Conquer Club

Posted: **Wed Nov 12, 2014 12:54 am**

Forget about etiquette, it's not practical.

Posted: **Wed Nov 12, 2014 1:57 am**

nietzsche wrote:Forget about etiquette, it's not practical.

Yeah, x-amount of Americans do this, just as x-amount of y-citizens from many countries do the same or something else which falls short of your standard of etiquette.

Thanks, nietz. Let's lump this thread into a Giant Thread called: the Dumb Shit Thread.

Posted: **Wed Nov 12, 2014 2:12 am**

Why is all Western food just ingredients on a plate? Like, meat and some vegetables all just cooked separately then put on a plate side by side. Or it is just things inside bread. It is very simple, and not very appealing. I don't understand why they would not cook something more complex and tasty.

Posted: **Wed Nov 12, 2014 2:14 am**

But it's not x-amount, it' a lot of them!

I don't think I ever saw an American hold the fork properly. And don't get me talking about fort and knife, I think I once saw an American trying to cut a steak holding it with it's right hand, while the fork was stuck in his nostrils.

On the contrary, even the most stupid Mexicans know how to hold a fork properly, that is when the meal is not a taco.

Posted: **Wed Nov 12, 2014 6:04 am**

The only reason I hold my fork with a fist is in case there is a nuclear war and I happen to be eating, I can just kill myself through the eye socket.

Posted: **Wed Nov 12, 2014 8:20 am**

mrswdk wrote:Why is all Western food just ingredients on a plate? Like, meat and some vegetables all just cooked separately then put on a plate side by side. Or it is just things inside bread. It is very simple, and not very appealing. I don't understand why they would not cook something more complex and tasty.

Missin' yer bangers an mash are we?

Posted: **Wed Nov 12, 2014 11:19 am**

i stick forks in my urethra

Posted: **Wed Nov 12, 2014 11:28 am**

ok this leads me to a question:

A) you are right handed
I suppose you hold your fork with your right hand. What do you do when you cut meat, do you keep your fork in your right hand or do you swap in order to hold the knife with your right hand?

B) you are left handed
why don't you kill yourself?

i personally never swap. My fork will stay forever in my right hand even when I use my knife to cut. 90% of right handed swap... and look at me shocked as if I was a freakin left handed when I cut.

Posted: **Wed Nov 12, 2014 11:39 am**

mrswdk wrote:Why is all Western food just ingredients on a plate? Like, meat and some vegetables all just cooked separately then put on a plate side by side. Or it is just things inside bread. It is very simple, and not very appealing. I don't understand why they would not cook something more complex and tasty.

Never heard of casseroles or stews?

-TG

Posted: **Wed Nov 12, 2014 2:57 pm**

TA1LGUNN3R wrote:
mrswdk wrote:Why is all Western food just ingredients on a plate? Like, meat and some vegetables all just cooked separately then put on a plate side by side. Or it is just things inside bread. It is very simple, and not very appealing. I don't understand why they would not cook something more complex and tasty.

Never heard of casseroles or stews?

-TG

Or PIZZA!!!!!!

Posted: **Wed Nov 12, 2014 3:50 pm**

TA1LGUNN3R wrote:
mrswdk wrote:Why is all Western food just ingredients on a plate? Like, meat and some vegetables all just cooked separately then put on a plate side by side. Or it is just things inside bread. It is very simple, and not very appealing. I don't understand why they would not cook something more complex and tasty.

Never heard of casseroles or stews?

-TG

The Chinese invented those. Try again!

Posted: **Wed Nov 12, 2014 4:29 pm**

BigBallinStalin wrote:
TA1LGUNN3R wrote:
mrswdk wrote:Why is all Western food just ingredients on a plate? Like, meat and some vegetables all just cooked separately then put on a plate side by side. Or it is just things inside bread. It is very simple, and not very appealing. I don't understand why they would not cook something more complex and tasty.

Never heard of casseroles or stews?

-TG

The Chinese invented those. Try again!

