Conquer Club

When is it considered abuse? I used to get the living crap whipped out of me when I did something wrong, but I was older than four years old (unlike Adrian Peterson's little boy). How do you gauge "abuse"? Is the photo above considered "abuse"? It's tasteless, but is it "abuse"?

You've never heard of LARP?

The mom has hairy arms. But looks kind of cute too.


I'm torn

If a scene like that is shown in a movie or on TV, is it child abuse1?

How is that different? I assume it was for a joke or as Duk says a game, or something similar.

It is disturbing.

DaGip, you obviously don't have kids.

shickingbrits wrote:DaGip, you obviously don't have kids.

1/10 would not read again

What is child abuse? Ask the countless young Korean and Chinese girls who were forced into sexual slavery at the hands of the Japanese Empire.

mrswdk wrote:What is child abuse? Ask the countless young Korean and Chinese girls who were forced into sexual slavery at the hands of the Japanese Empire.

That's obvious, but when it comes to punishing your child...when is it considered "crossing the line"? Is any form of physical punishment considered abuse? Or is it only when one leaves some type of marking?

Did Adrian Peterson go too far? I would say he did, but I have heard others say that they think what he did was right. I know that punching and choking your kid is abuse, but when it comes to "spanking" how do you gauge what is abuse? Isn't any form of spanking abuse? Isn't just the thought of being spanked a form of abuse?

DaGip wrote:

mrswdk wrote:What is child abuse? Ask the countless young Korean and Chinese girls who were forced into sexual slavery at the hands of the Japanese Empire.

That's obvious, but when it comes to punishing your child...when is it considered "crossing the line"? Is any form of physical punishment considered abuse? Or is it only when one leaves some type of marking?

Did Adrian Peterson go too far? I would say he did, but I have heard others say that they think what he did was right. I know that punching and choking your kid is abuse, but when it comes to "spanking" how do you gauge what is abuse? Isn't any form of spanking abuse? Isn't just the thought of being spanked a form of abuse?

According to some article I skimmed a week ago, corporal punishment reduces a kid's cognitive capacity. That sounds abusive, regardless of one's intentions when hitting their kid. Of course, if there's abuse, it doesn't follow that the state gets own your kids. There should be a more neighborly way of handling this.

DaGip, how often do you spank your kids? How often do you spank yourself? Have you found your cognitive abilities increase or decrease throughout the years?

BigBallinStalin wrote:

DaGip wrote:

mrswdk wrote:What is child abuse? Ask the countless young Korean and Chinese girls who were forced into sexual slavery at the hands of the Japanese Empire.

That's obvious, but when it comes to punishing your child...when is it considered "crossing the line"? Is any form of physical punishment considered abuse? Or is it only when one leaves some type of marking?

Did Adrian Peterson go too far? I would say he did, but I have heard others say that they think what he did was right. I know that punching and choking your kid is abuse, but when it comes to "spanking" how do you gauge what is abuse? Isn't any form of spanking abuse? Isn't just the thought of being spanked a form of abuse?

According to some article I skimmed a week ago, corporal punishment reduces a kid's cognitive capacity. That sounds abusive, regardless of one's intentions when hitting their kid. Of course, if there's abuse, it doesn't follow that the state gets own your kids. There should be a more neighborly way of handling this.

DaGip, how often do you spank your kids? How often do you spank yourself? Have you found your cognitive abilities increase or decrease throughout the years?

If you could find the article, please post it. I would be interested in reading about it.

I am not for hitting children. I don't think that that is the best form of punishment for kids, but I grew up with spankings and "the belt". I am not going to hold it against my dad or mom for spanking me, and as far as my cognitive ability goes--I did okay in high school and I got a 4.0 or better in college.

To answer your question about whether I spanked my kid...yes I did. I was very young, and never been a parent before...I just thought spanking is what you did. Would I spank my kid now? It's hard to say, I wouldn't want to; but it depends on what they did...and how old they were.

But like I said, it's hard for me to place judgement on being corporal punished when I don't believe it really affected me in any physical or emotional way:

Nice pic!

It was probably one of these, but not likely. 3-minute Google search is all I got for ya, buddy!

http://psychcentral.com/news/2011/07/27 ... 28087.html
http://www.nospank.net/straus3.htm
http://www.cnn.com/2014/07/23/health/ef ... ing-brain/

The middle one looks like bullshit (no peer-review process).
The cnn one writes about harsh punishment, which is kinda OT.

http://www.aboutkidshealth.ca/en/news/n ... gence.aspx
This one looks more useful.

Phatscotty wrote:According to some article I skimmed a week ago, corporal punishment reduces a kid's cognitive capacity. That sounds abusive, regardless of one's intentions when hitting their kid. Of course, if there's abuse, it doesn't follow that the state gets own your kids. There should be a more neighborly way of handling this.

DaGip, how often do you spank your kids? How often do you spank yourself? Have you found your cognitive abilities increase or decrease throughout the years?

