Conquer Club

Eighteen Ways to Be a Good Liberal!
1. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial, but being
homosexual is natural.

2. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and
government creates prosperity.

3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding
citizens are more of a threat than nuclear weapons technology in the
hands of Iran or North Korea.

4. You have to believe that there was no art before federal funding.

5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by
cyclical changes in the earth's climate and MORE affected by soccer
moms driving SUVs.

6. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion
on demand.

7. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by lack of
federal funding.

8. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach fourth
graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach t! hose same kids
about sex.

9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but
PETA activists do (CLASSIC).

10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than
actually doing something to earn it.

11. You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own
money to make "The Passion of the Christ" for financial gain
only.

12. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain
parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports
certain parts of the Constitution.

13. You have to believe that taxes are too low and ATM fees are too
high.

14. You have to believe that Margaret Sange! r and Gloria Steinem are
more important to Am erican history that Thomas Jefferson, Robert E.
Lee and Thomas A. Edison.

15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but
racial quotas are not.

16. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked
anywhere that it's been tried is because the right people haven't
been in charge.

17. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag
queens and transvestites should be constitutionally-protected, and
manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

18. You have to believe that this message is part of a vast right-
wing conspiracy.

that's funny

i find it quite biased... even though i consider my self myslef a moderate... cuz the extreme left wing liberals are high on something (probably pot) and the zealous right wing republics are fucking retarded

Well at least I now know I am not a liberal...and neither is 99% of the Democratic party! Thanks!

(looking forward to the "More fodder for you conservatives" thread!)

lol that is funny, i find myself agreeing with part of one thing and yet disagree with another, i think ill start a new political party called Common Sense... if you believe abortion is illegal, then get rid of capital punishment, but we would also allow people who believe in abortion and capital punishment to join mwhahaha yesh a evil evil political party >.>

That's good.

Excellent! I like 10 & 17 the most. The funny thing is....its all true!

Dude you hit right on the head, long live freedome and peace to all in AMERICA--- HOO_YAAA---

LMAO. Some of those are realy great. But:

3. How many people were killed by nuclear weapons of Iran and N. Korea? Ever?

16. Acctualy, socialism works just fine in Scandinavian countries. Were you thinking of communism?

18. C'mon, Arnold, who do you think you're kidding?

*Must resist urge to give point by point rebuttal*

12. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain
parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports
certain parts of the Constitution.

That was my favorite, seeing how the comparative values are ignored to try to be humorous.

10 ways to be a good whatever-a-non-liberal-is!

1) Kill and eat mexicans and penniless orphans
2) Reintroduce slavery
3) Pay poor people to release their offspring into the wild and hunt them with rifles
4) Believe the salem witch trials should never have been discontinued
5) Pray for death to all towelheads
6) Forced labour or preferably execution for all gays, heathens, ethnics, asylum seekers, communists, democrats, new yorkers, pro-lifers, muslims, pacifists, frenchies, europeans, evolutionary scientists, free thinkers, intellectuals, gypsies, jews, welfare cases, HIV sufferers and susan sarandon
7) A shoot to kill policy on abortion doctors
8) Buy more guns and shoot more stuff/people/endangered species/family members/blacks in the name of jesus
9) Concrete over Alaska so non-liberals got someplace to park their Hummers
10) Justify all the above with a flag, an eagle, the last post and the words 'freedom' and 'god'

I'm sorry, but in the Reconstruction, the KKK and Soutern slaveowners called themselves Democrats. Even check Wikipedia.

#7 doesn't sound that bad, actually.

koolbak wrote:7) A shoot to kill policy on abortion doctors

happysadfun wrote:#7 doesn't sound that bad, actually.

Not at all surprising. Double standards are a republican axiom

11. You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own
money to make "The Passion of the Christ" for financial gain
only.

I love this one. Mel is such a fine, upstanding christian now isnt he.

I see myself as a liberal, I do agree with some of those points (yes I do), however, I'm also a European, I know where the word "liberal" comes from, I know that there's a difference between socialism and communism and that what's called socialism now is about as far from what socialism was originally supposed to be as bananas are from cherries.


I've heard that "liberal" in America was first used for people who wanted the state to make liberal use of its powers (or something like that).

Liberal as I know the word means, among other things, promoting personal freedoms, also free trade, protecting the individuals privacy from both the state and business, encouraging free speech and so forth.
I think you get the picture.

Gives you something to think about, doesn't it?

they woul dnot understadn what you were telling them, unless you have a rifle trained at them

SirSebstar wrote:they woul dnot understadn what you were telling them, unless you have a rifle trained at them

Who are you talking to?
Who are "they"?
Who is "telling"?
What are they "telling"?

Quote button. Don't fear it!

heavycola wrote:10 ways to be a good whatever-a-non-liberal-is!

1) Kill and eat mexicans and penniless orphans
2) Reintroduce slavery
3) Pay poor people to release their offspring into the wild and hunt them with rifles
4) Believe the salem witch trials should never have been discontinued
5) Pray for death to all towelheads
6) Forced labour or preferably execution for all gays, heathens, ethnics, asylum seekers, communists, democrats, new yorkers, pro-lifers, muslims, pacifists, frenchies, europeans, evolutionary scientists, free thinkers, intellectuals, gypsies, jews, welfare cases, HIV sufferers and susan sarandon
7) A shoot to kill policy on abortion doctors
Buy more guns and shoot more stuff/people/endangered species/family members/blacks in the name of jesus
9) Concrete over Alaska so non-liberals got someplace to park their Hummers
10) Justify all the above with a flag, an eagle, the last post and the words 'freedom' and 'god'

You didn't put in the:

11. Countries thet don't know how to throw nuclear bomb on a populated city(or cities), have no right to have nukes

happysadfun wrote:I'm sorry, but in the Reconstruction, the KKK and Soutern slaveowners called themselves Democrats. Even check Wikipedia.

