Conquer Club

Stupid Fucking Birds

\\OFF-TOPIC// conversations about everything that has nothing to do with Conquer Club.

Moderator: Community Team

Forum rules
Please read the Community Guidelines before posting.

Stupid Fucking Birds

Postby nietzsche on Thu Jun 20, 2013 1:41 pm

Every day I drive 80 miles and almost everyday I run over a kamikazee bird. The other day 3 died only in the morning.

What the f*ck? I'm don't drive that fast, 70mph. They fucking get into the middle of the road and wait until I'm 5 meters from them to start flying and of course some have to die. Others actually get in the middle of the way when I'm almost there, they are playing I think or they're are fucking suicidal.

I can't stand it I feel bad every time. What should I do?

This kind of birds:
Image
el cartoncito mas triste del mundo
User avatar
General nietzsche
 
Posts: 4597
Joined: Sun Feb 11, 2007 1:29 am
Location: Fantasy Cooperstown

Re: Stupid Fucking Birds

Postby KoolBak on Thu Jun 20, 2013 2:41 pm

Make tacos?
"Gypsy told my fortune...she said that nothin showed...."

Neil Young....Like An Inca

AND:
riskllama wrote:Koolbak wins this thread.
User avatar
Cadet KoolBak
 
Posts: 7407
Joined: Fri Feb 03, 2006 1:03 pm
Location: The beautiful Pacific Northwest

Re: Stupid Fucking Birds

Postby waauw on Thu Jun 20, 2013 2:44 pm

maybe you should try and bind a scarecrow on your car
User avatar
Lieutenant waauw
 
Posts: 4756
Joined: Fri Mar 13, 2009 1:46 pm

Re: Stupid Fucking Birds

Postby Timminz on Thu Jun 20, 2013 3:01 pm

Stop caring so much.
User avatar
Captain Timminz
 
Posts: 5579
Joined: Tue Feb 27, 2007 1:05 pm
Location: At the store

Re: Stupid Fucking Birds

Postby Gillipig on Thu Jun 20, 2013 3:07 pm

You couldn't save their lives Nietzsche! It wasn't your fault!!
AoG for President of the World!!
I promise he will put George W. Bush to shame!
User avatar
Lieutenant Gillipig
 
Posts: 3565
Joined: Fri Jan 09, 2009 1:24 pm

Re: Stupid Fucking Birds

Postby Funkyterrance on Thu Jun 20, 2013 3:17 pm

I think that's some kind of sparrow. I know they make these whistle things that you can attach to the hood of your car to scare away some animals but I'm not sure if it would work on birds:

Image

It's worth a shot, they seem pretty cheap.
Image
User avatar
Colonel Funkyterrance
 
Posts: 2494
Joined: Wed Jan 19, 2011 10:52 pm
Location: New Hampshire, USA

Re: Stupid Fucking Birds

Postby Gillipig on Thu Jun 20, 2013 3:21 pm

Funkyterrance wrote:I think that's some kind of sparrow. I know they make these whistle things that you can attach to the hood of your car to scare away some animals but I'm not sure if it would work on birds:

Image

It's worth a shot, they seem pretty cheap.

That was a thread kill attempt if I've ever seen one. Are you trying to kill the thread or are you just that boring by nature?
AoG for President of the World!!
I promise he will put George W. Bush to shame!
User avatar
Lieutenant Gillipig
 
Posts: 3565
Joined: Fri Jan 09, 2009 1:24 pm

Re: Stupid Fucking Birds

Postby Funkyterrance on Thu Jun 20, 2013 3:46 pm

I just like birds.
If one sparrow is saved I won't feel bad about killing this thread. Sorry guys...
Image
User avatar
Colonel Funkyterrance
 
Posts: 2494
Joined: Wed Jan 19, 2011 10:52 pm
Location: New Hampshire, USA

Re: Stupid Fucking Birds

Postby AndyDufresne on Thu Jun 20, 2013 3:54 pm

FT FTW


--Andy
User avatar
Corporal 1st Class AndyDufresne
 
Posts: 24935
Joined: Fri Mar 03, 2006 8:22 pm
Location: A Banana Palm in Zihuatanejo

Re: Stupid Fucking Birds

Postby nietzsche on Thu Jun 20, 2013 4:55 pm

COuld it be that the aerodynamics of this car pulls them more than other cars? Because I don't see many other birds dead on the road.. and i see them on the mirror roll on the pavement after i hit them.

