Conquer Club

A recent survey has found that 8% of US men think they could defeat a lion in an unarmed fist fight:

https://www.ladbible.com/news/animals-e ... t-20210527

It's possible that they thought 'unarmed' meant 'only one assault rifle' but either way, they are a confident nation.

-------Man is an animal....
----------- You shouldn't hit Women, children, or animals.... That's the way it used to be...
----------- They say you are suppose to punch a shark in the nose/front...I'm never going to put myself in that situation...
----------- I am surprised you left out the boxing animal other than man.... Kangaroo...No , I couldn't beat a kangaroo...
----------- Those men are full of crap....They have never heard of Ancient Rome....The Christians fought the Lions bare handed....The Lions had a quick meal...Maybe the Gladiators with weapons did better,swords, not rifles... ... ConfederateSS.out!(The Blue and Silver Rebellion)...
--------I would fight the Detroit Lions... Anyone can win against them... ...I was thinking of Masks, During COVID...Why didn't we just wear paper bags over our heads, with eye holes cut out.... Wouldn't itch, fall off ,etc...You could write on it....LIONS FAN....Or Your team that sucks...Of course then you would have the Tree Huggers on your back... ...

How desperate does one have to be to post crap like this to disparage the USA? I'd say in the top 8% of blind haters as a desperation measurement.

Apparently this survey asked about 1200 people. A similar percentage of them said they could defeat an elephant. And a grizzly. And there wasn't a big difference between those being men or women. Oh....28% said they could NOT beat a rat....

I'm assuming the 1200 were heroin addicts, or confederate's family members.

Since people are universally stupid, I assume this would be similar worldwide.

And it's awesome that this piece of hard hitting journalism allowed MrSwdke to slip in an American anti-gun jab; well played (polite clapping noises).

Oh, and I bought two new guns last month! Yay!!

I see KB's famous sense of humour has survived 2023 intact so far!

Early poll results indicate that saxi is considered less physically intimidating than a rat or house cat. Keep voting, after which we can vote on which animal saxi should fight first!

What's a Big Monkey?

saxitoxin wrote:What's a Big Monkey?

Bigger than a small monkey.

KoolBak wrote:How desperate does one have to be to post crap like this to disparage the USA? I'd say in the top 8% of blind haters as a desperation measurement.

Apparently this survey asked about 1200 people. A similar percentage of them said they could defeat an elephant. And a grizzly. And there wasn't a big difference between those being men or women. Oh....28% said they could NOT beat a rat....

I'm assuming the 1200 were heroine addicts, or confederate's family members.

Since people are universally stupid, I assume this would be similar worldwide.

And it's awesome that this piece of hard hitting journalism allowed MrSwdke to slip in an American anti-gun jab; well played (polite clapping noises).

Oh, and I bought two new guns last month! Yay!!

I agree the “American” part can be somewhat offensive/annoying… but it is funny to see how dumb people are.

That said… taking the question seriously for a moment… I voted yes to;
Cat, Dog, Rat, Monkey (small), and Saxitoxin

This all presumes…. no weapons of any kind, we HAVE to fight (there’s no possibility of either of us running away), no initial surprise attacks (we are both aware of eachother and both KNOW we are going to fight, and no diseases (if the rat bites me and I die of disease later after I kill him it’s not a “draw”).

Let’s go through them:

*Rat… this would be scary and the rat would definitely get some bites in… but the average NYC rat is 1lbs (the largest grow to 2lbs). I outweigh this animal by more than a hundredfold. I’m pretty sure in a fight to the death I’m winning. I would consider amending my vote if it was a R.O.U.S. for. the Princess Bride.

*Cat… similar to a rat. Probably harder but less scary. I would have to be willing to take a few bites and scratches but it’s life-or-death bruh.

*Dog… I voted yes against a dog, but this is a trickier proposition. I would think it’d be easy against any “dog” under 30lbs. 30-100lb dogs would be harder, but they really only have one manner of attack… I would sacrifice my left forearm to the attacking dog and just come down on it’s head hard with my right. It becomes different when the dogs get bigger like 100lbs or more… and there’s another variable, if the dog has been trained to attack people that could change the proposition. If the dog is big enough and/or smart enough to knock you off your feet then much of your advantage is lost.

