Conquer Club

Comcast: King of the Trolls - A Short Novella Written by zsp

Zack calls Dumb Local Comcast Guy on 07/06/15. Dumb Local Comcast Guy tells Zack the promotions he has running. Zack chooses promotion. Zack asks questions about the different DTAs (Digital Television Adapters) for second TV. Dumb Local Comcast Guy constantly interrupts Zack every time he talks and says there is no such thing as different DTAs. Zack currently has 2 different types of DTA's currently in his apartment that he used in previous apartment. Zack illustrates what they look like and explains their differences. Dumb Local Comcast Guy interrupts and states he has been an employee for 5 years and that he would know the equipment Comcast has. Zack gets exasperated and just chooses the equipment Dumb Local Comcast Guy tells him he should take. Dumb Local Comcast Guy asks when a good time would be for Nonexistent Technician to come out to install equipment and gives time slots. Zack picks 3pm-5pm on Wednesday, 07/08/15, and call ends. Dumb Local Comcast Guy later sends an email requesting some personal information for account. Zack responds with answers to said questions, links to separate DTAs proving their existences, and asks a set of questions about the service. Dumb Local Comcast Guy responds that each type of DTA is the same price, thus proving that he is not as knowledgeable as he thinks he is. (Zack paid different prices for different DTAs just a month ago, but this is a conversation for a different day.) Dumb Local Comcast Guy then proceeds to spam Zack's email with 5 separate emails, answering each question that Zack asked in one-lined sentences in separate emails.

Zack wants to kick dumb Local Comcast Guy in the groin.

Dumb Local Comcast Guy sends a confirmation email at 4:30pm 07/07/15 (the following afternoon) that a technician will be coming between 7am-9am the next morning on Wednesday, 07/08/15. Zack frantically schedules to use time at work to have the next morning off to be available for Nonexistent Technician. Zack wakes up early to prepare for Nonexistent Technician's arrival. No one has showed so Zack calls 1-800-COMCAST at 8:45am to inquire if Nonexistent Technician will be coming before 9am. Stupid Call Center Guy asks for account information and then says that he checked the GPS of Nonexistent Technician's truck and saw that he was on the street that Zack resides and that Nonexistent Technician will be there shortly. An hour later, at 9:45am, Nonexistent Technician still had not showed up and Zack calls 1-800-COMCAST again to inquire about Nonexistent Technician's location. Relatively Friendly Comcast Lady asks for account information; Zack responds with info. Relatively Friendly Comcast Lady states that she does not see this address on account nor does she see that an appointment has been scheduled between 7am-9am, but rather outside maintenance was scheduled sometime during the day. Zack asks to speak with Supervisor. Relatively Friendly Comcast lady states that Supervisor is going to say the same thing anyway.

Zack didn't ask for Relatively Friendly Comcast Lady's input at that point.

Zack again asks for a supervisor. Zack is connected with Supervisor who states that she doesn't see that an appointment has ever been scheduled for the morning. Supervisor assures that Different Technician will come by noon. By this time, Zack was supposed to be at work.

Zack calls 1-800-COMCAST at noon since Different Technician never showed. Third Comcast Call Center person states that Supervisor scheduled appointment for tomorrow, 07/09/15 at noon, not today, 07/08/15, at noon.

Zack silently rages.

Zack asks for Different Supervisor. Zack is put on hold for 10 minutes to finally hear that there are no supervisors available and that one would call by 12:30. Call ends. 1pm arrives with no call from Different Supervisor.

Zack is now visualizing Comcast burning down to the ground at this point.

Zack prepares to go to work and leaves at 1:45pm. Zack's cell phone rings at 1:50pm while on his way to work. Different Technician is on the phone stating that he is at the apartment ready to install.

Zack nearly drives into a house in a state of baffled shock.

Zack calls his supervisor and tells her he won't be coming in at all today and returns home.

Zack returns to apartment to see that Different Technician is not there. Zack calls Different Technician to find out that he accidentally went to a different apartment. Finally Different Technician arrives. Now Different Technician is currently installing equipment.

