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I'm Happy to Be of Service!

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Re: I'm Happy to Be of Service!

Postby saxitoxin on Fri Jan 20, 2012 1:29 pm

barackattack wrote:Do I have to wait until Saxi T.'s return to speak to a female operative?


Customer service representatives are assigned in the order in which inquiries are received. With what can I assist you?
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Re: I'm Happy to Be of Service!

Postby barackattack on Fri Jan 20, 2012 1:31 pm

You can assist me by putting me through to a female operative.
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Re: I'm Happy to Be of Service!

Postby Pedronicus on Fri Jan 20, 2012 1:36 pm

Is this Raj of the Bombay Call Centre Raj?
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Re: I'm Happy to Be of Service!

Postby natty dread on Fri Jan 20, 2012 1:38 pm

saxitoxin wrote:
natty_dread wrote:Hello Raj. I want to file a complaint. The mettwurst Saxi T. sent me did not contain any horse meat. At all.

I'm gravely insulted by this oversight on your part, and let me assure you that if you want to continue business relations with me, I expect an apology and mettwurst that contains at least 26.5% horse meat.


Please provide your unique, 22-digit reference number and I will check Saxi's notes.


My reference number is 2222222222222222222223.

NOW WHERE IS MY METTWURST!
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Re: I'm Happy to Be of Service!

Postby saxitoxin on Fri Jan 20, 2012 1:39 pm

natty_dread wrote:My reference number is 2222222222222222222223.

NOW WHERE IS MY METTWURST!


I am happy to answer your question.

Medicare generally does not cover health care while you are outside the United States. The Social Security Administration considers Puerto Rico, the Virgin Islands, Guam, Samoa, the Northern Mariana Islands and the Federated States of Micronesia to be parts of the United States. In rare cases, however, Medicare may pay for inpatient hospital services provided in Canada or Mexico if:

- You live in the United States and a hospital in Canada or Mexico is closer to your home than the nearest United States hospital; or
- You are crossing through Canada without delay between Alaska and another state and have a medical emergency while in the Yukon Territory or the Province of British Columbia; or
- You are crossing through Canada without delay between Point Roberts, Washington and another part of the State of Washington and have a medical emergency while in the Province of British Columbia

For more information, visit ssa.gov.

We are happy this answered your question!

If you would like to take our customer satisfaction survey, please click here:

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/JHB696L
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Re: I'm Happy to Be of Service!

Postby saxitoxin on Fri Jan 20, 2012 1:40 pm

Pedronicus wrote:Is this Raj of the Bombay Call Centre Raj?


For the safety of our staff and customers, we are not permitted to disclose our geographic location. Is there something else with which I can assist you?
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Re: I'm Happy to Be of Service!

Postby Pedronicus on Fri Jan 20, 2012 1:42 pm

saxitoxin wrote:
Pedronicus wrote:Is this Raj of the Bombay Call Centre Raj?


For the safety of our staff and customers, we are not permitted to disclose our geographic location. Is there something else with which I can assist you?


the chances of me hot footing it over to Mumbai to smash you in the kisser is remote.
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Re: I'm Happy to Be of Service!

Postby 2dimes on Fri Jan 20, 2012 1:43 pm

Pedronicus wrote:
saxitoxin wrote:
Pedronicus wrote:Is this Raj of the Bombay Call Centre Raj?


For the safety of our staff and customers, we are not permitted to disclose our geographic location. Is there something else with which I can assist you?


the chances of me hot footing it over to Mumbai to smash you in the kisser AGAIN is remote.

Yeah, pretty slim I'd imagine.
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Re: I'm Happy to Be of Service!

Postby saxitoxin on Fri Jan 20, 2012 1:44 pm

Pedronicus wrote:
saxitoxin wrote:
Pedronicus wrote:Is this Raj of the Bombay Call Centre Raj?


For the safety of our staff and customers, we are not permitted to disclose our geographic location. Is there something else with which I can assist you?


the chances of me hot footing it over to Mumbai to smash you in the kisser is remote.


If you are dissatisfied with the level of service you are receiving I can transfer you to a Supervisor.
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Re: I'm Happy to Be of Service!

