Congrats to US and China on Climate Change

Thankfully unspeakable global devastation has been averted by an unprecedented unilateral deal via Obama and Xi.
Within a few short years I expect wonderful progress updates:
President to Xi: You guys upholding your side of that deal?
Xi: It has been hard. This year we were expecting a decrease in CO2 emissions, so we burned a few billion tires and are still peaking. How about for you Jeb?
President: Well, there was some opposition from my core constituents, but they only make up 0.01% of the population, so we had that to work around. We've been pissing off the rest of our guys, but that is part of the Bush promise to pass on the presidency to the democrats. It's looking good.
The media is sending out glowing messages of the non-deal, reinforcing the idea of climate change, an unbridgeable political synthesis, the president's ability to go it alone and that other countries should get on board. What they don't talk about is the impact of the deal, which is basically none.
The US is to reduce emissions by 25% from 2005 levels. Half of this has already been achieved. China is to attain a peak in emissions by 2030, and then reduce its energy from fossil fuels by 20%, by which time their thorium program should be producing at least as much.
"Historic: Peace Cats and Mice"
Cat pledged not to eat mouse if he can't find it. Mouse was not present.
Climate Change headline 1999, "Irrevocable Worldwide Catastrophe Unless Immediate Drastic Change"
Climate Changist: In three moves, you'll be in checkmate.
2005 headline, "Global CO2 Emissions See Sharp Increase"
Opponent: Check.
Climate Changist: Good move. As soon as I'm out of check, three moves and you lose.
2014 headline, "IPCC: We Must Stop Emitting NOW"
Opponent: Check.
Climate Changist: You can dance around checking me if you want, but I've calculated your defeat.
2030 headline, "China Peaks"
Opponent: Checkmate.
Nonsense deal= "breakthrough", nonsense reporting= "global consensus", nonsense predictions= "wasn't mine". Record heat, climate changist, "Global Warming". Record cold, climate changist, "Don't you know the difference between climate and weather?"
And we don't give a shit. They could tell us anything they want, they being politicians, media, scientific bodies. People have lost the ability to put things into context. They have gained the ability to double think. The government gains the most off of oil: whereas the oil companies actually need to do something like extract, transport and purify, the government just taxes. This very same government who is gaining the most for the least off of fossil fuels, then tells you its the evil oil companies who are creating the mess. The media is then willing to publish contradictory reports, often beside each other, not link them or even act as if the other exists and direct their audience with both to whatever ends they intended with them.
Some folks don't know they should hang up on telemarketers, some don't know that the "news" is just the official government marketing team.
Where is the 97% or whatever consensus now, when they can actually use the tools they've learned to inform the public of the actuality of the deal and its impact based on their predictions? They are busy heralding it.
There's a bright shiny light and they named it "Truth". It burned everyone who approached it, and all that everyone debated was whether they should get burned by approaching it from the left or right. Leave the light alone.
Within a few short years I expect wonderful progress updates:
President to Xi: You guys upholding your side of that deal?
Xi: It has been hard. This year we were expecting a decrease in CO2 emissions, so we burned a few billion tires and are still peaking. How about for you Jeb?
President: Well, there was some opposition from my core constituents, but they only make up 0.01% of the population, so we had that to work around. We've been pissing off the rest of our guys, but that is part of the Bush promise to pass on the presidency to the democrats. It's looking good.
The media is sending out glowing messages of the non-deal, reinforcing the idea of climate change, an unbridgeable political synthesis, the president's ability to go it alone and that other countries should get on board. What they don't talk about is the impact of the deal, which is basically none.
The US is to reduce emissions by 25% from 2005 levels. Half of this has already been achieved. China is to attain a peak in emissions by 2030, and then reduce its energy from fossil fuels by 20%, by which time their thorium program should be producing at least as much.
"Historic: Peace Cats and Mice"
Cat pledged not to eat mouse if he can't find it. Mouse was not present.
Climate Change headline 1999, "Irrevocable Worldwide Catastrophe Unless Immediate Drastic Change"
Climate Changist: In three moves, you'll be in checkmate.
2005 headline, "Global CO2 Emissions See Sharp Increase"
Opponent: Check.
Climate Changist: Good move. As soon as I'm out of check, three moves and you lose.
2014 headline, "IPCC: We Must Stop Emitting NOW"
Opponent: Check.
Climate Changist: You can dance around checking me if you want, but I've calculated your defeat.
2030 headline, "China Peaks"
Opponent: Checkmate.
Nonsense deal= "breakthrough", nonsense reporting= "global consensus", nonsense predictions= "wasn't mine". Record heat, climate changist, "Global Warming". Record cold, climate changist, "Don't you know the difference between climate and weather?"
And we don't give a shit. They could tell us anything they want, they being politicians, media, scientific bodies. People have lost the ability to put things into context. They have gained the ability to double think. The government gains the most off of oil: whereas the oil companies actually need to do something like extract, transport and purify, the government just taxes. This very same government who is gaining the most for the least off of fossil fuels, then tells you its the evil oil companies who are creating the mess. The media is then willing to publish contradictory reports, often beside each other, not link them or even act as if the other exists and direct their audience with both to whatever ends they intended with them.
Some folks don't know they should hang up on telemarketers, some don't know that the "news" is just the official government marketing team.
Where is the 97% or whatever consensus now, when they can actually use the tools they've learned to inform the public of the actuality of the deal and its impact based on their predictions? They are busy heralding it.
There's a bright shiny light and they named it "Truth". It burned everyone who approached it, and all that everyone debated was whether they should get burned by approaching it from the left or right. Leave the light alone.