Conquer Club

Just in case any is planning on going to Hawaii and frolicking in the salty tub of death:

Shark kills woman in Hawaii; sightings prompt warnings in SoCal
http://www.foxnews.com/us/2015/04/30/sh ... -closures/

It doesn't matter how many times I shout from the rooftops that there are fish in the ocean that will fucking eat you, they still go in there.

WTF?

I don't know how many times I have to tell people about all the animals on the land that will EAT YOU, yet they still go there!

I don't know how many times I shout out about all the girls on Division St. that will EAT YOU, but guys still go there!

Dukasaur wrote:I don't know how many times I shout out about all the girls on Division St. that will EAT YOU, but guys still go there!

Division St. .... Biloxi?

7 billion people on the earth, a couple of them will get eaten by something sooner or later.

That was on maui, dork

Kauai is where all the haoles drown....

On the verge of busy holiday travel season, the island of Kauai continues to battle record number of tourist drownings

We've actually seen one body wash to shore....pretty horrible....

I make it a point to never get more than 20 feet from the cooler

KoolBak wrote:That was on maui, dork

Kauai is where all the haoles drown....

On the verge of busy holiday travel season, the island of Kauai continues to battle record number of tourist drownings

We've actually seen one body wash to shore....pretty horrible....

I make it a point to never get more than 20 feet from the cooler

Many tourists die in Hawaii from all types of different shit, some by drowning others by falling and some by hiking where they should have never went to begin with.

The point to be made here is that if you are going to be a tourist, you need to try to inform yourself as much as possible about the dangers in the area that you are visiting.

On Oahu there is a natural blowhole formed on the reef. When a wave comes in, it enters a cave system under the reef and the water is pushed up through a hole up above. A geyser-like blast of water shoots high into the air. Well, that being said a young father and his little daughter decided to walk out to the blowhole and the mother would take a picture of them when the water shot up behind them. Not knowing how much force all the water has when it comes out turned out to be a fatal decision on the father's part. Both him and his daughter were easily slammed to the reef and washed out to sea all while the terrified mother watched in horror!

The mistake I almost made on Kauai was when I was cruisin' with this old drunken local. He had a pet cane spider inside his old Ambassador automobile that was filled with cans of Keystone Light. Anyway, we were both cruisin' and I had to take a piss. Gary the Drunken Local pulled over and I got out. I started to walk down into the ditch and Gary said,"Hold it, Brah! Don't go too far into dat ditch dare!"

I said,"How come?"

He responded that the jungle growth from below blends into the grass of the ditch. I looked at the ditch and I couldn't tell that there was even a jungle down below...it just look like a ditch. I took a long stick and poked a few feet away from my feet and the stick passed right through the "grass" of the ditch and revealed a hole in the canopy of the jungle. If I wasn't with Gary The Drunken Local, I would have just walked off the road and fell about a hundred feet!

If you are a tourist and want to hike around, just make sure you get yourself a guide.

Of course, I don't know how much a guide can do if you drown swimming...but more than likely those people that drown swimming had no experience with the ocean and just thought they could swim anywhere, or the ocean was too rough and they went swimming anyway.

This will be my 35th trip to Kauai.... been repeatedly to every beach and have hiked extensively.... like you, I have had real surprises in the wilds.... flash floods have been the real mind blower.... just amazingly wild topography in the interior and up north, and the weather is SO volatile..... Your point is totally on spot.

KoolBak wrote:This will be my 35th trip to Kauai.... been repeatedly to every beach and have hiked extensively.... like you, I have had real surprises in the wilds.... flash floods have been the real mind blower.... just amazingly wild topography in the interior and up north, and the weather is SO volatile..... Your point is totally on spot.

I used to camp close by the Waimea River. Never thought anything about it. Then when I moved back to South Dakota there was a virtual tidal wave that washed campers out to the ocean! It stemmed from a dam in the hills that somebody didn't maintain. I thought to myself,"Shit! That could have easily been me washed out to sea! f*ck!"

