Two Germans walk into a bar

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2dimes
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Post by 2dimes »

You would have thought the second one would duck under it.

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Re: Two Germans walk into a bar

Post by KoolBak »

You neglected the GOOD things that you Brits have supplied the world:

The Stones
Monty Python
Benny hill
The Beatles (not a fan, but one can't ignore them)

Australia's most awesome donation to the world:

AC/DC

:D
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riskllama wrote:Koolbak wins this thread.
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2dimes
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Re: Two Germans walk into a bar

Post by 2dimes »

KoolBak wrote:Australia's Scotland's most awesome donation to the world via Australia:

AC/DC

:D

There ya go.
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KoolBak
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Re: Two Germans walk into a bar

Post by KoolBak »

You got too much time on your hands, airplane boy :lol:

They are Australian, no matter that the young brothers were born in scotland :twisted:
"Gypsy told my fortune...she said that nothin showed...."

Neil Young....Like An Inca

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riskllama wrote:Koolbak wins this thread.
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2dimes
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Post by 2dimes »

Probably.
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Post by 2dimes »

How did you slip in the super fast edit. Now that they have money Angus for sure and I think most of them, moved back home. His myspace page used to be hillarious. He was actually responding to people on it and there was pictures of him just hanging around in his Garden pulling weeds and stuff.
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Re: Two Germans walk into a bar

Post by oVo »

KoolBak wrote:You neglected the GOOD things that you Brits have supplied the world:
Monty Python

I'm guessing you've never seen a Marx Brothers' movie?
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Re: Two Germans walk into a bar

Post by barackattack »

The only thing Scotland gives the world is being a kind of international version of a chat show guest. Whenever someone from, say, Afghanistan is feeling blue they can look at Scotland's Wikipedia page and think 'thank God we don't have it that bad'.

It's nice of Scotland to make that sacrifice in the name of global happiness.
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Re: Two Germans walk into a bar

Post by InkL0sed »

Other things for England to be proud of: its genocidal Queen.

http://exopolitics.blogs.com/breaking_n ... chool.html
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Re: Two Germans walk into a bar

Post by barackattack »

InkL0sed wrote:Other things for England to be proud of: its genocidal Queen.

http://exopolitics.blogs.com/breaking_n ... chool.html


If Queen Elizabeth is responsible for Canadian policy (Canada being totally independent of the UK) then that says more about Canada than the UK.

I'd also question your story, seeing as one mad blogger is the best source you've got.
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2dimes
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Post by 2dimes »

oVo wrote:
KoolBak wrote:You neglected the GOOD things that you Brits have supplied the world:
Monty Python

I'm guessing you've never seen a Marx Brothers' movie?

Not an entire one. :|
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Re: Two Germans walk into a bar

Post by pimpdave »

Not all the Pythons were British.
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Re: Two Germs walk into a bar

Post by oVo »

pimpdave wrote:Not all the Pythons were British.

and none of the Marx Brothers were either.
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Re: Two Germans walk into a bar

Post by KoolBak »

Strike that then :roll:
"Gypsy told my fortune...she said that nothin showed...."

Neil Young....Like An Inca

AND:
riskllama wrote:Koolbak wins this thread.
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Re: Two Germans walk into a bar

Post by InkL0sed »

barackattack wrote:
InkL0sed wrote:Other things for England to be proud of: its genocidal Queen.

http://exopolitics.blogs.com/breaking_n ... chool.html


If Queen Elizabeth is responsible for Canadian policy (Canada being totally independent of the UK) then that says more about Canada than the UK.

I'd also question your story, seeing as one mad blogger is the best source you've got.

No, this is actually the real source: http://itccs.org/2011/12/06/the-bone-th ... nt-canada/
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Re: Two Germans walk into a bar

Post by Timminz »

Come on now Ink. Everyone knows that Anglican churches, in a commonwealth country have absolutely nothing to do with the Queen.
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Re: Two Irishmen crawl into a pub

Post by oVo »

Is England also the origin of Spotted Dick?
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Re: Two Irishmen crawl into a pub

Post by Timminz »

oVo wrote:Is England also the origin of Spotted Dick?


Is England Serbia's mom?
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Re: Two Irishmen crawl into a pub

Post by ManBungalow »

Timminz wrote:
oVo wrote:Is England also the origin of Spotted Dick?


Is England Serbia's mom?

I don't know, but lots of people have been there.
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Re: Two Germans walk into a bar

Post by General Brock II »

betiko wrote:i think british people have a lot to brag about. the good thing is that most british people don't brag about it, because they are often smart and have a good sense of humour. they would rather throw stones at their roof and use auto-derision than talking greatly about all what their nation brought to the world.

Unfortunately for you barackattack, you lack of this witty british humour. can you be considered as one of them? not the good and funny ones I like to have pints in pubs with probably! ;-)


Betiko's got a point, and I now have to weigh in on this conversation. :P

The British Empire was the largest empire the world has ever seen. - True
The two most popular sports in the world are soccer and cricket. These are English games. - True
English is the world's language, spoken by over 1 billion people. - True
The world's greatest playwright ever was Shakespeare - an Englishman. - True
The world's oldest school and the world's oldest university are both English. The world's leading university is English. - False. The University of Bologna was the first higher-learning institute established in the Western world in 1088. Oxford and the University of Paris weren't founded until 1096. I do tend to agree that the world's leading University is English.
As well as the British Overseas Territories, the Queen is head of state of 16 independent countries and a global organisation whose membership includes 54 countries and 30% of the world's population. - True
The world's best selling book ever is A Tale of Two Cities, written by English author Charles Dickens. - False. The Bible is the best selling "Book" in the world. Not only that, but more Bibles have been printed throughout history than Dickens entire works. Additionally, however, the Bible was first translated into English in England. The King James Bible is one of the more popular translations, today.


