Noah

[tkr4lf]

Are they seriously making a gritty reboot of the fucking Noah's Arc story?

And is it seriously starring Russel fucking Crowe as Noah?

Has anybody else seen the previews for this travesty?

Does it really show Russel "Noah" Crowe throwing a fucking goddamn spear?

WHERE IN THE NOAH'S ARC STORY DOES NOAH THROW A FUCKING SPEAR?

FUCKING NO WHERE GODDAMMIT! NOOOOO WHERRRRRE!

Hollywood needs to shrivel up and die already. It's making me ashamed to be from this country. Fucking Noah's Arc.

[TA1LGUNN3R]

Dude... It's Darren Aronofsky. Check yo self.

Although yeah, I'm not a fan of Crowe. But it does have Jennifer Connelly.

-TG

[betiko]

it's actually a great story

Zacharie Noah
professional football player, won a french cup in the 60s



his son Yannick Noah
professional tennis player, won rolland garros in the 80s


won a davis cup as head coach of the french team


became a singer ever since and is often elected french people's favorite french person


and his grandson Joakim Noah who is a professional basketball player playing for the chicago bulls


So what will the next Noah generation play? my bet is american football in NHL, but we'll have to wait a few decades. So who russel crowe will play in all this, I didn't get it?

[Ray Rider]

Are they seriously making a gritty reboot of the fucking Noah's Arc story?

And is it seriously starring Russel fucking Crowe as Noah?

Has anybody else seen the previews for this travesty?

Does it really show Russel "Noah" Crowe throwing a fucking goddamn spear?

WHERE IN THE NOAH'S ARC STORY DOES NOAH THROW A FUCKING SPEAR?

FUCKING NO WHERE GODDAMMIT! NOOOOO WHERRRRRE!

Hollywood needs to shrivel up and die already. It's making me ashamed to be from this country. Fucking Noah's Arc.

Why don't you open up a little bit a tell us how you really feel? lol

Seriously though, so far your only criticism is that Noah throws a spear which isn't mentioned in the Bible...it's pretty hard to imagine a person from that era not throwing a spear at some point in time, but whatever--you seem pretty worked up about it! Me, I'll reserve judgement until I've seen the whole thing myself. I've been a fan of Crowe ever since Gladiator and A Beautiful Mind.

Oh and yeah, obviously it's an old storyline to pick for a movie but can you blame them for giving it a shot, considering the blockbuster popularity of The Bible series from last year (in spite of multiple deficiencies in acting, effects, jarring storyline, etc)?

[Army of GOD]

Joakim Noah is a piece of shit.

[betiko]

Joakim Noah is a piece of shit.

he's still a greatly improved player. last night i watched the bulls, his father was comenting the game on tv with some other guys from here.

[AndyDufresne]

Noah Lindsey Cyrus (sister of Miley Cyrus) -- what is everyone's opinion of her: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Noah_Lindsey_Cyrus

She's 14 by the way, so watch yourselves.


--Andy

[betiko]

Noah Lindsey Cyrus (sister of Miley Cyrus) -- what is everyone's opinion of her: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Noah_Lindsey_Cyrus

She's 14 by the way, so watch yourselves.


--Andy

interesting!

you guys got this perfume across the pond?

[patches70]

Does it really show Russel "Noah" Crowe throwing a fucking goddamn spear?

Yeah, like what is the significance of a spear come in when talking about Noah or his family?

Well, Noah's grandfather was named Methuselah which means "Man of the Spear", but most people don't really know much about him or the meaning of the name. But Noah's father was named after the using of spears so it's a pretty good bet that Noah was probably pretty good with a spear as well.

But don't let little stuff like that get in the way of your good rant. Carry on.

[nietzsche]

Vamos al Noah Noah?

[Phatscotty]

Are they seriously making a gritty reboot of the fucking Noah's Arc story?

And is it seriously starring Russel fucking Crowe as Noah?

Has anybody else seen the previews for this travesty?

Does it really show Russel "Noah" Crowe throwing a fucking goddamn spear?

WHERE IN THE NOAH'S ARC STORY DOES NOAH THROW A FUCKING SPEAR?

FUCKING NO WHERE GODDAMMIT! NOOOOO WHERRRRRE!

Hollywood needs to shrivel up and die already. It's making me ashamed to be from this country. Fucking Noah's Arc.

Why don't you open up a little bit a tell us how you really feel? lol

Seriously though, so far your only criticism is that Noah throws a spear which isn't mentioned in the Bible...it's pretty hard to imagine a person from that era not throwing a spear at some point in time, but whatever--you seem pretty worked up about it! Me, I'll reserve judgement until I've seen the whole thing myself. I've been a fan of Crowe ever since Gladiator and A Beautiful Mind.

Oh and yeah, obviously it's an old storyline to pick for a movie but can you blame them for giving it a shot, considering the blockbuster popularity of The Bible series from last year (in spite of multiple deficiencies in acting, effects, jarring storyline, etc)?