Square me off against a 225lb English Mastiff? IDK… I think that dog will get a nice steak dinner for winning the fight.

*Small Monkey… similar to a rat. It’s gonna be scary and the monkey will get some licks in, but the size disparity is impossible to overcome. A Capuchin Monkey is 16-22 inches and typically weighs less than 10lbs. Once you get a hand on the thing it’s over.

*Big Monkey… I assume they mean small ape like a Chimp. I don’t think any weaponless human could stand up to a Chimp in a fight.

Even if they don’t mean small apes… the largest Monkeys are Baboons and Mandrills. These things are big and wild and fast. I don’t how it’s possible to win. Maybe a trained fighter or grappler could win but I doubt it.

*Lion… forget about it. It’s over and quick. Even if I were armed with a knife or sword it’d over quick… the only possible chance I’d have is with a firearm, and even then I’d have to qualify the answer based on type of firearm and how big the “arena” or fighting area was. If we were in a small cage the lion would be on top of me before I could even fire.

*Pony… it’s just too big. My bare hands would barely hurt it. If I had a stone or some blunt object to help maybe I’d have a shot, but even then probably not. If I had a stone and surprise, but these violate the ‘rules’.

*Dolphin… assuming we are in the water… even a shallow pool… not a chance. If we are in land I win.

*saxitoxin… I think he is good at fighting with his words, but I suspect he’s a pussy IRL. Given a choice amongst all the “animals” here I would choose Saxi as he would be the easiest and expect I’d lose zero “hit points” in this fight.

bigtoughralf wrote:

saxitoxin wrote:What's a Big Monkey?

Bigger than a small monkey.

Saxi's question actually is a valid one. Does "Big Monkey" means bigger than a small monkey, or Great Ape?
Because a gorilla would smash any human to a pulp. Litterally. DNA will be the only way to determine the fool's identity.
Even an adult male chimp could easily kill any man. Maybe not a two meters heavyweight boxer/martial artist, but even then, I'm not sure.

Maxleod wrote:

bigtoughralf wrote:

saxitoxin wrote:What's a Big Monkey?

Bigger than a small monkey.

Saxi's question actually is a valid one. Does "Big Monkey" means bigger than a small monkey, or Great Ape?
Because a gorilla would smash any human to a pulp. Litterally. DNA will be the only way to determine the fool's identity.
Even an adult male chimp could easily kill any man. Maybe not a two meters heavyweight boxer/martial artist, but even then, I'm not sure.

Except Orangutans. Orangutans depend on humans to learn combat skills like snake fighting and Krav Maga.

*saxitoxin… I think he is good at fighting with his words, but I suspect he’s a pussy IRL. Given a choice amongst all the “animals” here I would choose Saxi as he would be the easiest and expect I’d lose zero “hit points” in this fight.

As if. I got snake awareness training from Technisi Muliono.

jimboston wrote:*Dog… I voted yes against a dog, but this is a trickier proposition. I would think it’d be easy against any “dog” under 30lbs. 30-100lb dogs would be harder, but they really only have one manner of attack… I would sacrifice my left forearm to the attacking dog and just come down on it’s head hard with my right. It becomes different when the dogs get bigger like 100lbs or more… and there’s another variable, if the dog has been trained to attack people that could change the proposition. If the dog is big enough and/or smart enough to knock you off your feet then much of your advantage is lost.

Large dogs tend to lunge, and if their lunge is successful then yes, they can bring you down.

However, they are also vulnerable during their lunge. A well-aimed kick in the ribcage or a parry that gets your hand on their throat can eliminate their advantage. You only get one chance at it, though, so better not miss.

Dukasaur wrote:

jimboston wrote:*Dog… I voted yes against a dog, but this is a trickier proposition. I would think it’d be easy against any “dog” under 30lbs. 30-100lb dogs would be harder, but they really only have one manner of attack… I would sacrifice my left forearm to the attacking dog and just come down on it’s head hard with my right. It becomes different when the dogs get bigger like 100lbs or more… and there’s another variable, if the dog has been trained to attack people that could change the proposition. If the dog is big enough and/or smart enough to knock you off your feet then much of your advantage is lost.

