The School Board [Social] [Recruiting]

[pimpdave]

In this clan we will accomplish nothing while arguing constantly.

Anyone with any little bit of power is encouraged to walk around mentioning it at every opportunity, especially in the grocery store.

In this clan we will do the following (open to suggestion):

1) discuss which books are inappropriate for children to read, by quoting the most inappropriate portions, thus letting them know which page to skip to for all of the sexy-time and/or violence.

2) discuss methods for cutting arts programs to fund the football team.

3) talk about how important we all are.


I will be the leader of this clan, but only in the beginning. Since it is important that we all bicker and slander each other during meetings (i.e. the sub forum), our first order of business will be to argue incessantly about who will be the School Board President(s).

Please apply to join if you would like to feel important about your life.


1. pimpdave - Dictator for Life
2. Snorri1234 - Executive Vice President of Kicking Ass and Taking Names
3. Dancing Mustard - Secretary of Keeping it Real
4. King_Herpes - Secretary of Recruitment (i.e. Kidnapping)
5. Neoteny - Secretary of War (On Christmas, Culture, etc)
6. MaleAlphaThree - Board Shepherd
7. Visaoni - Secretary of Literature and Bonfires
8. Juan_Bottom - Secretary of Subversive Activities
9. AmphibiousRodent - Secretary of Graphic Design (Porn)
10. hecter - Secretary of Security
11. animorpherv - Secretary of Strange Names
12. frigidus - Secretary of Irrational Love for Professional Football Team With Mascot That Could *F You Up In Real Life
13. Joodoo - Secretary of I Have No Idea What That Guy Does
14. Jonesthecurl - OSHA Compliance Officer
15. e_i_pi - Janitor (of Broken Dreams)
16. Simon Viavant- Secretary of Being Added to the Rolls Without Being Asked

[Snorri1234]

Hell, I'm in.

[pimpdave]

Very well, but watch your mouth, or else kids might go insane and do drugs and listen to jazz (i.e. sex music) if you say such words ever again.

[Dancing Mustard]

I would like to volunteer my lifetime of experience in tedious administration to the role of Secretary of the Board. I shall assume my appointment in advance and begin keeping full minutes of this thread immediately.

Innage.

[King_Herpes]

Being apart of anything that will help further my feelings of complacency is especially for me and surely a step in the right direction. After all, my motto is: procrastination is like masturbation in that it only takes a minute. I will perpetuate great amounts of monotone lecture and mind numbing debates. I also vogue to wear asinine sweaters with leather patches at the elbows and preemptively ignore my ridiculous nose hairs. When I'm not at a School board meeting I will surely be mis-grading papers in my underwear or out buying things I can't afford. So bring me a f*cking apple and for starts let me have a board facilitator position with crappy pay!

[Neoteny]

I feel that it's my duty in my War on Christmas to damage the minds of all children in the world. I'll be in.

[MaleAlphaThree]

Someone has got to corrupt the rational thinking tendency humans have.

I shall take the position of Pastor on the School Board and see to it that ignorance reigns over all and that no one takes evolution or science seriously...... unless it revolves directly around our ever-loving, ever-dead lord, Jesus.

[Visaoni]

I am surely in. I will form committees formed of teachers, students, and parents. I will ask them to read a book and report back to me. When every single person the committee deems a book appropriate, I will move for it to be banned. And you all will pass it. True story.

[King_Herpes]

Someone has got to corrupt the rational thinking tendency humans have.

I shall take the position of Pastor on the School Board and see to it that ignorance reigns over all and that no one takes evolution or science seriously...... unless it revolves directly around our ever-loving, ever-dead lord, Jesus.

I spot a FAKE!

[Juan_Bottom]

In. Without me there is no function.

[AmphibiousRodent]

I'm in, but how the hell will this school district gain any respect without a multi-million-dollar football stadium on every campus? Oh, and I'll only be able to attend 17% of the school board meetings due to checking out the cheerleaders at various athletic functions-- I mean, uh, supporting our young athletes. Yeah.

And in all fairness, I won't listen to any of the discussion at any of the meetings I do attend as I'll be busy updating my fantasy teams on my laptop. By which I mean downloading porn using the school's wireless network.

[hecter]

I'm in! I'll manage the computers to be sure they all have the most out of date software and run as slowly as possible. I will make sure all sites are arbitrarily blocked for reasons that don't even make sense so nobody will be able to actually use the internet even if they wait the 5 minutes it takes for every page to load.

[Juan_Bottom]

I actually have no idea how to teach or what schools do. I am not qualified in any fashon. The last thing I am is a "morning person."I am a felon. On my resume I switched the words "principal" and principle" over and over again without noticing.
Am I exactly what you're looking for? The principle does the hiring, right?

[animorpherv1]

as long as it stays social, I'm in.

also, hasn't DM been permabanned?

[Snorri1234]

No, just a month.

[pimpdave]

Looks like this has enough now to form as an official clan.

As soon as we have formed, the rest of Conquer Club can expect to start seeing Official newsletters from the School Board telling them all how they should be living in the most didactic manner possible.

[pimpdave]

I am serious about launching this clan.

We will be a body of concerned citizens who, in addition to being awesome, will keep tabs on the moderators of this site, but out of the public eye, so no one can get bent out of shape about our compiling data regarding the actions of the forum leadership.

I welcome moderators to join us, to help us set the record straight.

There will be a strict no flaming policy on the board, we are interested primarily in empirical data, but also being awesome. In addition, the first rule of School Board will be do not copypasta anything from School Board. It all stays within the School Board. For that is awesome.

[Frigidus]

In so hard.

[Joodoo]

sounds good, give me a random position dave

[Juan_Bottom]

In so hard.

sounds good, give me a random position dave

That's what she said...

Welcome to the clan!

[Juan_Bottom]

Any word on our status Mr. Pimpdave?

[e_i_pi]

Do you need a janitor? In

[pimpdave]

Yeah, I don't know what's taking so long.

There's so much literature we need to ban.

[King_Herpes]

Yeah, I don't know what's taking so long.

There's so much literature we need to ban.

Indeed. More importantly, which tie shall I wear? My flying pigs tie or one of my other tacky polyester argyle print ties with a relish stain on the bottom? Or should I just go without and unbutton the top of my shirt to let my chest show a little?

[Juan_Bottom]

Yeah, I don't know what's taking so long.

There's so much literature we need to ban.

Indeed. More importantly, which tie shall I wear? My flying pigs tie or one of my other tacky polyester argyle print ties with a relish stain on the bottom? Or should I just go without and unbutton the top of my shirt to let my chest show a little?

IF you have a lot of chest hair, then it's better to expose that sh*t. Hair is finaly coming back in style. But hippiedom isn't coming back with it, so none of that animorpherv1.