Conquer Club

Noah's ark, a new beginning.

\\OFF-TOPIC// conversations about everything that has nothing to do with Conquer Club.
Forum rules
Please read the Community Guidelines before posting.

Noah's ark, a new beginning.

Postby 2dimes on Tue Sep 03, 2013 3:14 am

Anyone hear or know about this?
User avatar
Corporal 2dimes
 
Posts: 13098
Joined: Wed May 31, 2006 1:08 pm
Location: Pepperoni Hug Spot.

Re: Noah's ark, a new beginning.

Postby PLAYER57832 on Tue Sep 03, 2013 6:49 am

Hear about what?

That title could refer to any number of things.
Corporal PLAYER57832
 
Posts: 3085
Joined: Fri Sep 21, 2007 9:17 am
Location: Pennsylvania

Re: Noah's ark, a new beginning.

Postby oVo on Tue Sep 03, 2013 9:45 am

Has the length of a cubit been determined
and are we talking rocket ships here?
User avatar
Major oVo
 
Posts: 3864
Joined: Fri Jan 26, 2007 1:41 pm
Location: Antarctica

Re: Noah's ark, a new beginning.

Postby AndyDufresne on Tue Sep 03, 2013 10:01 am

Are you talking about the panspermia hypothesis, 2dimes? That we are all martians?


--Andy
User avatar
Corporal 1st Class AndyDufresne
 
Posts: 24935
Joined: Fri Mar 03, 2006 8:22 pm
Location: A Banana Palm in Zihuatanejo

Re: Noah's ark, a new beginning.

Postby Frigidus on Tue Sep 03, 2013 10:34 am

Are they renovating Noah's Ark so that it won't just be the biggest water park in the U.S. but in the entire world?
User avatar
Sergeant Frigidus
 
Posts: 1638
Joined: Thu Aug 30, 2007 1:15 pm
Location: Illinois, USA

Postby 2dimes on Tue Sep 03, 2013 10:34 pm

See I never heard anything about it either until I was looking at Shannon Elisabeth on IMDB. Then linked to Jason Mews and he was the voice of Ham. This makes me think about Luns101's signature and wonder why I never heard of the animated feature from 2012.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1091821/
User avatar
Corporal 2dimes
 
Posts: 13098
Joined: Wed May 31, 2006 1:08 pm
Location: Pepperoni Hug Spot.

Re:

Postby PLAYER57832 on Wed Sep 04, 2013 6:38 pm

2dimes wrote:See I never heard anything about it either until I was looking at Shannon Elisabeth on IMDB. Then linked to Jason Mews and he was the voice of Ham. This makes me think about Luns101's signature and wonder why I never heard of the animated feature from 2012.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1091821/


Isn't this just a 2012 proposal? Doesn't sound like the movie has been made yet, unless I am misreading???
Corporal PLAYER57832
 
Posts: 3085
Joined: Fri Sep 21, 2007 9:17 am
Location: Pennsylvania

Re: Noah's ark, a new beginning.

Postby notyou2 on Wed Sep 04, 2013 9:25 pm

It drowned at the box office




















except Elliot Gould, he was good as a vengeful earth shattering god
Image
User avatar
Captain notyou2
 
Posts: 6447
Joined: Thu Jan 15, 2009 10:09 am
Location: In the here and now

Re: Noah's ark, a new beginning.

Postby macbone on Thu Sep 05, 2013 12:47 pm

Man, I like the cast list - Jason Lee, Eliza Dushka, Ben Kingsley. Was it really that bad?

Huh. And there's a 2014 Noah film with Russell Crowd, Anthony Hopkins, and Emma Watson: http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Noah_(film)
User avatar
Colonel macbone
 
Posts: 6217
Joined: Wed Jun 03, 2009 7:12 pm
Location: Running from a cliff racer

Re: Noah's ark, a new beginning.