Also, I learned not to set up camp on the beach at night. Why? Because anywhere that you see sand tells you how far the ocean may come in. I didn't know this at the time and in the middle of the night I woke up to the sound of ocean waves that sounded really close. I opened up my tent and the waves were literally no more than three feet away from my front door! I broke up camp real quick and headed for higher ground. I didn't know there was a storm brewing off the coast and the waves were getting stirred up at night. That was the last time I ever camped out on a beach.

But even if you camp up where there is grass, you still aren't safe!

I awoke one evening to a strange sound. It was a heavy, flopping sound. I thought perhaps it was a drunk local setting up a tent or something and I didn't pay it any mind. Then...I heard something flop down right beside my tent and it bumped my tent a little bit. My back was right up against it! Then I heard a large, breathy, guttural sigh!

I opened up the door of my tent to peek out and see what the heck was going on.



I had to sleep with a fucking thousand pound monk seal all night! It snored horribly, but I didn't want to disturb it. In the morning I just got away from it and hoped it was gone when I got back from hiking.

Was this some time ago? See those cool monks frequently but as they are protected / endangered, the agencies show up within MINUTES anywhere on the navigable portion of the island and cordon them off....this started about 15 or so years ago.

Did you hike Kalalau? Wild up there.....

The real problem these last 15 years or so, and getting progressively worse, are the damn wild pigs....destructive, dangerous and damn hard to kill - feds promote their killing....open season 24/7...damn good eating. This one dude I know has the fences lining his 300 foot driveway completely lined with skulls....bizarre....

KoolBak wrote:Was this some time ago? See those cool monks frequently but as they are protected / endangered, the agencies show up within MINUTES anywhere on the navigable portion of the island and cordon them off....this started about 15 or so years ago.

Did you hike Kalalau? Wild up there.....

The real problem these last 15 years or so, and getting progressively worse, are the damn wild pigs....destructive, dangerous and damn hard to kill - feds promote their killing....open season 24/7...damn good eating. This one dude I know has the fences lining his 300 foot driveway completely lined with skulls....bizarre....

It was back in 2003. Conservation/NOAA or whoever would only show up during the day...they had no control at night. Actually, if I remember right, when Monk seals came ashore at the Salt Ponds--the lifeguard on duty would have to cordon the area so humans couldn't be within 100 feet or so, but I always saw stupid tourists sneak through the barrier to touch a resting seal and grab a cheap photo. That's another thing the tourists don't understand is that if a thousand pound seal wanted to have its way with you, he would probably tear your arm out of its socket!

I hiked Kalalau with some Japanese Buddhist Nuns (I don't know if that's what you call them, but that's what I called them). Only one of them could speak English and they invited me to go to the canyon with them, so I did. It was gorgeous! Just like the Grand Canyon!

I got stuck on Napali because the stupid bus system quit running at 5pm and I didn't make it to the bus stop until about 6pm. So I was stranded on North Shore without my gear! Just my didjeridoo.

I tried sleeping on the beach, but every fifteen minutes (like clockwork) you could watch rainclouds forming just off the shore and then the rain would swoop in for a brief, but heavy down pour. I could set my watch to it, I was quite fascinated by the weather system on North Shore.

Then as I was watching the clouds form at night by the light of a fullmoon, something on the coast caught my eye.

It was in the direction of the wet caves that I could see what looked like balls of fire (that's as close as I could describe it) They looked like campfires that were moving, and I just thought it was party goers by the caves. Then, I noticed a yellowish-orange glow just perhaps one or two hundred feet away from me. I thought that that was perhaps someone lighting a fire on the beach, but the more I observed the fiery "thing", the more I could make out it's form.

It stood like a Hawaiian dressed in orange and red flowered or feathered cape and headdress (would that be a chief or Kahuna?)

The man just stood there and stared off towards the incoming rain showers. I couldn't believe my eyes! This man was glowing like a fire!



