An atheist was seated next to a little girl on an airplane and he turned to her and said, "Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."
The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, "What would you want to talk about?"
"Oh, I don't know," said the atheist. "How about why there is no God, or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after death?" as he smiled smugly.
"Okay," she said. "Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?"
The atheist, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea." To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss God, Heaven and Hell, or life after death, when you don't know shit?"
Re: Forum Funnys :)
Posted: Thu May 16, 2013 9:51 pm
by willedtowin1
Are you guys really so serious......... You cant even send me some kinda funny back and tell me I dont Know Shit? =/
Re: Forum Funnys :)
Posted: Fri May 17, 2013 1:00 pm
by silversun6
the only jokes that make me laugh is black humor , i wont post those here as you will kick me down from the clan leader position
The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman And she was upset.
'You are a disrespectful pig!' she cried. 'How dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you.
I want a divorce right away ! And the husband replied, 'Hang on just a minut...e love, so at least I can tell you what happened.
'Go ahead,' she sobbed,' but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!'
And the husband began -- 'Well, I was getting into the car to drive home, and this young lady here asked me for a lift.
She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car.
I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty.
She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days.
So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight.
The poor thing devoured them in moments.
Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes, so I threw them away.
Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don't wear because you say they are too tight.
I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, whi ch you don't wear because I don't have good taste.
I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't wear just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't wear because someone at work has a pair the same.
'The husband took a quick breath and continued - 'She was so grateful for my understanding and help that as I walked her to the door, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said, 'Please, Do you have Anything else that your wife doesn't use?
That's how we ended up on bed...
Re: Forum Funnys :)
Posted: Wed Jun 05, 2013 1:27 pm
by Auger13
What do you call and Eskimo Lesbian? A Klondike.
Why don't San Francisco Cheerleaders where skirts? When they do, their balls hang out.
Why do Nipples have bumps on them? It's Braile for "Lick Here"
Why isn't there any toilet paper in KFC? Because it's Finger licking' good!
What do you find in a clean nose? Finger prints.
Did you hear about Divorce Barbie? It comes with all of Ken's Shit.
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horse’s ass? A mechanic.
Why do girls fart after they pee? They can't shake, so they blow dry.
What is the difference from Out-Laws and in-laws Out-Laws are wanted.
Why do dogs lick their ass? Because they know, in five minutes they will be licking your face.
How can you tell if your sperm count is high? If a woman has to chew before she swallows.
What's grosser than gross? Having a dream about eating pudding and waking up with a spoon in your ass.
Re: Forum Funnys :)
Posted: Wed Jun 12, 2013 10:14 am
by willedtowin1
DAD: "Ok, so after every question i ask you you must say ketchup and rubber buns".
KID: Gotcha.
DAD: what did you buy at the store?
KID: Ketchup and rubber buns.
DAD: What did you have for dinner?
KID: Ketchup and rubber buns.
DAD: What do you do when an sexy old lady crosses the street?
KID: Ketchup and rub....... HEY!
Re: Forum Funnys :)
Posted: Wed Jun 12, 2013 10:16 am
by willedtowin1
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:
"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."
To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"
Re: Forum Funnys :)
Posted: Wed Jun 12, 2013 2:34 pm
by Auger13
Yo mama's like a refrigerator, everyone puts their meat in her.
Yo mama's like McDonalds... Billions and Billions served.
It is best to watch what you say in the workplace. However, if you find yourself saying any of these phrases, not to worry. They may sound risque, but in fact they're only...
Things That Sound Dirty at Work But Really Aren't:
10. "I need to whip it out by 5."
9. "Mind if I use your laptop?"
8. "Put it in my box before I leave."
7. "If I have to lick one more, I'll gag!"
6. "I want it on my desk NOW!"
5. "HMMMM... I think it's out of fluid."
4. "My equipment is so old it takes forever to finish."
3. "It's an entry-level position."
2. "When do you think you'll be getting off today?"
1. "It's not fair! I do all the work while he just sits there!"
Re: Forum Funnys :)
Posted: Tue Jun 18, 2013 11:57 am
by willedtowin1
Ways to tell someone their fly is open.
11. I can see the gun of Navarone.
10. Someone tore down the wall, and your Pink Floyd is hanging out.
9. You've got open Windows on your laptop.
8. Sailor Ned's trying to take a little shore leave.
7. Your soldier aint so unknown now.
6. Your pod bay door is open, Hal.
5. Mini Me is making a break for the escape pod.
4. Ensign Hanes is reporting a hull breach on the lower deck, Sir!
3. Dr. Kimble has escaped!
2. I'm talking about Shaft, can you dig it?
1. I thought you were crazy, now I can clearly see your nuts.
I like this one, especially the "moon, Moon" dog video (need to scroll down a bit for it) - cracked up when watching it - I hope the dog was OK, man oh man lol
A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken takes out a cigarette and begins to smoke. The egg, pissed off, takes one look at the chicken, rolls over and pulls the blanket over him and says, "I guess we answered that question!"
Posted: Wed May 08, 2013 8:51 am
