Two Germans walk into a bar

\\OFF-TOPIC// conversations about everything that has nothing to do with Conquer Club.

Moderator: Community Team

Forum rules
Please read the Community Guidelines before posting.
User avatar
barackattack
Posts: 88
Joined: Sat Nov 26, 2011 6:12 pm
Location: Amstetten's Ybbsstrasse Number 4

Two Germans walk into a bar

Post by barackattack »

The British Empire was the largest empire the world has ever seen.
The two most popular sports in the world are soccer and cricket. These are English games.
English is the world's language, spoken by over 1 billion people.
The world's greatest playwright ever was Shakespeare - an Englishman.
The world's oldest school and the world's oldest university are both English. The world's leading university is English.
As well as the British Overseas Territories, the Queen is head of state of 16 independent countries and a global organisation whose membership includes 54 countries and 30% of the world's population.
The world's best selling book ever is A Tale of Two Cities, written by English author Charles Dickens.
The FA Premier League is the world's most watched soccer league.
You all know who Harry Potter is, and he isn't even real.
justin bieber charlie sheen rebecca black nude naked paris hilton slut xxx dirty free teen school abuse torture iraq soldier gingrich paul tea party 9/11 conspiracy bush oil ryan dunn video dead steve jobs apple sucks
User avatar
nietzsche
Posts: 4597
Joined: Sun Feb 11, 2007 1:29 am
Gender: Female
Location: Fantasy Cooperstown

Re: Two Germans walk into a bar

Post by nietzsche »

cricket? really?
el cartoncito mas triste del mundo
User avatar
john9blue
Posts: 1268
Joined: Mon Aug 20, 2007 6:18 pm
Gender: Male
Location: FlutterChi-town

Re: Two Germans walk into a bar

Post by john9blue »

i'm still waiting for the punch line
natty_dread wrote:Do ponies have sex?
Army of GOD wrote:the term heterosexual is offensive. I prefer to be called "normal"
(proud member of the Occasionally Wrongly Banned)
User avatar
barackattack
Posts: 88
Joined: Sat Nov 26, 2011 6:12 pm
Location: Amstetten's Ybbsstrasse Number 4

Re: Two Germans walk into a bar

Post by barackattack »

nietzsche wrote:cricket? really?


Indians love it
justin bieber charlie sheen rebecca black nude naked paris hilton slut xxx dirty free teen school abuse torture iraq soldier gingrich paul tea party 9/11 conspiracy bush oil ryan dunn video dead steve jobs apple sucks
User avatar
nietzsche
Posts: 4597
Joined: Sun Feb 11, 2007 1:29 am
Gender: Female
Location: Fantasy Cooperstown

Re: Two Germans walk into a bar

Post by nietzsche »

they also love cows..
el cartoncito mas triste del mundo
User avatar
saxitoxin
Posts: 13415
Joined: Fri Jun 05, 2009 1:01 am
Gender: Male
Contact:

Re: Two Germans walk into a bar

Post by saxitoxin »

The human species originated in Azerbaijan. And, today, Azerbaijan is the world's leading political, military, cultural and industrial power.

We need more threads in the Club about places like Azerbaijan, Macedonia, England, Mongolia, etc. Kudos to barackattack for taking the bull by the horns.
Last edited by saxitoxin on Tue Jan 03, 2012 8:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Pack Rat wrote:if it quacks like a duck and walk like a duck, it's still fascism

viewtopic.php?f=8&t=241668&start=200#p5349880
Commander9
Posts: 757
Joined: Fri Aug 22, 2008 1:51 am
Gender: Male
Location: In between Lithuania/USA.
Contact:

Re: Two Germans walk into a bar

Post by Commander9 »

barackattack wrote:The British Empire was the largest empire the world has ever seen.
The two most popular sports in the world are soccer and cricket. These are English games.
English is the world's language, spoken by over 1 billion people.
The world's greatest playwright ever was Shakespeare - an Englishman.
The world's oldest school and the world's oldest university are both English. The world's leading university is English.
As well as the British Overseas Territories, the Queen is head of state of 16 independent countries and a global organisation whose membership includes 54 countries and 30% of the world's population.
The world's best selling book ever is A Tale of Two Cities, written by English author Charles Dickens.
The FA Premier League is the world's most watched soccer league.
You all know who Harry Potter is, and he isn't even real.


