Dear Tobias,
It has been quite some epoch since our last collaboration, and I trust that my subsequent consign finds you profuse. Suffice to say, the clime of Vanuatu is assuredly preferential to that of these United Kingdoms! It is certainly quite some sojourn you are undertaking. Post hoc of your departure, your most exuberant Uncle Bastian has been commissioned to scheme a monument to Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge, and naturally he's presently feeling quite ardent!
Mrs Hjördis-Mårdh from the polo club has recently been tipped to become an Undersecretary for the dicastery of the Apostolic Penitentiary, but this is all very much proscription, and - where your father is concerned - somewhat contentious! Verily, he was yesterday cited as saying that "she can go f*ck herself". Personally, I consider the aforementioned statement to be an involute metaphor, but one can't expect your mother to expound it that way.
And so, to succour you during your travels, I shall leave you with the words of Timothy 6:12;
Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called and about which you made the good confession in the presence of many witnesses.
Best wishes,
Ludwig
Post Scriptum:
I am currently experiencing some - shall we say - 'technical difficulties' with my oft-niggardly internet services provider, so do not be alarmed should my intercourse cease for a matter of days!