Large dogs tend to lunge, and if their lunge is successful then yes, they can bring you down.

However, they are also vulnerable during their lunge. A well-aimed kick in the ribcage or a parry that gets your hand on their throat can eliminate their advantage. You only get one chance at it, though, so better not miss.

Also, if you grab a dog by its hinders and lift it up it's powerless.

Dukasaur wrote:

jimboston wrote:*Dog… I voted yes against a dog, but this is a trickier proposition. I would think it’d be easy against any “dog” under 30lbs. 30-100lb dogs would be harder, but they really only have one manner of attack… I would sacrifice my left forearm to the attacking dog and just come down on it’s head hard with my right. It becomes different when the dogs get bigger like 100lbs or more… and there’s another variable, if the dog has been trained to attack people that could change the proposition. If the dog is big enough and/or smart enough to knock you off your feet then much of your advantage is lost.

Large dogs tend to lunge, and if their lunge is successful then yes, they can bring you down.

However, they are also vulnerable during their lunge. A well-aimed kick in the ribcage or a parry that gets your hand on their throat can eliminate their advantage. You only get one chance at it, though, so better not miss.

A well placed and well timed kick might work against a big dog. Try grabbing an Irish Wolfhound or English Mastiff or Great Dane by the throat.
Unless you’re a pro-football player, 6’8” with a giant hand, it’s unlikely your hand will be large enough to get a hold of anything.

saxitoxin wrote:

Dukasaur wrote:

jimboston wrote:*Dog… I voted yes against a dog, but this is a trickier proposition. I would think it’d be easy against any “dog” under 30lbs. 30-100lb dogs would be harder, but they really only have one manner of attack… I would sacrifice my left forearm to the attacking dog and just come down on it’s head hard with my right. It becomes different when the dogs get bigger like 100lbs or more… and there’s another variable, if the dog has been trained to attack people that could change the proposition. If the dog is big enough and/or smart enough to knock you off your feet then much of your advantage is lost.

Large dogs tend to lunge, and if their lunge is successful then yes, they can bring you down.

However, they are also vulnerable during their lunge. A well-aimed kick in the ribcage or a parry that gets your hand on their throat can eliminate their advantage. You only get one chance at it, though, so better not miss.

Also, if you grab a dog by its hinders and lift it up it's powerless.

and pray-tell how would you do this to a lunging 250lb mastiff?

jimboston wrote:

saxitoxin wrote:

Dukasaur wrote:

jimboston wrote:*Dog… I voted yes against a dog, but this is a trickier proposition. I would think it’d be easy against any “dog” under 30lbs. 30-100lb dogs would be harder, but they really only have one manner of attack… I would sacrifice my left forearm to the attacking dog and just come down on it’s head hard with my right. It becomes different when the dogs get bigger like 100lbs or more… and there’s another variable, if the dog has been trained to attack people that could change the proposition. If the dog is big enough and/or smart enough to knock you off your feet then much of your advantage is lost.

Large dogs tend to lunge, and if their lunge is successful then yes, they can bring you down.

However, they are also vulnerable during their lunge. A well-aimed kick in the ribcage or a parry that gets your hand on their throat can eliminate their advantage. You only get one chance at it, though, so better not miss.

Also, if you grab a dog by its hinders and lift it up it's powerless.

and pray-tell how would you do this to a lunging 250lb mastiff?

You all... Hilarious how you're devising plans and trying to think it through and stuff...

I grew up with two german sheperds. Was just a toddler. I don't care how big and scary and strong and nasty and evil your dog is, I win. Easily.

I knew a German shepherd. I pushed him off a cliff. Then I turned to his Mother and said 'Look, Ma! No Hans!'

That'll teach em for bombing the docklands.

I started to type a third response here. I was going to ask what an 'assault rifle' is. Then kind of lost motivation.

I was also considering typing about my buddy's uncle who claimed, in the colosseum, lions wouldn't attack Christians. Not sure what the source for that was.