I'm quite certain that best playwright would be from Ancient Greece - not England, although I do agree that this is debatable.
First of all... It's football - soccer is only played in US and Australia. Secondly... CRICKET is not the 2nd most popular sport.
Mandarin also has over a billion people that speak it.
If I am not mistaken, the world's oldest university is based in Italy.
Harvard is not in UK, I believe.
I'm quite certain that the Bible was not written by Charles Dickens.
Most watched doesn't equal the best.
'Arry who?

Pointless thread even without these errors.
But... It was so artistically done.
User avatar
saxitoxin
Posts: 13415
Joined: Fri Jun 05, 2009 1:01 am
Gender: Male
Contact:

Re: Two Germans walk into a bar

Post by saxitoxin »

Commander9 wrote:
barackattack wrote:The British Empire was the largest empire the world has ever seen.
The two most popular sports in the world are soccer and cricket. These are English games.
English is the world's language, spoken by over 1 billion people.
The world's greatest playwright ever was Shakespeare - an Englishman.
The world's oldest school and the world's oldest university are both English. The world's leading university is English.
As well as the British Overseas Territories, the Queen is head of state of 16 independent countries and a global organisation whose membership includes 54 countries and 30% of the world's population.
The world's best selling book ever is A Tale of Two Cities, written by English author Charles Dickens.
The FA Premier League is the world's most watched soccer league.
You all know who Harry Potter is, and he isn't even real.


I'm quite certain that best playwright would be from Ancient Greece - not England, although I do agree that this is debatable.
First of all... It's football - soccer is only played in US and Australia. Secondly... CRICKET is not the 2nd most popular sport.
Mandarin also has over a billion people that speak it.
If I am not mistaken, the world's oldest university is based in Italy.
Harvard is not in UK, I believe.I'm quite certain that the Bible was not written by Charles Dickens.
Most watched doesn't equal the best.
'Arry who?
Pointless thread even without these errors.


I saw you weren't able to come up with a witty retort for this one, anglophobe:

the Queen is head of state of 16 independent countries


The Queen's vast empire of Barbados, Tuvalu, the Solomon Islands, Antigua, Saint Kitts & Nevis, Grenada, Papua New Guinea, etc. makes her one of the most powerful women in the world*, ruling nations with a population that numbers well in excess of 78 people.

* after Judy Chang, swing shift manager of the downtown Calgary KFC, and a few others

KEEP FIGHTING THE GOOD FIGHT, BARACKATTACK. WE SUPPORT YOU.
Pack Rat wrote:if it quacks like a duck and walk like a duck, it's still fascism

viewtopic.php?f=8&t=241668&start=200#p5349880
User avatar
pimpdave
Posts: 1083
Joined: Fri Nov 30, 2007 10:15 am
Gender: Male
Location: Anti Tea Party Death Squad Task Force Headquarters
Contact:

Re: Two Germans walk into a bar

Post by pimpdave »

England is dumb.
Scotland is worse.
Ireland isn't even a real place it's so awful.
jay_a2j wrote:hey if any1 would like me to make them a signature or like an avator just let me no, my sig below i did, and i also did "panther 88" so i can do something like that for u if ud like...
User avatar
Timminz
Posts: 5579
Joined: Tue Feb 27, 2007 1:05 pm
Gender: Male
Location: At the store

Re: Two Germans walk into a bar

Post by Timminz »

Commander9 wrote:
barackattack wrote:The British Empire was the largest empire the world has ever seen.
The two most popular sports in the world are soccer and cricket. These are English games.
English is the world's language, spoken by over 1 billion people.
The world's greatest playwright ever was Shakespeare - an Englishman.
The world's oldest school and the world's oldest university are both English. The world's leading university is English.
As well as the British Overseas Territories, the Queen is head of state of 16 independent countries and a global organisation whose membership includes 54 countries and 30% of the world's population.
The world's best selling book ever is A Tale of Two Cities, written by English author Charles Dickens.
The FA Premier League is the world's most watched soccer league.
You all know who Harry Potter is, and he isn't even real.


