LETTERS

by **khazalid** on Mon Nov 04, 2013 5:47 am

ERGO, WIT.

by **khazalid** on Mon Nov 04, 2013 5:49 am

WHY , o why, is this forum constantly dRoOlIng? killing cc. i hope you're happy, zombies.

by **Serbia** on Mon Nov 04, 2013 7:26 am

khazalid wrote:WHY , o why, is this forum constantly dRoOlIng? killing cc. i hope you're happy, zombies.

Bollocks.

by **2dimes** on Mon Nov 04, 2013 2:13 pm

With their posts and their threads and their bombs they are drooling.

by **Anarkistsdream** on Mon Nov 04, 2013 2:26 pm

A haiku by khaz
would be much better than this
I hope he writes one

by **khazalid** on Mon Nov 04, 2013 3:18 pm

I bloody well will not. I'd just hoped to make you all aware that you're neither funny, original, or entertaining.

many thanks serbia - somehow i'd rolled through life never hearing that song, and thus would have been unable to understand your incredibly tenuous link. it's a good job you're looking out for us. bollocks

by **Serbia** on Mon Nov 04, 2013 8:27 pm

khazalid wrote:many thanks serbia - somehow i'd rolled through life never hearing that song, and thus would have been unable to understand your incredibly tenuous link. it's a good job you're looking out for us. bollocks

THEN YOU BEST KEEP ROLLIN'

Bollocks.

by **notyou2** on Mon Nov 04, 2013 8:58 pm

I just submitted a copy of this letter to my insurance adjustor.

Dear Sir:

I am writing in response to your request for additional information for my insurance claim. In block number 3 of the accident claim form I wrote, "trying to do the job alone" as the cause of my accident. You said in your letter that I should explain that statement more fully. I trust the following details will be sufficient.

I am a bricklayer by trade. On the date of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work I discovered that I had about 500 pounds of bricks left over. Rather than carrying the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley which was attached to the side of the building at the sixth-floor level. Securing, the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out, and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went back down to the ground and untied the rope, holding it tightly to insure a slow descent of the 500 pounds of bricks. You will note in block number 22 of the claim form that my weight is 150 pounds.

Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded up the side of the building at a very rapid rate of speed. In the vicinity of the third floor I met the barrel coming down. This explains my fractured skull and collarbone. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley.

By this time, I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope in spite of my pain. At approximately the same time however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Devoid of the weight of the bricks, the barrel then weighed approximately 50 pounds. I refer you again to the information in block number 22 regarding my weight. As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles and the lacerations of my legs and lower body. This second encounter with the barrel slowed me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell onto the pile of bricks and fortunately, only three vertebrae were cracked.

I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the bricks in pain, unable to stand and watching the empty barrel six stories above me, I again lost my presence of mind and let go of the rope. The empty barrel weighed more than the rope, so it proceeded at a rapid decent down the side of the building, landing on and breaking both of my legs.

I hope I have furnished information sufficient to explain why "trying to do the job alone" was the stated cause of the accident.

Sincerely,

A Bricklayer