Conquer Club

Is it okay to show your appreciation with a nice card or box of homemade cookies, or do those greedy little bastards get upset unless you give them cold, hard cash? How about a heartfelt poem written for that specific waiter or barman?

Do you have to tip the people in Starbucks and the guy who dry cleans your suit? What about shop clerks?

What always got me when I used to work in the food business was the pressure to tip the server but not the cooks. We're slaving away in fucking 90+ degree heat with hot oil and pans and shit, and the guy who who carries your food to the table and sits around in the air conditioned front of the house gets the tip. Like oh my god, grabbing a salt shaker is so damn worthy of a 15% tip. What an ass-backwards system.

Not that I think tipping should be compulsory, but I definitely don't think servers are the ones who should be getting them.

-TG

You all know what the difference between a waiter/waitress and a toilet seat is?








A toilet seat only has to deal with one asshole at a time.

When I was a cab driver, I usually insisted on cold, hard cash, although depending on the circumstances it is usually (not always) acceptable to substitute drugs, alcohol, or fellatio.

Sometimes people do give oddball things like cookies or cleaning supplies. Those are usually fine, as long as they really are tips -- that is to say, in addition to the fare, rather than instead of the fare. It gets annoying when people have no cash to pay the fare, and they treat the driver like an emergency pawn shop, trying to get across town for a dime bag of shitty homegrown or their wedding ring.

(You would think the driver would be happy with a wedding ring for a $10 fare. If he's sure it's real gold, I suppose he would be, but many career alcoholics carry fake wedding rings that are like 99 cent costume jewelry, precisely so they can spend 100% of their money at the bar and use the "wedding ring" for the ride home. Furthermore, even if it is real, the driver may have a real hassle selling it. He doesn't have a pawnbroker license and can actually get arrested for doing someone a favour this way.)

One driver I knew got a vacuum cleaner for a fare. He drove around with that thing for almost a month before he finally found someone to buy it.

But as long as at really is a tip, and not just a fare substitute, a vacuum cleaner would probably be quite nice.

I thought this thread was going to be about cow tipping.

Dukasaur wrote:When I was a cab driver, I usually insisted on cold, hard cash, although depending on the circumstances it is usually (not always) acceptable to substitute drugs, alcohol, or fellatio.

Sometimes people do give oddball things like cookies or cleaning supplies. Those are usually fine, as long as they really are tips -- that is to say, in addition to the fare, rather than instead of the fare. It gets annoying when people have no cash to pay the fare, and they treat the driver like an emergency pawn shop, trying to get across town for a dime bag of shitty homegrown or their wedding ring.

(You would think the driver would be happy with a wedding ring for a $10 fare. If he's sure it's real gold, I suppose he would be, but many career alcoholics carry fake wedding rings that are like 99 cent costume jewelry, precisely so they can spend 100% of their money at the bar and use the "wedding ring" for the ride home. Furthermore, even if it is real, the driver may have a real hassle selling it. He doesn't have a pawnbroker license and can actually get arrested for doing someone a favour this way.)

One driver I knew got a vacuum cleaner for a fare. He drove around with that thing for almost a month before he finally found someone to buy it.

But as long as at really is a tip, and not just a fare substitute, a vacuum cleaner would probably be quite nice.

One time when I was working retail I had a guy who ran a bill of almost a hundred bucks. He whips out this baggie of weed and asked me if he could use that as tender. I told him 1) you aren't fooling me with your tiny baggie of shitty, stem-ridden weed that's not worth near $100, and 2) there's a fucking camera above my register, dipshit. Not that I'd have been opposed if the worth was actually something I could trade off and not being recorded on CCTV.

But yeah, people use to try and barter their weed all the time.

Good times.

-TG

InkL0sed wrote:I thought this thread was going to be about cow tipping.

It should be.

TA1LGUNN3R wrote:What always got me when I used to work in the food business was the pressure to tip the server but not the cooks. We're slaving away in fucking 90+ degree heat with hot oil and pans and shit, and the guy who who carries your food to the table and sits around in the air conditioned front of the house gets the tip. Like oh my god, grabbing a salt shaker is so damn worthy of a 15% tip. What an ass-backwards system.

Not that I think tipping should be compulsory, but I definitely don't think servers are the ones who should be getting them.

-TG

my X always volunteered a certain % to the cook

Good on her. She's smart, too. The one or two girls who tipped the cooks always got their stuff pronto.

-TG

Good restaurants expect servers to share tips with the kitchen, and do spot checks to ensure compliance.

Restaurants that don't give a shit about their kitchen staff deserve to have the whole kitchen walk out without warning in the middle of Friday-evening service.

Restaurants around here all pool the tip money and share it on a percentage with the staff.....typically, however, the cooks receive a smaller percentage because they are better PAID....servers get min wage....cooks are a skilled trade and get paid what the market will bear but definately more than the waitstaff who DO have to deal with the pompous asses that invariably come in....