I must admit I would love to hear someone actually explain their plan to fight a lion. Better yet an elephant.

I know a lady that legitimately wants to hug grizzly bears.

I have seen people in real life get way too close to a grizzly bear feeding beside a highway. I didn't ask nationalities but presume it was a mix of tourists and Canucks. That's some excellent entertainment right there.

2dimes wrote:I must admit I would love to hear someone actually explain their plan to fight a lion. Better yet an elephant.

If you grab it by its hinders and lift it up it's powerless.

Same applies to a Saxi.

Maxleod wrote:
I grew up with two german sheperds. Was just a toddler. I don't care how big and scary and strong and nasty and evil your dog is, I win. Easily.

You might be able to intimidate a dog to a point where you get the upper hand IRL.

That’s not the scenario. The scenario assumes that both you and the dog know you have to fight to the death.

Perhaps you can get the advantage on a 95lb shepard.

I’m not sure that same math applies to a 200+ pound mastiff.

2dimes wrote:I was also considering typing about my buddy's uncle who claimed, in the colosseum, lions wouldn't attack Christians. Not sure what the source for that was.

That would be bullshit myth.

2dimes wrote:I must admit I would love to hear someone actually explain their plan to fight a lion. Better yet an elephant.

both would easily kill a weaponless human.

2dimes wrote:
I know a lady that legitimately wants to hug grizzly bears.

dumb idea…but if it is well fed and trained…

2dimes wrote:I have seen people in real life get way too close to a grizzly bear feeding beside a highway. I didn't ask nationalities but presume it was a mix of tourists and Canucks. That's some excellent entertainment right there.

Also dumb… you have no clue how hungry it may be. I don’t think they go out of their way to attack people… but I also don;t think they require much provocation.

Typically a bear like most wild animals is either indifferent to humans or would rather avoid them. Any bears I have encountered either didn't care there were people or left because it did't want to be around us.

The usual problem is if they decide you are threatening it, getting too close to it's food or in the case of a sow, it's cubs. They tend not to say much before they decide it's go time.

Last one I encountered left before we used any deterrents. My buddy and I were in some bush about fifty miles up from Revelstoke in September. He was worried about bears the whole time. He saw two, I missed them both. We talked with a guy who claimed to see six. We were done there and decided to go to a different area. We drove to a high spot to look at the valley before leaving, when we returned to the trailer to hook up, there was a brown bear sniffing around. By the time we had parked and got the spray and pen flares out it was far enough away we just watched it continue to wander off and chatted about it.

Now Cougars on the other hand, they will stalk you.

I was hiking by myself a few years back and rounded a bend in the forest and there was a big Black Bear standing perilously close in front of me. Only time I've ever had a bear encounter when I've been by myself. I had hiked this trail numerous times before and was surprised to see it and, truthfully, it looked surprised to see me too. I used the bear response protocol and after a minute or two it ambled away. I actually had bear repellent with me during this encounter but I was so surprised that I forgot I was even carrying it.

Last year, I was confronted by rattlesnakes twice on trails. One coiled and hissed at me. I stamped my foot and announced - in a calm, loud, and clear voice - "Get outta here, snake!" and in both cases they actually left, though I thought it mostly had to do with me stamping my foot as I understand they don't like ground vibrations. Then, later, I looked it up and it said stamping your feet aggravates snakes and you shouldn't do it. So maybe they spoke English. Who knows?

Then another time, I encountered a human on the trail. I had never seen another person on this trail before that. I heard him coming from like half a mile away because he was loudly talking to himself. As soon as he saw me he stopped talking to himself. Once he reached me he stopped and started talking to me and, at that point, seemed pretty normal and we had a nice chat. Then he brought up his brother whom, he said, had been discharged from the Navy and was the victim of government mind control experiments. And he got increasingly agitated and had - for lack of a better word - "crazy eyes." He was intensely freaky, it's hard to explain. Eventually we parted ways. I have always carried my revolver with me on this one trail ever since. Only time I ever conceal carry.

Never encountered a Mountain Lion but a few times have seen old tracks so I usually divert.