I'm quite certain that best playwright would be from Ancient Greece - not England, although I do agree that this is debatable.
First of all... It's football - soccer is only played in US and Australia. Secondly... CRICKET is not the 2nd most popular sport.
Mandarin also has over a billion people that speak it.
If I am not mistaken, the world's oldest university is based in Italy.
Harvard is not in UK, I believe.
I'm quite certain that the Bible was not written by Charles Dickens.
Most watched doesn't equal the best.
'Arry who?

Pointless thread even without these errors.


You need to learn how to pick colours better.
User avatar
pimpdave
Posts: 1083
Joined: Fri Nov 30, 2007 10:15 am
Gender: Male
Location: Anti Tea Party Death Squad Task Force Headquarters
Contact:

Re: Two Germans walk into a bar

Post by pimpdave »

Also, yeah, it's soccer. Football is a made up name for soccer by the inferiority-complex ridden English to do a cultural superiority dance, which is dumb, like their dumb country.

It was called soccer first in England. They invented the word over there! We've been over this, and barackattack clearly acknowledges it in this thread by referring to the game as soccer, it's true name.
jay_a2j wrote:hey if any1 would like me to make them a signature or like an avator just let me no, my sig below i did, and i also did "panther 88" so i can do something like that for u if ud like...
User avatar
oVo
Posts: 3864
Joined: Fri Jan 26, 2007 1:41 pm
Location: Antarctica

Re: Two Germans walk into a bar

Post by oVo »

The cricket is a prime source of protein in many parts of the world
and Peru has 5000 varieties of potatoes.
User avatar
chang50
Posts: 659
Joined: Thu Sep 04, 2008 4:54 am
Gender: Male
Location: pattaya,thailand

Re: Two Germans walk into a bar

Post by chang50 »

pimpdave wrote:Also, yeah, it's soccer. Football is a made up name for soccer by the inferiority-complex ridden English to do a cultural superiority dance, which is dumb, like their dumb country.

It was called soccer first in England. They invented the word over there! We've been over this, and barackattack clearly acknowledges it in this thread by referring to the game as soccer, it's true name.


The sport's full name is Association football,which later was abbreviated to soccer.I lived in the Uk for 50 years and went to hundreds of games where virtually no-one called the game soccer.In the birthplace of the beautiful game it is generally called football.
User avatar
chang50
Posts: 659
Joined: Thu Sep 04, 2008 4:54 am
Gender: Male
Location: pattaya,thailand

Re: Two Germans walk into a bar

Post by chang50 »

barackattack wrote:The British Empire was the largest empire the world has ever seen.
The two most popular sports in the world are soccer and cricket. These are English games.
English is the world's language, spoken by over 1 billion people.
The world's greatest playwright ever was Shakespeare - an Englishman.
The world's oldest school and the world's oldest university are both English. The world's leading university is English.
As well as the British Overseas Territories, the Queen is head of state of 16 independent countries and a global organisation whose membership includes 54 countries and 30% of the world's population.
The world's best selling book ever is A Tale of Two Cities, written by English author Charles Dickens.
The FA Premier League is the world's most watched soccer league.
You all know who Harry Potter is, and he isn't even real.


Agreed mostly except I'm not sure the English spoken in the ex-colonies qualifies as the Queen's English..:)
User avatar
CPD SARGE
Posts: 19
Joined: Fri May 28, 2010 6:50 pm
Gender: Male
Location: Deep in the heart of Texas!

Re: Two Germans walk into a bar

Post by CPD SARGE »

All quiet interesting but the yellow print makes my eyes bleed! :-P
“Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice. Pull down your pants and slide on the ice!” - Dr Sydney Friedman
User avatar
barackattack
Posts: 88
Joined: Sat Nov 26, 2011 6:12 pm
Location: Amstetten's Ybbsstrasse Number 4

Re: Two Germans walk into a bar

Post by barackattack »

I removed the colour because it offended my eyes.