Queen Elizabeth isn't responsible for Canada's policy, but as "Head of State," she could theoretically refuse (through her representative) to allow any legislation to be enacted. For some unfortunate reason, she hasn't exercised that power... However, the Queen is more powerful in England than you think... Ever wondered about the private meetings she's had with the Prime Minister, and then sudden changes in policy? hmmm....
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Re: Two Germans walk into a bar

Post by john9blue »

barackattack wrote:
john9blue wrote:what a coincidence that 4 of the world's top 7 *universities are in a relatively small country of 50 million. sounds unbiased to me :roll:


I believe this is a league table of 'top universities', not 'largest countries'.


firstly, all universities ARE colleges, and are also (presumably) the best colleges in the world.

secondly, in america the words "college" and "university" are interchangeable

so my use of the word "college" is 100% correct.

i do not make errors with the english language.
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Re: Two Germans walk into a bar

Post by nietzsche »

What is most interesting that the achievements is the character, the culture and the mindset that produces those achievements.

Care to comment on that?
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Re: Two Germans walk into a bar

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The British Empire was the largest empire the world has ever seen. - True


Only using the same logic by which every annual summer movie blockbuster becomes "the highest grossing film of all time!!!!"

At its height, the British Empire ruled territory inhabited by 20% of the world's population.
At its height, the Mongol Empire ruled territory inhabited by 25% of the world's population.
At its height, the Tang Dynasty ruled territory inhabited by 29% of the world's population.
At its height, the Roman Empire ruled territory inhabited by 30% of the world's population.
At its height, the Islamic Caliphate ruled territory inhabited by 31% of the world's population.
At its height, the Samraat Grip ruled territory inhabited by 33% of the world's population.
At its height, the Persian Empire ruled territory inhabited by 45% of the world's population.

English is the world's language, spoken by over 1 billion people. - True


... only a fraction of which are native speakers. This has to do with two factors, neither of which are lauditory: (1) the global economic monopoly the U.S. enjoyed from the 1940s to the 1990s necessitating the internationalization of English, because of, (2) the bizarre inability of native English speakers to obtain fluency in second languages.

The world's greatest playwright ever was Shakespeare - an Englishman. - True


I prefer Nazim Hikmet

As well as the British Overseas Territories, the Queen is head of state of 16 independent countriesTrue


This is, again, beyond laughable. I rarely hear Americans trumpeting the fact that their President is also head-of-state of Guam, the Mariana Islands, etc. Or Frenchmen crowing that their President is also head-of-state of Andorra. People would laugh someone who said that off the stage.

To stand around beating one's chest that ERII is also head-of-state of Barbados and Tuvalu is really sad. It looks like a desperate, nostalgic grasping at the straws of the faded glory of yesteryear.

the Queen


Besides, the Queen isn't even ethnically English - and this is a thread about how great the English are! To hold the Queen up as an example of anything is to hold up the fact that the English are a cowed race.

    TO TOP THAT OFF (! :P ), she's the last member of the genetic House of Windsor! Once Charles takes the throne genetic control of the British throne will pass to the House of Glücksburg, headquartered at Oldenburg Castle in Bavaria and headed by HRH Christoph Duke of Schleswig-Holstein (a very English-sounding name!). Unless you and barackattack capitalize your nouns and put all your verbs at the end of sentences, you're trying to regale us with stories of how wonderful a party is to which neither of you have been invited (except to serve drinks and valet cars for the gaggle of German aristocrats that invaded and cut the balls off your native monarchy).

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Franz Bayern, the man who would today be - if not for the swift introduction of 20,000 German troops from Elizabeth's relatives into downtown London in 1715 to depose England's aboriginal monarchy - King Francis of the United Kingdom, Canada, Australia, etc. - now sadly living the life of a forgotten aristocrat in the 300th year of his family's luxurious exile in Nymphenburg Palace.
Last edited by saxitoxin on Wed Jan 04, 2012 6:50 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: Two Germans walk into a bar

Post by Pedronicus »

BA also forgot to add to the list the greatest film ever made was 100% English.

Ben Hur

Filmed in England
Directed by an Englishwoman
About a historic event in England
Staring an all English cast

Fucking hey!
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Re: Two Germans walk into a bar

Post by barackattack »

Hey, Saxi. The Queen is head of state of Canada, Australia and New Zealand as well, ya know.

saxitoxin wrote:... only a fraction of which are native speakers. This has to do with two factors, neither of which are lauditory: (1) the global economic monopoly the U.S. enjoyed from the 1940s to the 1990s necessitating the internationalization of English, because of, (2) the bizarre inability of native English speakers to obtain fluency in second languages.


I included that point largely because they aren't native speakers. They have to learn our language.

1 - English was international before the US (because of, ya know, the Empire). You think that people at peasant level in Africa speak English so they can buy Coca Cola at the port? No. They learn English because we introduced it to all their countries, and it's the best thing they have to communicate with each other.
2 - We just have absolutely no need to :) I've travelled to 4 different continents, and never once have I needed to use a language other than my own. If you could do that (with a mother tongue that I'm assuming is German) then you would do the same.

(And anyways, if it makes you feel better I can speak German.)
Last edited by barackattack on Wed Jan 04, 2012 7:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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