary threads are generally quicker reads anyway (as everyone is on your foe list) so if you want a long drawn out read, then maybe give them miss. Otherwise jump on in and make sure you're packing a less worthwhile opinion than everyone else!

Q: Is this thread spam?
A: NOPE! It's legitimate and within the rules. No spamming here, nope, not a sausage.

Q: Is it urine extraction on an epic scale?
A: HELL YES! But then again urine extraction is not expressly forbidden. Let's be honest, you'd do the same in my position as well, wouldn't you?

Q: Holy Cow! I don't want to get bored to death literally, should I give up on forums altogether?
A: HELL NO! I've not put this post together because I want to scare you off reading forums forever! I simply want you to go into this with your eyes open. Fore-warned is fore-armed, now all you got to do is get some practice in by watching an oil painting of grass growing slowly dry!

Take care now and see you in the forums.

e_i_pi

Re: NEWCOMERS BEWARE: Unnecessary threads

PostPosted: Wed Dec 10, 2008 10:39 am
by Bruceswar
:lol: :lol:

This is for a good morning read! Thanks!

Re: NEWCOMERS BEWARE: Unnecessary threads

PostPosted: Wed Dec 10, 2008 11:41 am
by Timminz
I, Timminz, do hereby nominate this as "Best Thread Evar" (typing that 'a' actually hurt), or at least a contender for "Top 5 Threads Evar" (Fuckbuckets! Why do people write that with a god-damned 'a'?)

Re: NEWCOMERS BEWARE: Unnecessary threads

PostPosted: Wed Dec 10, 2008 3:29 pm
by Incandenza
3.14, I hereby award you One (1) Internet.

Re: NEWCOMERS BEWARE: Unnecessary threads

PostPosted: Wed Dec 10, 2008 3:37 pm
by owenshooter
incase anyone doesn't get the humour in all of this, you need to see one of the many threads started by artimis, to truly get a giggle out of this:

viewtopic.php?f=58&t=71554

thanks for this thread, i almost died...-6cd

Re: NEWCOMERS BEWARE: Unnecessary threads

PostPosted: Thu Dec 11, 2008 2:38 am
by Artimis
That's hillarious! :lol:

I thought this was another attempt at goading by Owenshooter, but I'm actually glad he directed my attention here. :D