So you would substitute the government telling you what to do for fellow citizens telling you what to do?

lol, nice name change. I'd like to go into detail, but since you can't tell distinguish among various exchanges, there's no good reason why I should address your question.

Edit: seemed funnier when I was blind drunk

BigBallinStalin wrote:Nice pic!

It was probably one of these, but not likely. 3-minute Google search is all I got for ya, buddy!

http://psychcentral.com/news/2011/07/27 ... 28087.html
http://www.nospank.net/straus3.htm
http://www.cnn.com/2014/07/23/health/ef ... ing-brain/

The middle one looks like bullshit (no peer-review process).
The cnn one writes about harsh punishment, which is kinda OT.

http://www.aboutkidshealth.ca/en/news/n ... gence.aspx
This one looks more useful.

The fourth one is from a Canadian website. Everyone knows that Canadians are far too liberal, so that one should be immediately discarded.

I was spanked growing up. I did not spank my children. Everyone is fine, but I think my kids could have used some corporal punishment growing up.

DaGip wrote:

When is it considered abuse? I used to get the living crap whipped out of me when I did something wrong, but I was older than four years old (unlike Adrian Peterson's little boy). How do you gauge "abuse"? Is the photo above considered "abuse"? It's tasteless, but is it "abuse"?

It's an "Open carrycot" policy.

DaGip wrote:

BigBallinStalin wrote:

DaGip wrote:

mrswdk wrote:What is child abuse? Ask the countless young Korean and Chinese girls who were forced into sexual slavery at the hands of the Japanese Empire.

That's obvious, but when it comes to punishing your child...when is it considered "crossing the line"? Is any form of physical punishment considered abuse? Or is it only when one leaves some type of marking?

Did Adrian Peterson go too far? I would say he did, but I have heard others say that they think what he did was right. I know that punching and choking your kid is abuse, but when it comes to "spanking" how do you gauge what is abuse? Isn't any form of spanking abuse? Isn't just the thought of being spanked a form of abuse?

According to some article I skimmed a week ago, corporal punishment reduces a kid's cognitive capacity. That sounds abusive, regardless of one's intentions when hitting their kid. Of course, if there's abuse, it doesn't follow that the state gets own your kids. There should be a more neighborly way of handling this.

DaGip, how often do you spank your kids? How often do you spank yourself? Have you found your cognitive abilities increase or decrease throughout the years?

If you could find the article, please post it. I would be interested in reading about it.

I, too, would like to read that article.

One thing that strikes me is you don't always want "high cognitive ability" in all situations. I did not want or need my 5 year old to debate or contemplate when I said "STOP!" or some similarly urgent command. On the other hand, when we were doing science, whether outdoors or inside, I gave little specific information. I would use (proper) names of things casually, but the focus was on exploring and investigating. I did not tell the kids "Oaks have rough bark and birch trees are smooth", I might ask them "is that birch different from the oak?" What happens if we break this small branch (the birch smells like rootbeer).. etc.

I remember a lot of early articles declaring that childcare made kids more aggressive. The truth was that kids with other kids will push and shove.. until they relatively quickly learn that they cannot do that and still have other kids want to play with them.

I am not for hitting children. I don't think that that is the best form of punishment for kids, but I grew up with spankings and "the belt". I am not going to hold it against my dad or mom for spanking me, and as far as my cognitive ability goes--I did okay in high school and I got a 4.0 or better in college.

I have lived and associated with people who fall all along the spectrum on the spanking issue, as well as being involved with professional childcare for a time. Few issues divide people more than this, but the irony is that the research is only really conclusive in the extremes. I don't think it takes a genius to figure that leaving scars, breaking a kids bones is wrong. For all the research about negative impacts of things like spanking, the absolute WORST think you can do is to no discipline your child at all. Too many parents, today, do that.. and then society winds up "disciplining" them in very, very negative ways.

One reason this HAS to stay a fairly private and individual matter is just that kids vary so much. I have one son who, with ADHD, who I wound up spanking more than I liked because it seemed a lot less tortuous, as well as more effective than "time outs". (Getting him to do even a short time out mean I had to physically hold him.. not effective). Time outs worked well for my other son. As a further contrast, I had to be very, VERY careful how I even talked to another child I watched (the same age as my youngest), because she would break into tears at even the slightest hint at criticism. (yes she was basically abused at another location, but I worked with her for about 2 years until I felt she was ready for a more standard day care)

I was once told that black in the south (southerners in particular, but especially blacks) tended to whip their kids because they wanted to do it themselves rather than have someone else do it... as in, if the kids did not learn the rules of society very early, they would be lynched or beaten for real by adults. Context matters a LOT in discipline! If your child is going to be killed, or worse, by not obeying the rules, then you will use a lot more serious measures than otherwise. The biggest problem today is that people seem to somehow forget that life has real world consequences.

Today, some kids definitely do still face that kind of physical threat, though its more often stuff like drugs. I am not suggesting that spanking is the answer, though I do think decent discipline of a variety of types is the answer.