Posted: **Wed Nov 12, 2014 6:04 pm**

Never seen anyone hold silverware in a fist...hmmmm. I and everyone (Americans) I've eaten with use the pen-grip...Perhaps burrito-boy knows more Americans than I....?

Europeans I've eaten with hold the fork upside down however (inverted-pen?).

Posted: **Wed Nov 12, 2014 6:12 pm**

KoolBak wrote:Never seen anyone hold silverware in a fist...hmmmm. I and everyone (Americans) I've eaten with use the pen-grip...Perhaps burrito-boy knows more Americans than I....?

Europeans I've eaten with hold the fork upside down however (inverted-pen?).

What do you mean by upside down? My fork's pits will look towards the plate if i m pinching stuff in the plate, and will look upwards if i m gathering stuff in the plate.

In other news, my question was a real question. Do you guys swap the fork from one hand to the other when you cut meat or not?

Posted: **Wed Nov 12, 2014 6:24 pm**

TA1LGUNN3R wrote:
BigBallinStalin wrote:
TA1LGUNN3R wrote:
mrswdk wrote:Why is all Western food just ingredients on a plate? Like, meat and some vegetables all just cooked separately then put on a plate side by side. Or it is just things inside bread. It is very simple, and not very appealing. I don't understand why they would not cook something more complex and tasty.

Never heard of casseroles or stews?

-TG

The Chinese invented those. Try again!

Posted: **Wed Nov 12, 2014 6:30 pm**

I'm right handed, and I use my fork in my left hand, knife in the right. Why? So I can knife motherfuckers who mess* with me while I eat.

Bollocks.

*"Mess" can refer to, but is not limited to: talk to, look at, annoy, be in the same room as, be in the same state as, breathe, talk funny, talk, be relatively alive, look funny, look not hot, exist, forget to offer me a drink, offer me a drink I don't want, ask to try my food, chew with their mouth open, chew, be human, etc.

Posted: **Wed Nov 12, 2014 6:54 pm**

notyou2 wrote:
TA1LGUNN3R wrote:
mrswdk wrote:Why is all Western food just ingredients on a plate? Like, meat and some vegetables all just cooked separately then put on a plate side by side. Or it is just things inside bread. It is very simple, and not very appealing. I don't understand why they would not cook something more complex and tasty.

Never heard of casseroles or stews?

-TG

Or PIZZA!!!!!!

Pizza was invented after Marco Polo tried to recreate pancakes he had eaten in China, so pizza is also Chinese. Look it up.

Posted: **Wed Nov 12, 2014 7:06 pm**

Serbia wrote:I'm right handed, and I use my fork in my left hand, knife in the right. Why? So I can knife motherfuckers who mess* with me while I eat.

Bollocks.

*"Mess" can refer to, but is not limited to: talk to, look at, annoy, be in the same room as, be in the same state as, breathe, talk funny, talk, be relatively alive, look funny, look not hot, exist, forget to offer me a drink, offer me a drink I don't want, ask to try my food, chew with their mouth open, chew, be human, etc.

well you just do like most people do. It's absolutely impossible to cut meat for me, as a right handed, with the fork on the left knife on the right. I did notice that some right handed people have the same "problem". Although technically it's way easier no to have to swap cutelry each time you have to cut a chunk of meat, you impractical bastard.

Posted: **Wed Nov 12, 2014 7:14 pm**

BigBallinStalin wrote:
nietzsche wrote:Forget about etiquette, it's not practical.

Yeah, x-amount of Americans do this, just as x-amount of y-citizens from many countries do the same or something else which falls short of your standard of etiquette.

Thanks, nietz. Let's lump this thread into a Giant Thread called: the Dumb Shit Thread.

+1

Posted: **Wed Nov 12, 2014 7:17 pm**

I have no idea about etiquette really. I was just taught that way and that's how I do it. When it's time to cut the steak you switch the fork to the left hand and use the knife with the right hand. And you only cut up to two pieces, you don't cut the whole steak at one time. I also don't put the elbows on the table. Don't talk while food is in the mouth, don't make noises while sipping soup etc.

But that's not what I mean, I mean it's not practical!!!