Unless birds have little flying hearses..
el cartoncito mas triste del mundo
User avatar
General nietzsche
 
Posts: 4597
Joined: Sun Feb 11, 2007 1:29 am
Location: Fantasy Cooperstown

Re: Stupid Fucking Birds

Postby BigBallinStalin on Thu Jun 20, 2013 5:37 pm

nietzsche wrote:Every day I drive 80 miles and almost everyday I run over a kamikazee bird. The other day 3 died only in the morning.

What the f*ck? I'm don't drive that fast, 70mph. They fucking get into the middle of the road and wait until I'm 5 meters from them to start flying and of course some have to die. Others actually get in the middle of the way when I'm almost there, they are playing I think or they're are fucking suicidal.

I can't stand it I feel bad every time. What should I do?

This kind of birds:
Image


Oh, sparrows.

They're bastards. They destroy birds' eggs, which is why they're so prevalent in urban areas. They're basically nimble, flying rats, so feel free to kill as many as possible.

OH NO! A conundrum for animal rightists! Sparrows endanger other bird species, but they don't want to kill sparrows! They'll have to trap millions of them and then... dump them in another city!
User avatar
Major BigBallinStalin
 
Posts: 5151
Joined: Sun Oct 26, 2008 10:23 pm
Location: crying into the dregs of an empty bottle of own-brand scotch on the toilet having a dump in Dagenham

Re: Stupid Fucking Birds

Postby Serbia on Thu Jun 20, 2013 6:46 pm

KoolBak wrote:Make tacos?

LMAO
Timminz wrote:Stop caring so much.

Essentially, yup.
Gillipig wrote:
Funkyterrance wrote:Boring actual answer attempting to help IN A DEAD BIRD THREAD

That was a thread kill attempt if I've ever seen one. Are you trying to kill the thread or are you just that boring by nature?

I cannot believe that I'm in total agreement with Gillipig on this one. BRAVO, G.PIG!

Bollocks.
CONFUSED? YOU'LL KNOW WHEN YOU'RE RIPE
saxitoxin wrote:Serbia is a RUDE DUDE
may not be a PRUDE, but he's gotta 'TUDE
might not be LEWD, but he's gonna get BOOED
RUDE
User avatar
Captain Serbia
 
Posts: 12280
Joined: Sun Jan 14, 2007 10:10 pm
Location: Detroit

Re: Stupid Fucking Birds

Postby Funkyterrance on Thu Jun 20, 2013 8:59 pm

BigBallinStalin wrote:They destroy birds' eggs, which is why they're so prevalent in urban areas.

I don't see the urban areas/destroying other birds' eggs connection? Why would this help them more in urban areas than in any other area?
Image
User avatar
Colonel Funkyterrance
 
Posts: 2494
Joined: Wed Jan 19, 2011 10:52 pm
Location: New Hampshire, USA

Re: Stupid Fucking Birds

Postby tzor on Thu Jun 20, 2013 9:49 pm

Look, be thankful that you are not crashing into pelicans at 70 MPH. Especially the windshield on the driver's side.

(Hmmm, I think my calculations indicate a 100% fatality rate in this scenario.)
Image
User avatar
Cadet tzor
 
Posts: 4076
Joined: Thu Feb 22, 2007 9:43 pm
Location: Long Island, NY, USA

Re: Stupid Fucking Birds

Postby BigBallinStalin on Fri Jun 21, 2013 5:43 am

Funkyterrance wrote:
BigBallinStalin wrote:They destroy birds' eggs, which is why they're so prevalent in urban areas.

I don't see the urban areas/destroying other birds' eggs connection? Why would this help them more in urban areas than in any other area?


I don't have enough frequent observations of the countryside to claim that they're prevalent in both urban and country areas.
User avatar
Major BigBallinStalin
 
Posts: 5151
Joined: Sun Oct 26, 2008 10:23 pm
Location: crying into the dregs of an empty bottle of own-brand scotch on the toilet having a dump in Dagenham

Re: Stupid Fucking Birds

Postby TeeGee on Fri Jun 21, 2013 8:39 am

Tie a cat to the front of the car, birds are scared of cats and they will fly in the opposite direction
Image

catstevens: you are now an honorary American TG...Congrats
User avatar
Captain TeeGee
Multi Hunter
Multi Hunter
 
Posts: 7177
Joined: Sat Nov 11, 2006 5:07 pm
Location: Somewhere on Planet Earth for now

Re: Stupid Fucking Birds

Postby jonesthecurl on Fri Jun 21, 2013 8:47 am

And even if they don't it's one less cat to worry about.
instagram.com/garethjohnjoneswrites
User avatar
Sergeant 1st Class jonesthecurl
 
Posts: 4616
Joined: Sun Mar 16, 2008 9:42 am
Location: disused action figure warehouse


Return to Acceptable Content

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users