Postby Pedronicus on Fri Jan 20, 2012 1:47 pm

saxitoxin wrote:
Pedronicus wrote:
saxitoxin wrote:
Pedronicus wrote:Is this Raj of the Bombay Call Centre Raj?


For the safety of our staff and customers, we are not permitted to disclose our geographic location. Is there something else with which I can assist you?


the chances of me hot footing it over to Mumbai to smash you in the kisser is remote.


If you are dissatisfied with the level of service you are receiving I can transfer you to a Supervisor.


No mate, I don't want to talk to your supervisor. I'm just about to walk out the front door for a curry. If you were in Mumbai or Bombay, I was hoping you might be able to offer me some alternatives than the usual Chicken Tikka Jalfrezi my girlfriend always ends up ordering.

thanks
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Re: I'm Happy to Be of Service!

Postby barackattack on Fri Jan 20, 2012 1:49 pm

What's best, potatoes or women?
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Re: I'm Happy to Be of Service!

Postby saxitoxin on Fri Jan 20, 2012 1:50 pm

Pedronicus wrote:
saxitoxin wrote:
Pedronicus wrote:
saxitoxin wrote:
Pedronicus wrote:Is this Raj of the Bombay Call Centre Raj?


For the safety of our staff and customers, we are not permitted to disclose our geographic location. Is there something else with which I can assist you?


the chances of me hot footing it over to Mumbai to smash you in the kisser is remote.


If you are dissatisfied with the level of service you are receiving I can transfer you to a Supervisor.


No mate, I don't want to talk to your supervisor. I'm just about to walk out the front door for a curry. If you were in Mumbai or Bombay, I was hoping you might be able to offer me some alternatives than the usual Chicken Tikka Jalfrezi my girlfriend always ends up ordering.

thanks


I am happy to answer your question.

Brazil is one of a few countries that uses both 120 and 240 volts for everyday appliances. Expect the voltage to change back and forth as you travel from one place to the next -- even within the same Brazilian state, sometimes even within the same building. There is no physical difference in the electric outlets (power mains) for the two voltages.

Electric outlets usually accept both flat (North American), and round (European) plugs. Otherwise adaptors from flat blades to round pins are easy to find in any supermarket or hardware shop. Some outlets are too narrow for the German "Schuko" plugs. The best makeshift solution is to buy a T-connection and just force your "Schuko" in, -the T will break, but it will work. Very few outlets have a grounding point, and some might not accept newer North American polarized plugs, where one pin is slightly larger. Near the border with Argentina, you might occasionally find outlets for the Australia/New Zealand-type plug. If crossing the border, you'll probably need this adapter as well.

We are happy this answered your question!

If you would like to take our customer satisfaction survey, please click here:

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/JHB696L
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Re: I'm Happy to Be of Service!

Postby saxitoxin on Fri Jan 20, 2012 1:53 pm

barackattack wrote:What's best, potatoes or women?


Customer service is now closed. Our normal hours are Wednesday, 1PM to 4:00PM Pacific Standard Time, or as available. Please try again later.
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Re: I'm Happy to Be of Service!

Postby natty dread on Fri Jan 20, 2012 3:04 pm

I HAVE STILL NOT RECEIVED MY METTWURST!

I WANT TO SPEAK TO A SUPERVISOR IMMEDIATELY!
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Re: I'm Happy to Be of Service!

Postby Victor Sullivan on Fri Jan 20, 2012 4:18 pm

WHY DO THE CUSTOMER SERVICE OFFICES ALWAYS CONVENIENTLY CLOSE BEFORE THEY CAN ANSWER MY QUESTION?!?!

I'd like to FILE A CLAIM!!! That's all I want!

2947569382910283285458!!!

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Re: I'm Happy to Be of Service!

Postby saxitoxin on Fri Jan 20, 2012 4:34 pm

an Important Message from Jürgen Jaeger, Customer Service Supervisor:

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You spoke, we listened!

After reviewing the latest data from our ongoing customer satisfaction survey, it appears we have some work to do to win back your trust.

