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"Early" Love and Marriage

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Re: "Early" Love and Marriage

Postby kentington on Tue Jan 29, 2013 12:44 am

Funkyterrance wrote:
kentington wrote: You just have to be old enough in the noggin to realize that getting married doesn't fix any problems, only amplifies them. :)

Is that supposed to be encouraging? :lol:


Lol. Not at all. I have seen a lot of friends get married thinking it will fix certain issues with their relationship. Usually these same problems that they couldn't deal with while dating end up separating them.
I know of one couple that had kids to fix their problems. This really bothered me.

If you can't fix your problems currently, either you shouldn't be together at all or you need to find a way to resolve the situation. i.e. agree to disagree, compromise, one person gives in completely ( Just be aware that with big issues there tends to be a lot of resentment from the "non-winner").
Bruceswar » Tue Aug 28, 2012 8:59 pm wrote:We all had tons of men..
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Re: "Early" Love and Marriage

Postby iamkoolerthanu on Tue Jan 29, 2013 12:44 am

swimmerdude99 wrote:
iamkoolerthanu wrote:I'll be turning 20 in March, I met my girlfriend in early teens, and started dating her almost four years now. We broke up last year for a couple months, tried new people, and came back to each other, and are currently together and very happy

So I think yes you could find true love at my age, though I guess I need to wait a few years to know for sure, I think I know.. I mean the past four years is a long time to not be in love with someone lol


What about it makes you wonder if you are "in love" or not? What is the definition of love to you?

To me love is not so much a feeling or something that you "get" or have its rather choosing to constantly have a mindset of forgiving and wellwishing for that people and being willing to forgive and come back to that person. That person is someone you can choose to be selfless towards at all times, do things for their good even if in return you may not get something good.


It's not that I wonder if I'm in love, I know I am right now, it's that I can't know for sure that it is a lasting, forever kind of love, because if you ask most couples dating a long time they will say they are in love, but they don't always stay together or even in love with each other. So I won't know until time passes, at least thats what people tell me
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Re: "Early" Love and Marriage

Postby / on Tue Jan 29, 2013 2:54 am

I'm 21 and I've always been a loner. Honestly I have no idea what make the average person feel love or a desire towards marriage, so my views are probably a bit off.

Statistically, younger couples are much more likely to divorce, and I would assume the same is true for breakups.

Demographically, people are more likely to have similar sets of psychological morality based on their age. Younger people tend to lean to more selfish traits, or more conventional values.
Those who are self interested in general might view a relationship on a purely beneficial level; looks, money, pleasure of company, or the like. To such a person, the "price" of time, energy, and money might seem like a waste in comparison to the potential a young person can invest to their own desires.
A more contemporary person who prefers to conform to the standards of their peers might marry (whether consciously or subconsciously) in order to fulfill the basic "goals" of a "normal person"; to have a family or to have a partner to show off, in order to appear normal to everyone, or to meet the expectations of their friends and family. This is ultimately only more stable so long as the ethics of society support such. In modern society the template of normality has gradually changed from "everyone has a happy loving family" to "everyone is getting divorced", thus the observation serves as a self-fulfilling prophesy psychologically.

The more "mature" individuals of the earlier generations would mostly fit into the conventional ideals of the "happy family", or the post conventional ideals of compromise and understanding, thus their relatively stable lifestyles.
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Re: "Early" Love and Marriage

Postby daddy1gringo on Tue Jan 29, 2013 8:14 am

"In marriage, being the right person is as important as having found the right person." -- Don Wilkerson
The right answer to the wrong question is still the wrong answer to the real question.
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Re: "Early" Love and Marriage

Postby KoolBak on Tue Jan 29, 2013 9:05 am

lol....tough crowd ;o)

I got together with my bride at 25 (did my playing / testing before that)....I am 50 and we are still together.

It ain't easy brother, but I had always promised myself that I never wanted to be divorced...damn near 50% of the married folks I knew had been including close friends and siblings. We waited 10 years to have kids thinking we'd be more mature / fiscally responsible....what a load :lol: I plan on being immature for the rest of my life....just wanna raise good kids - only real goal in life.

So.....17- and on (or whatever age)...play.....be nice....have relationships....have one night stands.....do whatever you want. I think you'll know when marriage is right - perhaps never, perhaps soon.....

Some people are just such DICKS, however, they'll never have a chance at a successful marriage....c'est la vie mon frere ;o)
"Gypsy told my fortune...she said that nothin showed...."

Neil Young....Like An Inca

AND:
riskllama wrote:Koolbak wins this thread.
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Re: "Early" Love and Marriage

Postby JBlombier on Tue Jan 29, 2013 10:55 am

This thread is so full of love. I'll come back when I have something substantial to say, but I see some softening up happen here. Good!
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