Postby ManBungalow on Sat Sep 07, 2013 4:02 pm

macbone wrote:Man, I like the cast list - Jason Lee, Eliza Dushka, Ben Kingsley. Was it really that bad?

Huh. And there's a 2014 Noah film with Russell Crowd, Anthony Hopkins, and Emma Watson: http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Noah_(film)

You mean to say that Hermione Granger, Hannibal Lecter and Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions and loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius, father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife, and I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next are all starring in the same film?

How much can a story about Noah's ark be fleshed out anyway? I'm not a theologian, and my knowledge on these grounds is shaky, but I remember the story being told like this:

God: I am angry at humans. I shall drown all of them except for you, Noah, and your wife. Build a big-ass boat and save two of every animal.
Noah: It will be done, my Lord.
*later*
God: All other humans have drowned and your ark was a total success. Have some sunshine and make the world a better place.
*end credits*
Image
Colonel ManBungalow
 
Posts: 3431
Joined: Sun Jan 13, 2008 7:02 am
Location: On a giant rock orbiting a star somewhere

Re: Noah's ark, a new beginning.

Postby BigBallinStalin on Sat Sep 07, 2013 4:12 pm

I look forward to watching 2 hours of the cast trying to collect two of every species on the planet--except the fish because fishing is boring. Instead, we'd get back-to-back Crocodile Hunter. In the meantime, there would be occasional scenes of Ben Kingsley lifting a 2v4 to slowly build a ship the size of a small, modern city. With a couple more scenes of him nailing together some boards, he would have finished the boat.

This is a comedy, right?
User avatar
Major BigBallinStalin
 
Posts: 5151
Joined: Sun Oct 26, 2008 10:23 pm
Location: crying into the dregs of an empty bottle of own-brand scotch on the toilet having a dump in Dagenham

Re: Noah's ark, a new beginning.

Postby crispybits on Sat Sep 07, 2013 5:58 pm

They should cast someone a bit older and more moany instead of Emma Watson

"Did you load the ferrets?"
"Yes dear..."
"All 3 varieties?"
"Yes dear..."
"Because we know what happened with my sister Jezebel's birthday party last time God got angry don't we?"
"Yes dear..."
User avatar
Major crispybits
 
Posts: 942
Joined: Sun Feb 05, 2012 4:29 pm

Re: Noah's ark, a new beginning.

Postby ManBungalow on Sat Sep 07, 2013 6:07 pm

They should also cast Samuel L Jackson.


"I have had it with these motherf*cking animals on this motherf*cking boat!"
Image
Colonel ManBungalow
 
Posts: 3431
Joined: Sun Jan 13, 2008 7:02 am
Location: On a giant rock orbiting a star somewhere

Re: Noah's ark, a new beginning.

Postby notyou2 on Sat Sep 07, 2013 6:25 pm

Bill Murray scooping the stalls would be awesome.
Image
User avatar
Captain notyou2
 
Posts: 6447
Joined: Thu Jan 15, 2009 10:09 am
Location: In the here and now

Re: Noah's ark, a new beginning.

Postby BigBallinStalin on Sat Sep 07, 2013 7:31 pm

Ashton Kutcher and Sean William Scott should be partying in some city and then a huge tsunami destroys them. There should be several touching scenes of farmers tending their flocks, with the kids running around happy, and their wives calling them to dinner, but suddenly a huge wave engulfs them all. Everyone dies because well they were so evil.
User avatar
Major BigBallinStalin
 
Posts: 5151
Joined: Sun Oct 26, 2008 10:23 pm
Location: crying into the dregs of an empty bottle of own-brand scotch on the toilet having a dump in Dagenham

Re: Noah's ark, a new beginning.

Postby betiko on Sat Sep 07, 2013 9:26 pm

Were dinosaurs extinct because they were too dangerous on an ark?
Image
User avatar
Major betiko
 
Posts: 10941
Joined: Fri Feb 25, 2011 3:05 pm
Location: location, location
22

Re: Noah's ark, a new beginning.