Commander9 wrote:I'm quite certain that best playwright would be from Ancient Greece - not England, although I do agree that this is debatable.


Either you never went to school or you're just attempting to be controversial. 1: name any Greek playwright you consider to be better than Shakespeare (no Googling 'Greek playwrights'!); and 2: Shakespeare. Shakespeare. Shakespeare,

Commander9 wrote:First of all... It's football - soccer is only played in US and Australia. Secondly... CRICKET is not the 2nd most popular sport.


Oh. Are your assumptions now considered fact? Google is your friend

India, Pakistan and Bangladesh have a combined population of about 1.4 billion. And guess what sport they all love there? Cricket! :)

(PEE.ESS. At my school, in England, we called it 'soccer')

Commander9 wrote:Mandarin also has over a billion people that speak it.


Is Mandarin the 'world's language'? No. The international language of trade and diplomacy is English. Mandarin is almost only spoken in China.

Commonder9 wrote:Harvard is not in UK, I believe.


http://www.topuniversities.com/universi ... kings/2011

Nope, but Cambridge is.

Commander9 wrote:I'm quite certain that the Bible was not written by Charles Dickens.


That isn't a novel, and either way there are no reliable figures for the sale of holy books.

Commander9 wrote:Most watched doesn't equal the best.


I didn't say that. I said it's the most watched. Which it is.
justin bieber charlie sheen rebecca black nude naked paris hilton slut xxx dirty free teen school abuse torture iraq soldier gingrich paul tea party 9/11 conspiracy bush oil ryan dunn video dead steve jobs apple sucks
User avatar
john9blue
Posts: 1268
Joined: Mon Aug 20, 2007 6:18 pm
Gender: Male
Location: FlutterChi-town

Re: Two Germans walk into a bar

Post by john9blue »

barackattack wrote:
Commonder9 wrote:Harvard is not in UK, I believe.


http://www.topuniversities.com/universi ... kings/2011

Nope, but Cambridge is.


since random people assigned cambridge a higher number than harvard, it must be a better school than harvard.

what a coincidence that 4 of the world's top 7 colleges are in a relatively small country of 50 million. sounds unbiased to me :roll:
natty_dread wrote:Do ponies have sex?
Army of GOD wrote:the term heterosexual is offensive. I prefer to be called "normal"
(proud member of the Occasionally Wrongly Banned)
User avatar
comic boy
Posts: 1738
Joined: Mon Jan 01, 2007 3:54 pm
Location: London

Re: Two Germans walk into a bar

Post by comic boy »

john9blue wrote:
barackattack wrote:
Commonder9 wrote:Harvard is not in UK, I believe.


http://www.topuniversities.com/universi ... kings/2011

Nope, but Cambridge is.


since random people assigned cambridge a higher number than harvard, it must be a better school than harvard.

what a coincidence that 4 of the world's top 7 colleges are in a relatively small country of 50 million. sounds unbiased to me :roll:


Come back to us when you have discovered the difference between a university and a college.
Im a TOFU miSfit
User avatar
john9blue
Posts: 1268
Joined: Mon Aug 20, 2007 6:18 pm
Gender: Male
Location: FlutterChi-town

Re: Two Germans walk into a bar

Post by john9blue »

comic boy wrote:
john9blue wrote:
barackattack wrote:
Commonder9 wrote:Harvard is not in UK, I believe.


http://www.topuniversities.com/universi ... kings/2011

Nope, but Cambridge is.


since random people assigned cambridge a higher number than harvard, it must be a better school than harvard.

what a coincidence that 4 of the world's top 7 colleges are in a relatively small country of 50 million. sounds unbiased to me :roll:


Come back to us when you have discovered the difference between a university and a college.


so then what do you think are the world's top colleges?
natty_dread wrote:Do ponies have sex?
Army of GOD wrote:the term heterosexual is offensive. I prefer to be called "normal"
(proud member of the Occasionally Wrongly Banned)
User avatar
zimmah
Posts: 1652
Joined: Fri Jun 01, 2007 12:43 pm
Gender: Male
Location: VDLL

Re: Two Germans walk into a bar

Post by zimmah »

barackattack wrote:
Commander9 wrote:I'm quite certain that the Bible was not written by Charles Dickens.