Zack is currently plotting and imaging the worst possible scenarios for poor Different Technician.

*30 minutes later, Different Technician is on a ladder outside Zack’s building right at Zack’s living room window. Zack immediately sees an opportune moment to rid the world of a Comcast employee.

At 6:00 pm, Serbia makes a note to never work for Comcast, and never schedule an appointment with Zack.

Bollocks.

Thanks Zack...thoroughly entertaining....

Can't recall how many of these I've had over the last 25 years. Switched to directv 7 months ago and they STILL havent gotten our plan right

*continues plan to unseat directv*

seriously, what the f*ck is wrong with these people? i've tried every possible attitude towards them, none works, they're a bunch of fucking idiots

zach made me vividly revisit all of my nigthmares with customer service for internet, telephone and sat tv

nietzsche wrote:seriously, what the f*ck is wrong with these people? i've tried every possible attitude towards them, none works, they're a bunch of fucking idiots

zach made me vividly revisit all of my nigthmares with customer service for internet, telephone and sat tv

Complaint made. Thanks to this guy: https://www.reddit.com/r/technology/com ... utives_by/

Let's see how much free shit I can get.

Zack moves to Canadian woods just below treeline to avoid cable, internet and phone companies.

notyou2 wonders why they call them "communication companies" when clearly they are very poor at communicating.

zsp wrote:Comcast: King of the Trolls - A Short Novella Written by zsp

Zack calls Dumb Local Comcast Guy on 07/06/15. Dumb Local Comcast Guy tells Zack the promotions he has running. Zack chooses promotion. Zack asks questions about the different DTAs (Digital Television Adapters) for second TV. Dumb Local Comcast Guy constantly interrupts Zack every time he talks and says there is no such thing as different DTAs. Zack currently has 2 different types of DTA's currently in his apartment that he used in previous apartment. Zack illustrates what they look like and explains their differences. Dumb Local Comcast Guy interrupts and states he has been an employee for 5 years and that he would know the equipment Comcast has. Zack gets exasperated and just chooses the equipment Dumb Local Comcast Guy tells him he should take. Dumb Local Comcast Guy asks when a good time would be for Nonexistent Technician to come out to install equipment and gives time slots. Zack picks 3pm-5pm on Wednesday, 07/08/15, and call ends. Dumb Local Comcast Guy later sends an email requesting some personal information for account. Zack responds with answers to said questions, links to separate DTAs proving their existences, and asks a set of questions about the service. Dumb Local Comcast Guy responds that each type of DTA is the same price, thus proving that he is not as knowledgeable as he thinks he is. (Zack paid different prices for different DTAs just a month ago, but this is a conversation for a different day.) Dumb Local Comcast Guy then proceeds to spam Zack's email with 5 separate emails, answering each question that Zack asked in one-lined sentences in separate emails.

Zack wants to kick dumb Local Comcast Guy in the groin.

Dumb Local Comcast Guy sends a confirmation email at 4:30pm 07/07/15 (the following afternoon) that a technician will be coming between 7am-9am the next morning on Wednesday, 07/08/15. Zack frantically schedules to use time at work to have the next morning off to be available for Nonexistent Technician. Zack wakes up early to prepare for Nonexistent Technician's arrival. No one has showed so Zack calls 1-800-COMCAST at 8:45am to inquire if Nonexistent Technician will be coming before 9am. Stupid Call Center Guy asks for account information and then says that he checked the GPS of Nonexistent Technician's truck and saw that he was on the street that Zack resides and that Nonexistent Technician will be there shortly. An hour later, at 9:45am, Nonexistent Technician still had not showed up and Zack calls 1-800-COMCAST again to inquire about Nonexistent Technician's location. Relatively Friendly Comcast Lady asks for account information; Zack responds with info. Relatively Friendly Comcast Lady states that she does not see this address on account nor does she see that an appointment has been scheduled between 7am-9am, but rather outside maintenance was scheduled sometime during the day. Zack asks to speak with Supervisor. Relatively Friendly Comcast lady states that Supervisor is going to say the same thing anyway.