    1. How long did you have to wait before Saxi T. began to help you?
    Extremely Long - 55.6% (5 replies)
    Very Long - 0% (0 replies)
    Moderately Long - 0% (0 replies)
    Slightly Long - 0% (0 replies)
    Not Long At All - 44.4% (4 replies)

    2. What was your reason for contacting Saxi T. today?
    Question About a Product or Service - 0.0% (0 replies)
    Life Choice Guidance - 22.2% (2 replies)
    Fantasy Fulfillment - 44.4% (4 replies)
    Complaint - 0.0% (0 replies)
    Other - 33.3% (3 replies)

    3. How many of your issues did Saxi T. resolve?
    All of Them - 44.4% (4 replies)
    Most of Them - 0.0% (0 replies)
    About Half of Them - 0.0% (0 replies)
    Some of Them - 0.0% (0 replies)
    None of Them - 55.6% (5 replies)

Therefore, effective immediately, I am adding Raj S. as a permanent member of our customer service staff (welcome, Raj!). This will enable us to reply to your inquiries in a faster, more time-efficient manner.

If you have a complex inquiry, Raj has been empowered to elevate you to Tier 2 support. Saxi T. will be managing our Tier 2 efforts.

I am confident these steps we have taken will help re-demonstrate the commitment to quality you have come to expect from us.
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Re: I'm Happy to Be of Service!

Postby Pedronicus on Fri Jan 20, 2012 5:11 pm

Hi Jürgen

f*ck me sideways, I thought Saxi offered a shit service, but ever since they outsourced this service to some bunch of fucktard Indians, they've managed the impossible and gotten even worse.

I tried to start a conversation down the curry house with one of the waiters about the dual voltage situation in Brazil, but he didn't seem interested one iota. Can we move the call centre back to where it was?
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Re: I'm Happy to Be of Service!

Postby nietzsche on Fri Jan 20, 2012 5:35 pm

Hey Raj T, is Saxi T hot?

Is she slutty?
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Re: I'm Happy to Be of Service!

Postby Victor Sullivan on Fri Jan 20, 2012 6:39 pm

Can I appeal to Tier 3 support?

-Sully
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Re: I'm Happy to Be of Service!

Postby luns101 on Fri Jan 20, 2012 9:55 pm

Are the Mike Ditka chia pets still in stock? I didn't see one displayed anymore on page 12 of the catalog. Discontinued?
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Re: I'm Happy to Be of Service!

Postby john9blue on Fri Jan 20, 2012 10:52 pm

luns101 wrote:Mike Ditka chia pets


how are you not a millionaire?
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Re: I'm Happy to Be of Service!

Postby notyou2 on Sat Jan 21, 2012 1:36 am

Please help. My pet squirrel monkey ate my stash and I am in desperate need. Would it be better if I pureed him and injected him, or perhaps I should bake him until all the vapour is gone, crush him, and roll him?

Please respond quickly.
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Re: I'm Happy to Be of Service!

Postby Pedronicus on Sat Jan 21, 2012 9:12 am

notyou2 wrote:Please help. My pet squirrel monkey ate my stash and I am in desperate need. Would it be better if I pureed him and injected him, or perhaps I should bake him until all the vapour is gone, crush him, and roll him?

Please respond quickly.


inb4 more bizarre Brazilian dual voltage facts.

It would appear the numpty call centre is still closed. I'll help you out because it looks like you needed a quick response.

Video the Monkey freaking out and send it off to one of those programmes that offer some money for funny clips. be sure to leave some stuff around for the monkey to pick up, like a huge dildo with flashing lights, a red hot frying pan, a banana in a glass bottle or a mains powered electric drill with a sanding disc attachment.

then take the cash and by some more ganja.
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Re: I'm Happy to Be of Service!

Postby notyou2 on Sat Jan 21, 2012 10:29 am

He escaped. I think he went to get something to eat.
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Re: I'm Happy to Be of Service!

Postby natty dread on Sat Jan 21, 2012 1:42 pm

notyou2 wrote:He escaped. I think he went to get something to eat.


Probably went to eat my mettwurst, the bastard.
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