That isn't a novel, and either way there are no reliable figures for the sale of holy books.



i'm 100% sure the bible has way more then 200 million sold copies. it's probably over a billion. maybe even over 6 billion (yes i know that almost exceeds world population, but the bible has also been sold in the past to people who are now dead and a lot of religious and even non-religious people have more then 1 bible. our household has at least 20 bibles divided over 4 persons (and a lot of other religious and old/historical books) it's not unlikely the amount of bibles sold exceeds world population. (just like mobile phones, and mobile phone numbers. i believe the average number of phone numbers a person has in the netherlands is over 3.)
[bigimg]http://sense4seo.nl/signatures/sig-zimmah.jpg[/bigimg]
User avatar
saxitoxin
Posts: 13415
Joined: Fri Jun 05, 2009 1:01 am
Gender: Male
Contact:

Re: Two Germans walk into a bar

Post by saxitoxin »

I find it odd that 11 of the 15 "world's top universities" are from the United States and the other 4 from the UK. Germany, France, Canada, Japan, Italy, Sweden, etc., can't manage to get a single school to crack the top 15? L'École Nationale, Humboldt (ol' Saxi's own alma mater :o ), etc. are just blah compared to freakin' CalTech? CALTECH?! This sounds like an anglocentric ranking.

    But, whatever. In any case, I still want to hear about the vast power reservoir ERII enjoys as the ceremonial head of those 16 mighty super-states BA mentioned (Barbados, Jamaica, Belize, Grenada, etc.). LMAO, ol' Saxi got a chuckle out of that :P It cushioned the blow of learning Humboldt wasn't in the top 15 anyway ... at least McGill scraped its way into the Top 20 ... :(

Pack Rat wrote:if it quacks like a duck and walk like a duck, it's still fascism

viewtopic.php?f=8&t=241668&start=200#p5349880
PLAYER57832
Posts: 3085
Joined: Fri Sep 21, 2007 9:17 am
Gender: Female
Location: Pennsylvania

Re: Two Germans walk into a bar

Post by PLAYER57832 »

oVo wrote:The cricket is a prime source of protein in many parts of the world
and Peru has 5000 varieties of potatoes.

Peru has 5000 varieties of potatoes, and something like 90% of US corn is all oneof 3 particular hybrids.
ManBungalow
Posts: 3431
Joined: Sun Jan 13, 2008 7:02 am
Location: On a giant rock orbiting a star somewhere

Re: Two Germans walk into a bar

Post by ManBungalow »

PLAYER57832 wrote:
oVo wrote:The cricket is a prime source of protein in many parts of the world
and Peru has 5000 varieties of potatoes.

Peru has 5000 varieties of potatoes, and something like 90% of US corn is all oneof 3 particular hybrids.

Thanks ijex.
Image
User avatar
barackattack
Posts: 88
Joined: Sat Nov 26, 2011 6:12 pm
Location: Amstetten's Ybbsstrasse Number 4

Re: Two Germans walk into a bar

Post by barackattack »

john9blue wrote:what a coincidence that 4 of the world's top 7 *universities are in a relatively small country of 50 million. sounds unbiased to me :roll:


I believe this is a league table of 'top universities', not 'largest countries'.
justin bieber charlie sheen rebecca black nude naked paris hilton slut xxx dirty free teen school abuse torture iraq soldier gingrich paul tea party 9/11 conspiracy bush oil ryan dunn video dead steve jobs apple sucks
betiko
Posts: 10941
Joined: Fri Feb 25, 2011 3:05 pm
Gender: Male
Location: location, location

Re: Two Germans walk into a bar

Post by betiko »

i think british people have a lot to brag about. the good thing is that most british people don't brag about it, because they are often smart and have a good sense of humour. they would rather throw stones at their roof and use auto-derision than talking greatly about all what their nation brought to the world.

Unfortunately for you barackattack, you lack of this witty british humour. can you be considered as one of them? not the good and funny ones I like to have pints in pubs with probably! ;-)
Image
Post Reply

Return to “Acceptable Content”