Postby DoomYoshi on Sat Sep 07, 2013 11:28 pm

I would much rather see a Deucalion movie. Ovid FTW.
░▒▒▓▓▓▒▒░
User avatar
Captain DoomYoshi
 
Posts: 10728
Joined: Tue Nov 16, 2010 9:30 pm
Location: Niu York, Ukraine

Postby 2dimes on Sun Sep 08, 2013 12:28 am

A rose by any other name?
User avatar
Corporal 2dimes
 
Posts: 13098
Joined: Wed May 31, 2006 1:08 pm
Location: Pepperoni Hug Spot.

Re: Noah's ark, a new beginning.

Postby jonesthecurl on Sun Sep 08, 2013 12:38 am

You'da thought god would have said -
"btw, noah, no need to load the flies and mosquitoes!"
instagram.com/garethjohnjoneswrites
User avatar
Sergeant 1st Class jonesthecurl
 
Posts: 4616
Joined: Sun Mar 16, 2008 9:42 am
Location: disused action figure warehouse

Re: Noah's ark, a new beginning.

Postby crispybits on Sun Sep 08, 2013 6:23 am

jonesthecurl wrote:You'da thought god would have said -
"btw, noah, no need to load the flies and mosquitoes!"


Or the wasps - I hate Noah for taking the wasps....
User avatar
Major crispybits
 
Posts: 942
Joined: Sun Feb 05, 2012 4:29 pm

Re: Noah's ark, a new beginning.

Postby AAFitz on Sun Sep 08, 2013 7:03 am

notyou2 wrote:It drowned at the box office


No amount of CGI could make that story believable.
I'm Spanking Monkey now....err...I mean I'm a Spanking Monkey now...that shoots milk
Too much. I know.
Sergeant 1st Class AAFitz
 
Posts: 7270
Joined: Sun Sep 17, 2006 9:47 am
Location: On top of the World 2.1

Re: Noah's ark, a new beginning.

Postby universalchiro on Wed Sep 11, 2013 12:56 am

betiko wrote:Were dinosaurs extinct because they were too dangerous on an ark?

Who said dinosaurs are extinct? They could still be living amongst us but just much much smaller.
How? Dinosaurs are reptiles, and we still have reptiles today. Reptiles will grow as long as they are alive.
When dinosaurs lived, O2 was 50% higher and Arizona State Uni. proved that life grows larger and accelerated in an oxygen enriched environment.
When dinosaurs lived, gravity was weaker too. The cause of the global flood of Genesis 7, was a Canopy of water that came down upon the earth. Well, before this canopy of water came down upon the earth in 40 days and night of rain, this canopy of water hovering around the atmosphere would increase the atmospheric pressure on all life forms. This increased pressure would create a buoyancy effect and thereby counter act against gravity.

With the reduction in oxygen from the formation of polar ice caps, deserts and oceans, all of which resulted from the flood, this reduced vegetation, which reduced the oxygen concentration in the atmosphere. Thereby, causing life to not live as long and not thrive as much. This is represented in the Bible with the reduction of the ages of humans. From 900+ years before the flood, to 120 years of age after the flood, in a relatively short amount of time (8 generations).

With the reduction of oxygen and increase of gravity, the dinosaurs couldn't live as long to grow as tall. And with the increased gravity, their skeletal system couldn't support their massive tonnage. So possibly, they had to crawl. hence the spawning of the crocodile and Comodo Dragons.

The Bible is very clear that 1 male and 1 female went into the ark of every kind (younglings). Therefore, dinosaurs survived the flood. And that's why they are mentioned in Job 40 & 41 as the Leviathan and Behemoth... one of them having a tail as tall as a Cedar Tree. Mesopotamian Cedar Tree grew to 100 feet tall.
Last edited by universalchiro on Wed Sep 11, 2013 1:11 am, edited 1 time in total.
User avatar
General universalchiro
SoC Training Adviser
 
Posts: 562
Joined: Thu Jul 07, 2011 10:41 am
Location: Texas

Re: Noah's ark, a new beginning.

