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Pack Rat wrote:if it quacks like a duck and walk like a duck, it's still fascism
viewtopic.php?f=8&t=241668&start=200#p5349880
patches70 wrote:Man, I worked at a restaurant and every Wednesday was delivery day. The trucking company was Monarch. One Wednesday morning I'm driving to work and I notice a Monarch truck on the side of the road. I wonder if that truck was supposed to be coming to my store later. A few miles down the road I see a guy walking on the side of the road in what looks to be a Monarch shirt. Hell, I pull over and tell him to hop in.
He gets in the car and all he has with him is a brown paper bag. I notice then that he wasn't wearing a Monarch shirt and I'd never seen this guy before. But its kind of too late to tell him to gtfo so I pull back onto the road. I ask "car troubles?".
Mother fucker stares out the window and ignores me completely. He has this look on his face, I can't describe it but even now many years later it makes me shiver.
"Where you want me to drop you off?" I ask the guy. Still, he completely ignores me and just keeps staring out the front window. I'm getting really nervous now and I always carried this little wooden baseball bat along the side of my seat, just in case you know. I could knock someone senseless with it if I ever had to. So being nervous and all I put my left hand on the handle of that bat and am ready to smash the guys face if he tries anything.
But he just keeps staring out the window clutching that brown paper bag in his lap. So I ask him, "Hey, what's in the bag?"
He turns to me with this look on his face that was a mix between sneer and scowl and he growls "None of your fucking business."
I had enough. I whipped the wheel hard and skidded off the road, slamming the brakes to bring the car to a stop. The guy wasn't expecting it so he was hanging on for dear life. As soon as the car came to a stop I went ballistic. I pulled that bat out and screamed "Get the f*ck out before I smash your fucking face you f*ck!". I was screaming, probably spitting, figuring if I act crazy enough the guy won't f*ck with me.
It worked, I scared the shit out of him. That son of a bitch scrambled like a scared duckling, he even smacked his forehead as he was bolting from my car. I peeled out the instant he was out, his door closing on its own from the violent force of me spinning out of there. I let out a hearty laugh as I went down the road and guffawed when I noticed that the guy was in such a hurry he forgot to take his brown paper bag.
I don't pick up hitchhikers anymore.
Pack Rat wrote:if it quacks like a duck and walk like a duck, it's still fascism
viewtopic.php?f=8&t=241668&start=200#p5349880
saxitoxin wrote:What was in it?
patches70 wrote:saxitoxin wrote:What was in it?
None of your fucking business!!!!!
patches70 wrote:saxitoxin wrote:What was in it?
None of your fucking business!!!!!
Pack Rat wrote:if it quacks like a duck and walk like a duck, it's still fascism
viewtopic.php?f=8&t=241668&start=200#p5349880
patches70 wrote:saxitoxin wrote:What was in it?
None of your fucking business!!!!!
Metsfanmax wrote:patches70 wrote:saxitoxin wrote:What was in it?
None of your fucking business!!!!!
Really though, what was in it?
Funkyterrance wrote:Metsfanmax wrote:patches70 wrote:saxitoxin wrote:What was in it?
None of your fucking business!!!!!
Really though, what was in it?
It was filled to the brim with human semen. Are you guys happy now? The story was perfect, just leave it!
Metsfanmax wrote:Funkyterrance wrote:Metsfanmax wrote:patches70 wrote:saxitoxin wrote:What was in it?
None of your fucking business!!!!!
Really though, what was in it?
It was filled to the brim with human semen. Are you guys happy now? The story was perfect, just leave it!
The story gave me massive blueballs and I demand that patches finish the job
saxitoxin wrote:Stopped at a desolate rest stop in southern Oregon once driving north up the 5. Two hitchhikers from Utah had been stranded there for two days. I think they were going to harvest marijuana somewhere. Can't recall the name of that job. They said they hated Oregon because of the trees; they preferred the desert. I drove them as far as Grant's Pass where one of them thought he knew someone.
patches70 wrote:Metsfanmax wrote:Funkyterrance wrote:Metsfanmax wrote:patches70 wrote:saxitoxin wrote:What was in it?
None of your fucking business!!!!!
Really though, what was in it?
It was filled to the brim with human semen. Are you guys happy now? The story was perfect, just leave it!
The story gave me massive blueballs and I demand that patches finish the job
Saxi provided the ending.
2dimes wrote:Another time Patches was driving for Monarch trucking with his monkey. On a long desert highway cool wind in his hair. He picked up a hitch hiker. They drive a way and suddenly he slaps the monkey. It flies across the cab of the truck. Shakes it off scrambles back over to Patches and gives him head just like the guy in OP.
The hitch hiker decides to just play cool and not ask questions.
After a while Patches back hands the monkey again, same deal. After the monkey is done Patches asks, "You wanna try?" The hitch hiker says...
patches70 wrote:Oh, and this is disturbing.saxitoxin wrote:Stopped at a desolate rest stop in southern Oregon once driving north up the 5. Two hitchhikers from Utah had been stranded there for two days. I think they were going to harvest marijuana somewhere. Can't recall the name of that job. They said they hated Oregon because of the trees; they preferred the desert. I drove them as far as Grant's Pass where one of them thought he knew someone.
Don't think I didn't see what you did there, Saxi....
Pack Rat wrote:if it quacks like a duck and walk like a duck, it's still fascism
viewtopic.php?f=8&t=241668&start=200#p5349880
patches70 wrote:2dimes wrote:Another time Patches was driving for Monarch trucking with his monkey. On a long desert highway cool wind in his hair. He picked up a hitch hiker. They drive a way and suddenly he slaps the monkey. It flies across the cab of the truck. Shakes it off scrambles back over to Patches and gives him head just like the guy in OP.
The hitch hiker decides to just play cool and not ask questions.
After a while Patches back hands the monkey again, same deal. After the monkey is done Patches asks, "You wanna try?" The hitch hiker says...
"OK but don't hit me as hard as the monkey."
2dimes wrote:Another time Patches was driving for Monarch trucking with his monkey. On a long desert highway cool wind in his hair. He picked up a hitch hiker. They drive a way and suddenly he slaps the monkey. It flies across the cab of the truck. Shakes it off scrambles back over to Patches and gives him head just like the guy in OP.
The hitch hiker decides to just play cool and not ask questions.
After a while Patches back hands the monkey again, same deal. After the monkey is done Patches asks, "You wanna try?" The hitch hiker says...
2dimes wrote:patches70 wrote:2dimes wrote:Another time Patches was driving for Monarch trucking with his monkey. On a long desert highway cool wind in his hair. He picked up a hitch hiker. They drive a way and suddenly he slaps the monkey. It flies across the cab of the truck. Shakes it off scrambles back over to Patches and gives him head just like the guy in OP.
The hitch hiker decides to just play cool and not ask questions.
After a while Patches back hands the monkey again, same deal. After the monkey is done Patches asks, "You wanna try?" The hitch hiker says...
"OK but don't hit me as hard as the monkey."
Used to do that one to taunt someone in the group. Telling it with them as the gay hitchhiker.
saxitoxin wrote:Stopped at a desolate rest stop in southern Oregon once driving north up the 5. Two hitchhikers from Utah had been stranded there for two days. I think they were going to harvest marijuana somewhere. Can't recall the name of that job. They said they hated Oregon because of the trees; they preferred the desert. I drove them as far as Grant's Pass where one of them thought he knew someone.
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