You guys both overlook the simple fact that Noah's specialty was throwing knives. It was said that Noah was so good with his knives, when his people got hungry he could just throw a knife blindfolded and wherever it landed there would be a tasty meal.

[/]

Noah Lindsey Cyrus (sister of Miley Cyrus) -- what is everyone's opinion of her: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Noah_Lindsey_Cyrus

She's 14 by the way, so watch yourselves.


--Andy

Kinda hammy.


For more stories related to Noah and Ham, see the Noah's Ark sequel: The Curse Of Ham, where the very not underage (600+ years old) Noah gets drunk, naked, and possibly sodomized or castrated.

Anyways, I'd totally watch a Noah movie if they didn't leave out all the good rabbinic literature parts for once, like where he can't sleep for a year so that he can feed the giant clinging to the roof named Og, or the part where he argues with a talking raven.

[Serbia]

It's actually an "Ark".

Bollocks.

[betiko]

Vamos al Noah Noah?

I love the suit; where do you think i can get one?

[notyou2]

Vamos al Noah Noah?

I love the suit; where do you think i can get one?

Brooks Brothers.

[Phatscotty]

Noah: One of the Most Moral Stories Ever Told

by Dennis Prager

Next week, the film “Noah” opens.

Having taught the Torah (the Five Books of Moses) from the Hebrew for more than 40 years, I consider the biblical flood story one of the world’s most profound moral teachings. As I will show, it means that God cares about goodness more than anything else.
Let me explain by answering the most frequent challenges to the story.
Q: Why did God destroy the world?
A: Because “The Lord saw how great was man’s wickedness on earth. … And the Lord regretted that he had made man on the earth and His heart was saddened” (Genesis 6:5-6).
When God created the world, He announced after each day’s creations, “It was good.” But only after His final creation — the human being — on the sixth day, did God say, “It was very good.” God was particularly pleased with, and had the highest hopes for, this creation, the only one created “in His image.” This is not about man having God’s physical attributes (God is not physical). It is about humans being infinitely more precious than all other creations; and only man, like God, has moral knowledge and therefore moral free will.
When God saw how cruelly human beings treated one another, He decided that He would start over. Once people reach a certain level of widespread evil, life is pointless.
Q: Why did God destroy animals as well?
A: In the biblical worldview, the purpose of all creation is to benefit man. This anthropocentric view of nature, and indeed of the whole universe, is completely at odds with the current secular idealization of nature. This secular view posits that nature has its own intrinsic meaning and purpose, independent of man.
All of creation, in the biblical view, was to ultimately prepare the way for the creation of man. But one does not need the Bible alone to hold this view. A purely scientific reading of the universe is in keeping with this view. Everything — every natural and physical law — is exquisitely tuned to produce life, and ultimately man, on earth.
Q: Isn’t the biblical flood story just a fairy tale?
A: Two responses:
First, this is so only if you believe that the biblical flood story states that the entire earth from the North Pole to the South Pole was flooded and that every living creature from penguins to polar bears, except for the animals and the people on Noah’s ark, was killed. But that is not what the story says. The narrative speaks of the world where Noah lived: It is expressly stated in Genesis 9:10 that there were other animals in the world that were not killed by the flood.
Second, the primary purpose of the flood story — like other stories in the Bible, such as the creation story — is to convey enduring wisdom and moral insight, not geology or science. And the lessons of the flood story influenced civilization for millennia.
Q: What are these lessons?
A: One has already been mentioned: If evil becomes widespread enough, there is no longer a purpose to human existence.
Second, God values goodness more than any other human trait. Thus, the only reason Noah was saved was that “Noah was a just man and perfect in his generations” (Genesis 6:9). This alone renders the biblical story unique among the flood stories of the ancient world. In those stories, a very common reason the gods saved a man was that the gods found him physically, not morally, exceptional.
Third, God hates evil. And so should we.
A fourth lesson is the moral necessity of divine revelation. God created man without giving him a Ten Commandments or any other revealed moral instruction. The only moral code was the one God built in to the human being: the conscience. Clearly this was not enough to make a good world. The world sank into evil. This is another biblical lesson that runs entirely counter to a dominant belief of the modern age. The secular world holds that religion and God are morally unnecessary; the individual’s conscience is sufficient to guide moral behavior. The Bible, as usual, knew better.
After the evil that led to the flood, God decided to reveal basic moral rules — such as that murder is wrong. So wrong that one of the moral rules revealed after the flood is that murderers must be put to death — yet another way in which this story runs counter to the prevailing doctrines of our time. No wonder the secular world ignores the Bible and the left largely loathes it.
Given the unprecedented ignorance of the Bible in contemporary America, it is likely that more young Americans will only know the Noah of “Noah.” We can only hope that the film offers even a fraction of the wisdom of the original.

http://www.dennisprager.com/noah-one-mo ... ever-told/

[Symmetry]

TLDR version: Drunk driver crashes ship carrying dinosaurs into mountain, exposes himself to his kids.

[2dimes]

TLDR version: Drunk driver crashes ship carrying dinosaurs into mountain, exposes himself to his kids.

