saxitoxin wrote:Are there any two locations in the whole UK that are more than 10 minutes drive from each other? We can only speculate on the timeline ...(1) multiple 999 calls saying the most horrible violence seen in London in the last week is occurring
(2) Constable Basil finishes his tea, walks to the locker and picks-up his swagger stick and begins smartly marching to the scene of the crime.
(3) attackers continue hacking at felled man
(4) Inspector-Constable Alistair stops Basil him and sternly remands him for the scuff-marks on his shoes.
(5) attackers continue hacking at felled man
(6) Basil attends to his dress code violation; realizing it's been five minutes at this point, he marches at double-time to Woolwich
(7) attackers finish man off
(8) Basil arrives in Woolwich and blows his traffic whistle three times and states loudly and clearly "Here then - what's all this commotion about?"
(9) Basil notices attackers have an antique gun and runs away leaving bystanders alone with attackers.
(10) attackers and bystanders have a pleasant conversation for ten minutes
(11) Basil returns with the Band of the Coldstream Guards, a mounted colour party of the Royal Welch Fusiliers, three c. 1880s saluting cannons and 5 Royal Navy admirals in full court dress ... everyone begins firing wildly, hundreds of rounds ... two manage to hit the attackers in the foot
(12) the Viscount of Woolwich - whom no one knew existed until now - arrives and awards 17 Victoria Crosses; a 3-hour parade is staged over the crime scene
(13) once the parade is over, evidence technicians try to recover whatever hasn't been trampled underfoot
Top notch stuff Saxi. Loved reading this!
