Conquer Club

Recently I have been thinking about how the NFL basically sucked since 1950 and it keeps getting more popular. To cheer up this doomy downerpants, reddit came to the rescue:

http://www.grantland.com/blog/the-triangle/post/_/id/80696/introducing-the-nba-regular-season-championship-belt

Now I hate the hell out of basketball.
-I think the net should either be higher or lower to negate the fact that only freaks-of-nature can play.
-It`s the most racist thing since plantations. Blacks are 5% of the US population but make up 80% of the final 4. And yet, without tenure you* aren`t even allowed to research black genetics in North America???? WTF is wrong with this country.
-Every basketball game is decided in the final few minutes.
-All the plays look the same. All the players look the same. They have crappy style and crappy taste in music. The entire culture sucks.
-Watching basketball at any point in the game is like watching hockey during a powerplay, but without the tension. In a hockey powerplay, all the players get into fairly static formations, and the offense passes the puck around a bunch to hopefully score. The tension comes because powerplays don`t come around very often (about 7 per game) and the best teams are still only going to score a quarter of the time. In NBA the players all run to one spot except the tension is gone because they are going to score 90% of the time, and this is the entire game.
-Similar to NHL, the season drags on waaaay too long.

However, this new championship belt gives that little extra something which counteracts all that. I only get 4 or 5 NBA games per week with my cable package. If one of them happens to be a championship game, I may just turn it on now. Of course, the real reason I like this is because hockey has the same season structure.

So, bring on the NHL Championship Belt.

TSN (the CAN version of ESPN) didn`t even cover the 76ers championship game tonight. It wasn`t on the highlight reels, it wasn`t one of the quick summarized games, I didn`t even see the score come up.

Colorado got a ton of press, but for all the wrong reasons. Hasn`t the newsmedia realized that everyone from East of the Ribbentrop line is a sex offender, convicted or otherwise? It would be news if the Avs goalie DIDNT kidnap his girlfriend and beat her periodically.

*assuming you, the reader, is not black

I support belt wearing in the NBA as a form of a handicap system. The better you do, the heavier the belt you have to wear.

This is awesome.

Bollocks.

Red Rover should be an Olympic event.

Anarkistsdream wrote:Red Rover should be an Olympic event.

Tag too. We already have ribbon twirling when wrestling was nearly cut out.

Speaking of Belts....



HEY KOOLBAK!

At the end of the first quarter, the 76ers (who have already had an unlikely run as both division leaders AND World Champions) were behind to the Bulls.
At the end of the first half, the 76ers were behind.
At the end of the third, the 76ers were behind.
At the end of the game, the 76ers won by THREE!

This is the stuff legendary championship runs are based on.

Now I am watching the Avs title defense.

Sidebet: how long before either ESPN or TSN picks up on this story and talks about it on their flagship station? I say at least a year.

DoomYoshi wrote:Sidebet: how long before either ESPN or TSN picks up on this story and talks about it on their flagship station? I say at least a year.

Grantland is affiliated with ESPN. It'll be this season.

Bollocks.

The current consensus is that the NHL belt should follow from the original NHL stanley cup and be calculated from there. That means the NHL championship is actually held by New York Islanders, not Colorado. Tonight went from a no-sports night to a sports night. Good show.


https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0AhDf3rb4WWt-dHlVLXNMVHhuR0FMOE9nLVBwMmhxYUE&usp=sharing#gid=0

The Belt thing is too silly for the NBA, this isn't boxing.
A good pro basketball handicap would be magnetic shoes
with a steel substrate court to play on.

oVo wrote:The Belt thing is too silly for the NBA, this isn't boxing.
A good pro basketball handicap would be magnetic shoes
with a steel substrate court to play on.

That is a frigging cool idea... That way, you could also make them play UPSIDE DOWN!

Anarkistsdream wrote:

oVo wrote:The Belt thing is too silly for the NBA, this isn't boxing.
A good pro basketball handicap would be magnetic shoes
with a steel substrate court to play on.

That is a frigging cool idea... That way, you could also make them play UPSIDE DOWN!

that was the officials could run along the floor and players on the ceiling...they would never get trampled again...and they could pick up the ball when it inevitably fell to the floor..also make a shot would be way more cool looking as u would have to bounce it of the floor to make a hoop when u play on the ceiling

Ohhhh....and levitation shoes for the really bad players.

Tonight, the Golden State Warriors visit the Timberwolves to decide who gets the belt. This is an interesting matchup. The Timby-Pimbys are slight home faves, but it could either way.

Tomorrow, the Caps put their belt on the line against the Wild at home. This will probably be the Caps first defense after an exciting game against the Islanders.

Right now the Spurs are doing their first title defense. The Caps lost last night to Phoenix. Maybe the championship belt will fill seats in Phoenix?

If the 76ers would have won last night, they would have gone down as legends.

Instead, tomorrow the wizards get another shot at Championship gold.

The surprising Coyotes face off against the ever-steady Blues.

After this weekend, the West-East divide has become more pronounced. Bettman is laughing at all the realignment naysayers who thought it would be easier for Western teams to make the playoffs since there are less of them. If Tampa was in the west, they would tie for the last playoff spot! Yikes.

It's a good thing Manifest destiny came to be, and Russia didn't colonize more of the West.

Phoenix Coyotes had an epic match against St Louis, but managed to keep the belt. The challenges don't stop for them, as now they have to fight against Chi-town, tonight at 8.