This image is the closest I could find to my experience, but the man didn't have a spear or a torch or a stupid looking gourd head. He just looked like a Hawaiian man who was glowing with a yellowish-orange glow and he didn't move an inch and never looked at me...he just stared out at the ocean waiting for the next set of rain clouds to come into shore.

I thought about walking over to him, but I was actually kind of scared so I left the beach and went back into town (I don't remember the name of that town, but it is the one at the end of the bus line on the North Shore).

My sister-in-law who lives on Oahu also had a similar experience. My brother asked me if I had any "strange" experiences on the road in Hawaii, and I didn't want to talk about it. But, he encouraged me to tell him anyway...and then he told me of his wife's experience.

Hanalei is that last little town before the end of the road...very hippy historically, more trendy now....spent a lot of time puka picking at Ke'e...gnarly surf there; I dont go in the water...lol.

Wick is a lifeguard at Hanalei BTW...

Cool story of possibly King Kameamea dude ;o)

Last note, my last name is Kane (irish origins but in Hawaiin tongue its pronounced Kah-nay) and means Man...all the dudes bathrooms say Kane; when I was little my dad told me he had them put our name on all the bathrooms on the island just for me....lol.

KoolBak wrote:Wick is a lifeguard at Hanalei BTW...

Yeah, I met Wick...he was the one that had to put out the monk seal barriers! LOL! He was a real cool gent, and really buff.

KoolBak wrote:Cool story of possibly King Kameamea dude ;o)

I don't know who that was, but Jenevie on iVlog TV told me it was a Night Marcher. She said it was bad news to see them coming out of the hills and onto the beach at night, and I was right to runaway.

KoolBak wrote:Last note, my last name is Kane (irish origins but in Hawaiin tongue its pronounced Kah-nay) and means Man...all the dudes bathrooms say Kane; when I was little my dad told me he had them put our name on all the bathrooms on the island just for me....lol.

LOL! I remember going into a public restroom when I first got into Kauai. I had to pee real bad, but when I opened the restroom door, someone had drawn Hawaiian pictographs on the wall using their own feces!

I just kept walking until I found a church I could sneak behind and relieve myself. That was in Hanapepe.

what a great memory of the garden isle....lol

We see ol Wick every time we go....the wimmen all look forward to it (the bastard!)....lol. He's proud daddy twice now; be so damn hard raising a family there with the cost of living so freaking high....gotta give it up to him....have one pic I posted in our forum years ago with him pretending to be passed out on the couch in our condo with shitloads of empties piled around him; his wife was so impressed; at that time he was a cop

A couple of the coolest things I've done are tubing down 5 miles of those canals that were hand carved / built by chinese slave labor thru the mountains to irrigate cane fields; like a dozen tunnels included and thru the deepest jungle...really cool. Here's someone elses video

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AR7w-HR_aD0

Theres a bitch of a hike that traverses some tunnels too

http://great-hikes.com/blog/kaapoko-tunnel-hike-part-2/

(Thanks Mikey for making the thread....lol)

Dude! I wish I would have tubed the canals! In Arizona we used to tube down the river, and then I would play didjeridoo! Imagine going through one of those tunnels and hearing me play a didj!

On the Big Island I played didj inside the lava tubes. It attracted college girls that were interning at the volcano survey. That's where I learned that if you have a car (any car! nice or shitty!) you could pick up young college girls at the volcano park! Because they are literally trapped up there and are yearning to get out of there from time to time. However, I did not have a car...immediately put me on the 'not cool' list. LOL!

oh man...classic...

..that would be awesome tuneage in a half mile 5' tunnel.....have a diji a bud brought me back from Oz but can't use it for shit

KoolBak wrote::lol: oh man...classic...

..that would be awesome tuneage in a half mile 5' tunnel.....have a diji a bud brought me back from Oz but can't use it for shit

Here...let DaGip help:

Damn.....very cool.....

Lemme see if I have this right. Man is eating everything on the planet, sharks included, yet one shark eats one human, and you all lose it.

"You all"...? I call it attrition

beware of hodads.