It cracks me up when you order food to go from a restaurant.....walk in, get it, pay with a card and the person hands you the slip to sign with the TIP area and bottom line empty, obviously begging for a tip but they havent done a fucking thing.....one lady actually ASKED me for one and I replied her tip was my choice to eat from her damn place....she got snotty so I kindly told her to stuff her damn food and left.....never been back there. For good service I'l do 15-20%.....for shitty service I'll do 5% and thats worse it seems than none at all

I've worked in the catering industry before.

The UK is obviously different to the US for a number of reasons - one being that the minimum wage for waiting staff is the same as in every industry. Thus, tips aren't such a big deal. I, for one, would love a heartfelt poem and/or vacuum cleaner. *hint* nietzsche *hint*

Bonus: in my experience, tips are pooled and shared with kitchen staff too.

I tip based on height weight proportions. If they are a cow, I don't tip. I never understood this cow tipping phenomena. Tip the skinnies, not the phatties.

notyou2 wrote:I tip based on height weight proportions. If they are a cow, I don't tip. I never understood this cow tipping phenomena. Tip the skinnies, not the phatties.

You're obviously a chauvinist pig, so it's no surprise that you don't like cows...

I've always hated the shit social acceptance of tipping. If service is average, why should I tip? Restaurants should be forced to pay at least minimum wage and tipping should be reserved for legitimately good service.

Also, I've worked 4 shit customer service jobs where tipping was hardly considered. Why is the restaurant business different?

Phatscotty wrote:

TA1LGUNN3R wrote:What always got me when I used to work in the food business was the pressure to tip the server but not the cooks. We're slaving away in fucking 90+ degree heat with hot oil and pans and shit, and the guy who who carries your food to the table and sits around in the air conditioned front of the house gets the tip. Like oh my god, grabbing a salt shaker is so damn worthy of a 15% tip. What an ass-backwards system.

Not that I think tipping should be compulsory, but I definitely don't think servers are the ones who should be getting them.

-TG

my X always volunteered a certain % to the cook

Sorry to read that your engagement is off. *HUGS*

I tip my barber.


--Andy

I barber my tip.

ManBungalow wrote:I've worked in the catering industry before.

The UK is obviously different to the US for a number of reasons - one being that the minimum wage for waiting staff is the same as in every industry. Thus, tips aren't such a big deal. I, for one, would love a heartfelt poem and/or vacuum cleaner. *hint* nietzsche *hint*

Bonus: in my experience, tips are pooled and shared with kitchen staff too.

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
My dick is all red
thinking of you

TA1LGUNN3R wrote:What always got me when I used to work in the food business was the pressure to tip the server but not the cooks. We're slaving away in fucking 90+ degree heat with hot oil and pans and shit, and the guy who who carries your food to the table and sits around in the air conditioned front of the house gets the tip. Like oh my god, grabbing a salt shaker is so damn worthy of a 15% tip. What an ass-backwards system.

Not that I think tipping should be compulsory, but I definitely don't think servers are the ones who should be getting them.

-TG

all my jobs have been in hotels and obviously tips are an important part in this line of work. heck, even when i became a manager i still made tips

anyway, in all the hotels i've worked with, all the kitchen staff gets a share of the tips. it ranges from one place to another but they're never forgotten. sure they don't split it evenly, the waiter always gets more, but a waiter also has a much lower wage than a cook.

weirdest tips i've been offered are:
1. 3 slices of salami and a half eaten roll.
2. blowjob from an old german dude
3. sex + a bottle of red wine from a decent looking french woman slightly older than me.

PS: i've politely refused all 3.

I like tipping, but I'm usually convinced to use the whole thing.

nietzsche wrote:I barber my tip.

I love Chaplin.




--Andy

DiM wrote:

TA1LGUNN3R wrote:What always got me when I used to work in the food business was the pressure to tip the server but not the cooks. We're slaving away in fucking 90+ degree heat with hot oil and pans and shit, and the guy who who carries your food to the table and sits around in the air conditioned front of the house gets the tip. Like oh my god, grabbing a salt shaker is so damn worthy of a 15% tip. What an ass-backwards system.

Not that I think tipping should be compulsory, but I definitely don't think servers are the ones who should be getting them.

-TG

all my jobs have been in hotels and obviously tips are an important part in this line of work. heck, even when i became a manager i still made tips

anyway, in all the hotels i've worked with, all the kitchen staff gets a share of the tips. it ranges from one place to another but they're never forgotten. sure they don't split it evenly, the waiter always gets more, but a waiter also has a much lower wage than a cook.

weirdest tips i've been offered are:
1. 3 slices of salami and a half eaten roll.
2. blowjob from an old german dude
3. sex + a bottle of red wine from a decent looking french woman slightly older than me.

PS: i've politely refused all 3.

WAIT!@!! Hold on a sec..........


















They have hotels in Romania?

psssst....the frenchie was his aunt.....