Chuck Norris Facts

[Army of GOD]

Hammer Time takes place during Norris Time

[frankiebee]

Chuck Norris invented McGill University.

A good joke, but to set the record straight: Chuck Norris was invented at McGill University before Chuck Norris invented McGill University.

No chance, Chuck Norris was first.

[BigBallinStalin]

Chuck Norris invented McGill University.

A good joke, but to set the record straight: Chuck Norris was invented at McGill University before Chuck Norris invented McGill University.

No chance, Chuck Norris was first.

These tests of my faith in the undeniable powers of McGill University were invented shortly after McGill University invented Chuck Norris who then invented what McGill University had already invented.

[Streaker]

Chuck Norris invented Conquer Club.

That, my dear Sir, is a lie! Everyone knows that CC was invented at MCGill university, in 1903.
Chuck Norris made McGill though, microseconds after McGill University invented Chuck Norris.

[cyrenius]

Facts?!? Not so sure about that but...just to play along...

Follow these steps:
1. Go to Google.com
2. Type in "Find Chuck Norris"
3. Click the "I'm feeling lucky" button
4. Laugh (out loud)

LMAO

[bruno fountain]

Chuck norris does not do push up's. He pushes the earth down.

[brian fletcher]

Chuck Norris was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.

If you play Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven" backwards, you will hear Chuck Norris banging your sister.

[kazoo]

According to Chuck Norris, theres no table of elements... only the element of SUPRISE!

[rattius]

Chuck norris beat the sun in a staring contest

[happy2seeyou]

Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. There is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.

[Trephining]

Chuck Norris can still buy full half gallons of ice cream rather than the 48 oz containers.

[john9blue]

That's because he just buys ice bags and roundhouse kicks them, turning them instantly into ice cream. He drinks the vanilla extract separately.

[bedub1]

Chuck Norris and McGill University are like the Chicken and the Egg. It's just part of the mystery surrounding Chuck Norris.

[Army of GOD]

Chuck Norris resurrected 2 days after he died. Suck on that, Jesus!

[BigBallinStalin]

That's because he just buys ice bags and roundhouse kicks them, turning them instantly into ice cream. He drinks the vanilla extract separately.

ice cream is plastic + ice cubes + vanilla extract?

Chuck Norris would not approve and will soon turn you into ice cream.


He will be making you pay for his visit to your house because Chuck Norris doesn't pay anybody.

[Trephining]

Chuck Norris never gets bored playing Monopoly.

[Pedronicus]

* Chuck Norris Botnet Attacks Linux-Based Routers

[Army of GOD]

Chuck Norris can win Monopoly while only owning the Purples.

[Trephining]

Chuck Norris has a few extra ketchup packets in his glovebox.

[thegreekdog]

They tried to put Chuck Norris on a demotivational poster, but it just motivated everyone.

[BigBallinStalin]

Chuck Norris can win Monopoly while only owning the Purples.

Chuck Norris doesn't need properties to win Monopoly.

[john9blue]

Chuck Norris always picks the shoe token in Monopoly. The shoe proceeds to roundhouse kick the money out of everyone else before they reach Electric Company.

[Army of GOD]

Chuck Norris doesn't move his piece. The board rotates around it.

[Trephining]

When Chuck Norris rolls dice, Chile experiences an earthquake.

[Pedronicus]

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.