And Koolbak you're not fooling me, I know you hold the fork with a fist, and also double dip.

Posted: **Wed Nov 12, 2014 7:18 pm**

betiko wrote:
KoolBak wrote:Never seen anyone hold silverware in a fist...hmmmm. I and everyone (Americans) I've eaten with use the pen-grip...Perhaps burrito-boy knows more Americans than I....?

Europeans I've eaten with hold the fork upside down however (inverted-pen?).

What do you mean by upside down? My fork's pits will look towards the plate if i m pinching stuff in the plate, and will look upwards if i m gathering stuff in the plate.

In other news, my question was a real question. Do you guys swap the fork from one hand to the other when you cut meat or not?

most don't.. but proper etiquette is to use the fork in left hand, knife in right hand, and then switch fork to the right hand to eat...

Posted: **Wed Nov 12, 2014 7:22 pm**

betiko wrote:
Serbia wrote:I'm right handed, and I use my fork in my left hand, knife in the right. Why? So I can knife motherfuckers who mess* with me while I eat.

Bollocks.

*"Mess" can refer to, but is not limited to: talk to, look at, annoy, be in the same room as, be in the same state as, breathe, talk funny, talk, be relatively alive, look funny, look not hot, exist, forget to offer me a drink, offer me a drink I don't want, ask to try my food, chew with their mouth open, chew, be human, etc.

well you just do like most people do. It's absolutely impossible to cut meat for me, as a right handed, with the fork on the left knife on the right. I did notice that some right handed people have the same "problem". Although technically it's way easier no to have to swap cutelry each time you have to cut a chunk of meat, you impractical bastard.

You do realize that I said I cut meat, as a right handed, with the fork in my left hand, knife in the right. Right?? I don't swap hands.

Bollocks.

Posted: **Wed Nov 12, 2014 7:25 pm**

rhp 1 wrote:
betiko wrote:
KoolBak wrote:Never seen anyone hold silverware in a fist...hmmmm. I and everyone (Americans) I've eaten with use the pen-grip...Perhaps burrito-boy knows more Americans than I....?

Europeans I've eaten with hold the fork upside down however (inverted-pen?).

What do you mean by upside down? My fork's pits will look towards the plate if i m pinching stuff in the plate, and will look upwards if i m gathering stuff in the plate.

In other news, my question was a real question. Do you guys swap the fork from one hand to the other when you cut meat or not?

most don't.. but proper etiquette is to use the fork in left hand, knife in right hand, and then switch fork to the right hand to eat...

yes I agree it's proper etiquette, but I just physically can't. Just as I could hold a tennis racket with my left hand. And are you sure the majority don't swap hands in america?
In france it's really extremely rare not to swap.

Posted: **Wed Nov 12, 2014 7:28 pm**

Serbia wrote:
betiko wrote:
Serbia wrote:I'm right handed, and I use my fork in my left hand, knife in the right. Why? So I can knife motherfuckers who mess* with me while I eat.

Bollocks.

*"Mess" can refer to, but is not limited to: talk to, look at, annoy, be in the same room as, be in the same state as, breathe, talk funny, talk, be relatively alive, look funny, look not hot, exist, forget to offer me a drink, offer me a drink I don't want, ask to try my food, chew with their mouth open, chew, be human, etc.

well you just do like most people do. It's absolutely impossible to cut meat for me, as a right handed, with the fork on the left knife on the right. I did notice that some right handed people have the same "problem". Although technically it's way easier no to have to swap cutelry each time you have to cut a chunk of meat, you impractical bastard.

You do realize that I said I cut meat, as a right handed, with the fork in my left hand, knife in the right. Right?? I don't swap hands.

Bollocks.

???? i said that I CAN'T cut that way. The fork is ALWAYS in the right hand for me.
If you don't swap and the fork is in the left hand all the time, sorry to say buddy but you are not right handed by the way! :lol:

Posted: **Wed Nov 12, 2014 7:30 pm**

Pretty sure proper etiquette is fork in the left hand, knife in the right hand, never swap.

Conquer Club

Why Americans hold the fork with a fist?

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