Postby universalchiro on Wed Sep 11, 2013 1:04 am

AAFitz wrote:No amount of CGI could make that story believable.

They already found Noah's Ark, in the mountains of Ararat just as the Bible described. With the same dimensions, same width, same height, same length, same type of wood, with artifacts associated with a sea fairing vessels of the same time period...

you may want to do just a little research before posting...

http://beforeitsnews.com/christian-news ... 44569.html
User avatar
General universalchiro
SoC Training Adviser
 
Posts: 562
Joined: Thu Jul 07, 2011 10:41 am
Location: Texas

Re: Noah's ark, a new beginning.

Postby Dukasaur on Wed Sep 11, 2013 5:38 am

universalchiro wrote:
AAFitz wrote:No amount of CGI could make that story believable.

They already found Noah's Ark, in the mountains of Ararat just as the Bible described. With the same dimensions, same width, same height, same length, same type of wood, with artifacts associated with a sea fairing vessels of the same time period...

you may want to do just a little research before posting...

http://beforeitsnews.com/christian-news ... 44569.html

You might want to do some real research.
http://www.livescience.com/7137-noah-ark-discovered.html
Violet M. Cummings is the author of several books on Noah's Ark, among them "Noah's Ark: Fable or Fact?" (1975), in which she claimed that Noah's Ark was found on Turkey's Mount Ararat. According to the 1976 book and film "In Search of Noah's Ark," "there is now actual photographic evidence that Noah's Ark really does exist.... Scientists have used satellites, computers, and powerful cameras to pinpoint the Ark's exact location on Mt. Ararat."

This is a rather remarkable claim, for despite repeated trips to Mt. Ararat over the past thirty years, the Ark remains elusive.

Undeterred by a lack of evidence, in 1982 Cummings issued a book titled, "Has Anybody Really Seen Noah's Ark?," published by Creation-Life Publishers. The subtitle, "An Affirmative Definitive Report," hints at Cummings's conclusion.

Interest in Noah's Ark resurfaced in February 1993, when CBS aired a two-hour primetime special titled, "The Incredible Discovery of Noah's Ark." (Little did CBS know that they were using incredible in its accurate, proper meaning: "not credible.")

As Ken Feder describes in his book "Frauds, Myths, and Mysteries," the special "was a hodgepodge of unverifiable stories and misrepresentations of the paleontological, archaeological, and historical records." It included the riveting testimony of a George Jammal, who claimed not only to have personally seen the Ark on Ararat but recovered a piece of it. Jammal's story (and the chunk of wood he displayed) impressed both CBS producers and viewers. Yet he was later revealed as a paid actor who had never been to Turkey and whose piece of the Ark was not an unknown ancient timber (identified in the Bible as "gopher wood") but instead modern pine soaked in soy sauce and artificially aged in an oven.

Red-faced CBS, which had done little fact-checking for their much-hyped special, said that the program was entertainment, not a documentary.
“‎Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats.”
― Voltaire
User avatar
Sergeant Dukasaur
Community Team
Community Team
 
Posts: 28161
Joined: Sat Nov 20, 2010 4:49 pm
Location: Beautiful Niagara
32

Re: Noah's ark, a new beginning.

Postby MeDeFe on Wed Sep 11, 2013 7:39 am

You have to read between the lines, Dukasaur.
universalchiro wrote:It's a SF comedy.

See?
saxitoxin wrote:Your position is more complex than the federal tax code. As soon as I think I understand it, I find another index of cross-references, exceptions and amendments I have to apply.
Timminz wrote:Yo mama is so classless, she could be a Marxist utopia.
User avatar
Major MeDeFe
 
Posts: 7831
Joined: Thu Apr 06, 2006 2:48 am
Location: Follow the trail of holes in other people's arguments.

Next

Return to Acceptable Content

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users