Zack didn't ask for Relatively Friendly Comcast Lady's input at that point.

Zack again asks for a supervisor. Zack is connected with Supervisor who states that she doesn't see that an appointment has ever been scheduled for the morning. Supervisor assures that Different Technician will come by noon. By this time, Zack was supposed to be at work.

Zack calls 1-800-COMCAST at noon since Different Technician never showed. Third Comcast Call Center person states that Supervisor scheduled appointment for tomorrow, 07/09/15 at noon, not today, 07/08/15, at noon.

Zack silently rages.

Zack asks for Different Supervisor. Zack is put on hold for 10 minutes to finally hear that there are no supervisors available and that one would call by 12:30. Call ends. 1pm arrives with no call from Different Supervisor.

Zack is now visualizing Comcast burning down to the ground at this point.

Zack prepares to go to work and leaves at 1:45pm. Zack's cell phone rings at 1:50pm while on his way to work. Different Technician is on the phone stating that he is at the apartment ready to install.

Zack nearly drives into a house in a state of baffled shock.

Zack calls his supervisor and tells her he won't be coming in at all today and returns home.

Zack returns to apartment to see that Different Technician is not there. Zack calls Different Technician to find out that he accidentally went to a different apartment. Finally Different Technician arrives. Now Different Technician is currently installing equipment.

Zack is currently plotting and imaging the worst possible scenarios for poor Different Technician.

*30 minutes later, Different Technician is on a ladder outside Zack’s building right at Zack’s living room window. Zack immediately sees an opportune moment to rid the world of a Comcast employee.

I might guess 'dumb' guy was just 'new' guy.

If you like I can send you a make it right card. Allow Comcast an attempt to rectify this unfortunate situation. You are welcome to request x number of months free service, free upgrades, or additional services.

Phatscotty wrote:I might guess 'dumb' guy was just 'new' guy.

But...!

zsp wrote:Dumb Local Comcast Guy interrupts and states he has been an employee for 5 years and that he would know the equipment Comcast has.

Clearly he's super tenured and knows everything! 5 years must make you a master at everything. Shouldn't I be #1 on the CC Leaderboard by now...?

Phatscotty wrote:If you like I can send you a make it right card.

Zack is intrigued by said mystery card....

has zack had an out of body experience or does zack always refer to himself in the third zsperson?

khazalid wrote:has zack had an out of body experience or does zack always refer to himself in the third zsperson?

Zack has lived a crazed, nomadic life since the one they call Twill pulled out the infamous Perma-Ban Stick and beat Zack to a pulp with it. Zack has since roamed the Earth, prayed with the Monks in Thailand, smoked with Jamaicans in Kingston, climbed the Great Pyramids of Giza, swung through the Gardens of Babylon, peed on the Statue of Zeus at Olympia. Has Khazalid ever been knocked with such a thing? Perma-Ban Stick knocks the first person out of you. Khazalid's life forever changes.

Idk, the story seemed cooler writing it in the third person.

lol...I miss Twill.....and hims brother Zaw.....

KoolBak wrote:lol...I miss Twill.....and hims brother Zaw.....

Reading this post made me feel drunk.


Bollocks.

I once called Comcast and was put on hold for 30 minutes then hung up on. So a friend and I both called at the same time from our cell phones and were both put on hold for 45 minutes before both being hung up on. So we thought get online and get live tech help. A girl came on and 15 minutes into the conversation she left the chat room. So we got drunk instead of watching TV.

Been there. More than once. Not with cable people, but with cell phone companies. I think secretly they are running a program to find people who will be able to cope with life in Hell, and those of us who pass the test will be sent on a secret mission there.

The worst is that not only do they troll you; not only do you know that they troll you, but you still give them your money....to troll you more in the future.

I've had to unplug my modem, wait 10 seconds, plug back in so many times since I've moved to the new apartment that I'm currently plotting someone from Comcast to fix the problem so I can kick their ass for the sheer enjoyment.

I'll second that.