I fear this would be much better than what they're going to film. I do hope Mel Gibson gets your screen play and makes one in Hebrew.

[Symmetry]

TLDR version: Drunk driver crashes ship carrying dinosaurs into mountain, exposes himself to his kids.

I fear this would be much better than what they're going to film. I do hope Mel Gibson gets your screen play and makes one in Hebrew.

I'm not sure Mel would have driven home all the poignant moral messages. He's probably not allowed to drive anything now though.

[oVo]

The movie is out there... Why won't anybody say that Noah is terrible?
$200 million dollars spent and I'm wondering how much of that pays for hype to fill theater seats.

[Army of GOD]

Any Bible story is guaranteed to make a ton of money because America always gets a boner for them.

[Symmetry]

Any Bible story is guaranteed to make a ton of money because America always gets a boner for them.

For sure. The "Adam and Steve" porn flick seems to have recouped it's expenses given how often I see evangelicals reference it.

[pimpdave]

Movie is awesome. It's a telling of the gnostic version of the Noah story & stays very true to the text. You should all expect this; Aronofsky made his affiliation with kabbalah apparent in Pi, his first film. Don't be idiots, go see it.

[chang50]

Noah: One of the Most Moral Stories Ever Told

by Dennis Prager

Next week, the film “Noah” opens.

Having taught the Torah (the Five Books of Moses) from the Hebrew for more than 40 years, I consider the biblical flood story one of the world’s most profound moral teachings. As I will show, it means that God cares about goodness more than anything else.
Let me explain by answering the most frequent challenges to the story.
Q: Why did God destroy the world?
A: Because “The Lord saw how great was man’s wickedness on earth. … And the Lord regretted that he had made man on the earth and His heart was saddened” (Genesis 6:5-6).
When God created the world, He announced after each day’s creations, “It was good.” But only after His final creation — the human being — on the sixth day, did God say, “It was very good.” God was particularly pleased with, and had the highest hopes for, this creation, the only one created “in His image.” This is not about man having God’s physical attributes (God is not physical). It is about humans being infinitely more precious than all other creations; and only man, like God, has moral knowledge and therefore moral free will.
When God saw how cruelly human beings treated one another, He decided that He would start over. Once people reach a certain level of widespread evil, life is pointless.
Q: Why did God destroy animals as well?
A: In the biblical worldview, the purpose of all creation is to benefit man. This anthropocentric view of nature, and indeed of the whole universe, is completely at odds with the current secular idealization of nature. This secular view posits that nature has its own intrinsic meaning and purpose, independent of man.
All of creation, in the biblical view, was to ultimately prepare the way for the creation of man. But one does not need the Bible alone to hold this view. A purely scientific reading of the universe is in keeping with this view. Everything — every natural and physical law — is exquisitely tuned to produce life, and ultimately man, on earth.
Q: Isn’t the biblical flood story just a fairy tale?
A: Two responses:
First, this is so only if you believe that the biblical flood story states that the entire earth from the North Pole to the South Pole was flooded and that every living creature from penguins to polar bears, except for the animals and the people on Noah’s ark, was killed. But that is not what the story says. The narrative speaks of the world where Noah lived: It is expressly stated in Genesis 9:10 that there were other animals in the world that were not killed by the flood.
Second, the primary purpose of the flood story — like other stories in the Bible, such as the creation story — is to convey enduring wisdom and moral insight, not geology or science. And the lessons of the flood story influenced civilization for millennia.
Q: What are these lessons?
A: One has already been mentioned: If evil becomes widespread enough, there is no longer a purpose to human existence.
Second, God values goodness more than any other human trait. Thus, the only reason Noah was saved was that “Noah was a just man and perfect in his generations” (Genesis 6:9). This alone renders the biblical story unique among the flood stories of the ancient world. In those stories, a very common reason the gods saved a man was that the gods found him physically, not morally, exceptional.
Third, God hates evil. And so should we.
A fourth lesson is the moral necessity of divine revelation. God created man without giving him a Ten Commandments or any other revealed moral instruction. The only moral code was the one God built in to the human being: the conscience. Clearly this was not enough to make a good world. The world sank into evil. This is another biblical lesson that runs entirely counter to a dominant belief of the modern age. The secular world holds that religion and God are morally unnecessary; the individual’s conscience is sufficient to guide moral behavior. The Bible, as usual, knew better.
After the evil that led to the flood, God decided to reveal basic moral rules — such as that murder is wrong. So wrong that one of the moral rules revealed after the flood is that murderers must be put to death — yet another way in which this story runs counter to the prevailing doctrines of our time. No wonder the secular world ignores the Bible and the left largely loathes it.
Given the unprecedented ignorance of the Bible in contemporary America, it is likely that more young Americans will only know the Noah of “Noah.” We can only hope that the film offers even a fraction of the wisdom of the original.

http://www.dennisprager.com/noah-one-mo ... ever-told/

Wow Prager is one sick puppy..I wonder if he considers the Jewish holacaust or the Killing Fields in the same light.

[2dimes]

Finally getting around to watching it on the Netflicks. First half hour is pretty good.