The Spurs also defended their belt again! Tommorow Utah gets a chance.

The wizards have joined the Bulls as the only teams to have had 2 shots at the belt and never won it. The 76ers also had 2 shots, but were able to capitalize, and hold a 60% win rate in Championship games.

basketball update
Right now, the Spurs are on break until Wednesday. It's a good time to look back on some of their stats.

2000: 2 wins, 3 losses (tied for 12th with TOR)
2001: 14 wins, 3 losses (1st place) this year included a 13 game streak
2002: 10 wins, 4 losses (3rd place) 2 streaks of 4 *also won the insignificant playoff championship
2003: 8 wins, 5 losses (5th place)
2004: 2 wins, 2 losses (7th place) *also won the insignificant playoff championship
2005: 11 wins, 5 losses (4th place)
2006: 6 wins, 3 losses (tied for 4th with CLE) *also won the insignificant playoff championship
2007: 7 wins, 3 losses (4th)
2008: 0 games [this was a crazy year, there were streaks of 5, 17, 4, 7, 12, 5 and 6]
2009: 8 wins, 6 losses (8th)
2010: 1 loss
2011: 2 wins, 2 losses
2012:1 wins, 3 losses
2013 (so far): 5 wins, no losses

apart from a burp in 2004, this is seeming more like their old team, the one that one 4 championships in 8 years.

LONGEST STREAKS OF THE MODERN ERA
BOS 17 in 08/09
SAS 13 in 01/02
UTA 12 in 08/09
HOU 11 in 07/08
BOS 11 in 10/11
DET 10 in 05/06
PHX 10 in 06/07

hky update
phoenix lost to chicago, who then lost the belt to nashville

tonight, the detroit red wings get a shot.

This isn't a battle of two former rivals who now only see each other twice a year. This isn't about two struggling teams. This may be the most important game these two teams are in this year.

I am praying that the preds win in oT to increase the DET streak to OT 6, and then the Leafs get a shot at the belt.

in other news, i am super happy that the leafs got rid of scrivens.

this thread is basically my blog.

So, the Leafs are in their most important matchup of the year and guess what. it's not on tv unless you want to buy leafs tv. f*ck you maple leafs, if i didn't bleed blue i would hate you more than the jets right now. oh well, i still have a working radio and i caught the whole game. we lost. i cried. is nashville keeping the belt this year's cinderalla story? i think it is

the spurs aLSO retained. tonight's game will be epic. if you had a mini-movie (wrestling-style) promo of the matchup it would feature:
the grizzlies getting to the western finals with san antonio last year; san antonio losing the nba champ belt; the grizzlies rough start to the year [have the spurs ruined them?????]; the spurs coming back dominant in the new season; the spurs winning the belt; the grizzlies getting back into form; the spurs dominating all comers; the grizzlies getting their title-belt shot; the spurs looking unstoppable; grizzlies; spurs; revenge; grizzlies; spurs .... tONIGHT!

yea, its that kinda game

San antonio retained and the Rangers won the belt. Is this going to turn their year around? I think so, considering the Belt is the most noble prize in the NHL. It makes the lady bung look like a black eye.

obviously today is football day in america

but there is still an OKC game. They took the belt from SAS, which is having an amazing season; this is oKC's best start since they were the supersonics. they are facing a GSW which is also having a great season, although they are 3-4 since the last time these two teams met. SA originally got the belt from GSW, so this is a standard 3-way rasslin storyline.

To keep everyone updated:

OKC still holds the belt. They only won by 2 points tonight in Sacramento, and they are on the road again in Portland, who are 7-1 at home. Both teams only have 3 losses, but the Trail Blazers are up by 2 wins. This will be the best game in basketball tomorrow period. I am also super excited since it is being nationally broadcast in Canada, so I don't need to listen on the radio. OKC has the longest win streak in the league right now with 8 (the knicks L9 streak is longer) but Portland is also winning a lot of games. Either way, tune in for some good basketball (even if you only catch the last 10 mins, it will be worth it).

show: Bonus Preview

Onto the NHL where the Penguins defended against the Islanders in overtime. They are going to face the sharks who are on a 6-game winning streak where they have also won against the leafs (penguins first game of the streak, but not for the title), lightning (who the Pens won the title from), Devils and 3 western teams (although all at home, still a big feat). The Penguins are handily atop the Terripolitan, but the Sharks are a mere 2 points ahead of the Ducks, with the lowly Canucks as close to the Sharks as the 2nd-place Capitals are to the Penguins.

side note: i was reading an article about the Van vs NYR game, and they quoted John Tortorella about the Canucks and Alain Vigneault about the Rangers and i thought they switched the coaches names. Then I found out they switched coaches. Bizarre.

my bonus preview wasn't even a game, since the arena burned down. mexico is so funny. the main game was fun though. portland took the belt.

Sorry I've been slacking. Monday night had a great game where the clippers took the belt from the spurs. last night was a game between the canucks and wild, who stole the belt. tonight the pelicans fight for one belt and they probably won't win. without anthony davis they have been struggling. The clippers hope to extend their streak to 3 games, and their first belt defense.

There aren't many hockey games tonight, although the Penguins-Rangers will be good. Tomorrow the Penguins get a shot at the NHL belt, so it will be interesting to see how they deal with the back-to-back games against middling opposition.