#7 doesn't sound that bad, actually.

Why are you ignoring the well known fact that both parties reversed their standings so what they were called back then isn't the same today?

areon wrote:

happysadfun wrote:I'm sorry, but in the Reconstruction, the KKK and Soutern slaveowners called themselves Democrats. Even check Wikipedia.

#7 doesn't sound that bad, actually.

Why are you ignoring the well known fact that both parties reversed their standings so what they were called back then isn't the same today?

didin't someone say Wikipedia could have anyone write anything and have it submited and Wikipedia would have it considered true (assuming the online one is the one your talking about) but ya... nayways...

Wikipedia isn't that simple. You have to submit it and moderators will go over entries to 'try' to keep them objective. I honestly wouldn't trust wiki for anything but entertainment knowledge since my professors across the board have told there classes not to cite sources from wiki.

mandalorian2298 wrote:16. Acctualy, socialism works just fine in Scandinavian countries. Were you thinking of communism?

No, he means socialism when it's the central government. In Scandinavia, it's a party, and it's democratic socialism/social democracy, and that's different.

So he DID mean communism! Please give me an example of socialistic-central-goverment-yet-not-quite-communistic country, because i don't know which counties you mean.

mandalorian2298 wrote:You didn't put in the:

11. Countries thet don't know how to throw nuclear bomb on a populated city(or cities), have no right to have nukes

Koolbak forgot:


When you believe that you can sell nuclear techknowledgy to crazy dictators and somehow don't think he won't use that information to obtain nukes.

A Conservative wrote:18. You have to believe that this message is part of a vast right-
wing conspiracy.

No we dont, we can just take it as further proof that whoever wrote that really just doesn't understand what "we" believe in. Ah well, nobody ever listened to me anyway

A tree hugging, vegan, pascifist, bleeding heart liberal wrote:Eighteen Ways to actually Be a Good Liberal!
1. You can believe that gender roles are artificial, and that makes identifying as a homosexual or any other sexual orientation ok...and you know the difference between "gender" and "sexuality"

2. You can believe that big businesses tend create inequality and government has the potential to promote equality

3. You can believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding
citizens sometimes means guns in the hands of crazies who can't be controlled and that nuclear weapons technology in the
hands of crazies in Iran or North Korea or anywhere else, including the US, UK, France, China, Israel or even Canada would be a bad idea too

4. You can believe that there was art before federal funding but federal funding helped more people create more of it.

5. You can believe that global temperatures are less affected by
cyclical changes in the earth's climate and MORE affected by soccer
moms driving SUVs. In other words, believe in science rather than hiding under a rock and pretending that the hot weather will just go away.

6. You can be against retribution which costs lots of money and has never proven to be effective and believe that being born into a crap life with a desperate single mother might have started the person on death row down a bad path to begin with.

7. You can believe that the the spread of the AIDS virus can be slowed by targeted programs funded by the federal government, because not everyone can afford birth control and guess what...people are horny and abstenance-as-birth-control just does not work

8. You can believe that more funding needs to go to education, less to wars which kill people (and their unborn children) and that if parents can't get over themselves and teach their own kids about "the birds and the bees" someone has to preferably after they get trained with those new education funds

9. You can believe that hunters sometimes shoot eachother in the face then have the government spends lots of money spinning it off as an accident so that Dick can stay in office...but PETA activists rarely carry guns, don't shoot eachother and dont have the money or influence to blatantly lie to the general public and get away with it

10. You can believe that self-esteem is more important than
actually doing something to earn it. Does this mean that because we don't think that "our bomb is bigger than your's" and try to prove it by starting more wars than we can handle that our dicks are small?

11. You can believe that anyone, including Mel Gibson can spend $25 million of their own money to make bad choices as long as they don't incite rioting, violence, death, dismemberment, hunting accidents or copious amounts of waste in distant lands

12. You can believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain
parts of the Constitution that facilitate school shootings, hunting accidents and the saying "guns don't kill people, people kill people", while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution like basic human rights which sometimes get looked over.

13. You can believe that those who have lots of money should maybe share some of it and those who don't have lots of money maybe shouldnt have to give it to a machine just to get access to it.

14. You can believe that lots of people contributed to world history, not just a few dead white guys...who of course contributed a lot.

15. You can believe that tests which are biased are bad and that, once again, giving people the opportunity to level the playing field is ok

16. You can believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked
anywhere that it's been tried is because the right people haven't
been in charge, and one of the main reasons that Europe is now the single largest trading block in the world (yes, it's bigger than the US by 9.something percent) is because the wrong people are currently in charge in the US

17. You can believe that people have the right to express themselves, even if it is religious, as long as a single view is not promoted, enforced or portrayed as "right" by the government.

18. You can believe that conservatives just dont get liberals, and can only resort to bad 3rd grade insults, which are way off base, rather than actually try to understand them.