Conquer Club

Has somebody lost something?

http://metro.co.uk/2017/10/03/dog-walker-finds-intact-penis-and-testicles-on-beach-6972878/

If you have information, or if you know someone with no genital, please contact competent service, or Lord Varis.

The young may be surprised to learn this song was actually a charting hit.
The 20th Century was... different.

Sounds like someone who took a certain Greek mythological story a bit too seriously.

2dimes wrote:Sounds like someone who took a certain Greek mythological story a bit too seriously.

Indeed! a lurid tale of sordid excess and perversion torn straight from the pulpy pages of Wikipedia. Think about this the next time you eat an almond.

According to Pausanias, on one occasion Zeus unwittingly begot by the Earth a superhuman being which was at once man and woman, and was called Agdistis. In other versions, there was a rock, called "Agdo", on which the Great Mother slept. Zeus impregnated the Great Mother (Gaia), which brought forth Agdistis.[3]

The gods were afraid of the multi-gendered Agdistis. One deity (in some versions Liber, in others Dionysus) put a sleeping draught in Agdistis's drinking well. After the potion had put Agdistis to sleep, Dionysus tied Agdistis's foot to his own male genitalia (φαλλός) with a strong rope. When Agdistis awoke and stood, Agdistis ripped his penis off, castrating himself.[3] The blood from his severed genitals fertilized the earth, and from that spot grew an almond tree. Once when Nana, daughter of the river-god Sangarius, was gathering the fruit of this tree, she put some almonds (or, in some accounts, a pomegranate) into her bosom;[3] but here the almonds disappeared, and she became pregnant with Attis.[4] In some versions, Attis was born directly out of the almond.[3]

Attis was of such extraordinary beauty that when he had grown up Agdistis fell in love with him. His relatives, however, destined him to become the husband of the daughter of the king of Pessinus, and he went accordingly. In some versions, the king betroths Attis to his daughter to punish Attis for his incestuous relationship with his mother.[2] At the moment when the marriage song had commenced, Agdistis appeared, and all the wedding guests were instantly driven mad, causing both Attis and the king of Pessinus to castrate themselves and the bride to cut off her breasts. Agdistis now repented her deed, and obtained from Zeus the promise that the body of Attis should not become decomposed or disappear. This is the most popular account of an otherwise mysterious affair, which is probably part of a symbolical worship of the creative powers of nature. A hill of the name of Agdistis in Phrygia, at the foot of which Attis was believed to be buried, is also mentioned by Pausanias.[5]

A story somewhat different is given by Arnobius, in which Attis is beloved by both Agdistis and Cybele.

Wrong.

djelebert wrote:Has somebody lost something?

http://metro.co.uk/2017/10/03/dog-walker-finds-intact-penis-and-testicles-on-beach-6972878/

If you have information, or if you know someone with no genital, please contact competent service, or Lord Varis.

"Male testicles"

Is there another kind? Also, poor guy probably cut them off because they apparently resembled non human genitalia.

It's in Britain, so imma guess they belong to mrs.

-TG

I like how, in the story, they repeatedly refer to it as "intact penis and testicles." If they aren't attached to a body, are they really "intact?"

saxitoxin wrote:I like how, in the story, they repeatedly refer to it as "intact penis and testicles." If they aren't attached to a body, are they really "intact?"

They mean it hasn't been diced or pureed...

Also, this didn't happen:


btw, the mr. swdk theory does make a lot of sense.

Thorthoth wrote:

saxitoxin wrote:I like how, in the story, they repeatedly refer to it as "intact penis and testicles." If they aren't attached to a body, are they really "intact?"

asdfadfadsf

don't talk to me

suxisuxin wrote:

Thorthoth wrote:

suxisuxin wrote:I like how, in the story, they repeatedly refer to it as "intact penis and testicles." If they aren't attached to a body, are they really "intact?"

They mean it hasn't been diced or pureed...

Also, this didn't happen:
(video omitted)

btw, the mr. swdk theory does make a lot of sense.

...but suxi only hears:

suxisuxin wrote: asdfadfadsf

Conclusion: Baits and flames of this type are not welcome in this forum MOD EDIT: (Razorvich)

Remedy: Get an ear-enema, sux. I'm sure swdk or llamsagna can show you how.

I think vegetable lasagne is referring to "ear candles" maybe.
*shrugs*

riskllama wrote:I think vegetable lasagne is referring to "ear candles" maybe.
*shrugs*

Am I? I don't know what you do to clean out your various orifices, llamo.
Tell us more, speak directly into the microphone.