Conquer Club

granted... but now your gay for even useing said word

I wish someone would come onto MSN and entertain me!

Someone steals your credit cards while MSN distracts you.

I wish there was a cure for the dumb.

granted - that cure is death.

I wish vampires were real.

Granted, but you became a werewolf.

I wish I could die making love to Gena Rowland.

granted, but you die of embarassament for failure to perform.

I wish werewolves didn't get fleas!

Granted but they get way more ticks

I wish the packers defence stopped giving up huge crucial plays

Granted, but they still lose the game on penalties.

I wish I knew who are the Packers.

Granted it seems as though you d know thembut then you find out that they occasionally lose becuase of the special teams

i wish the packers dont trade away their draft pick for crap

Granted they give him away in a charity auction.

I wish that Atlanta would win their division

They do, then get disqualified for cheating.

I wish Seahawks would win the Super Bowl.

they will, but not for the next 300 years

i wish i had a wish

Granted but it's a stupid wish.

I wish that the Patriots would never win another Super Bowl.

The Super Bowl gets renamed the Duper Bowl and they win every one.

I wish I was playing tennis right now.

you are but its just in your pockets

i wish ted thompson gets fired for trading away brett favre

They do but end up in the same "fix" as Atlanta.

I wish I knew more about American sports leagues

ya you find out then decide it is corrrupted and kill yourself

i wish the packers end up in the same *fix* as atlanta

granted, but then Roger Goodell decides the two franchises are too similar and decides to merge the two and move them to Toronto where they play under the name of the Fackers, which angers fans of both teams as well as the FCC who move to shut down the new franchise.

I wish I owned an apple orchard.

you do, but all the apples are rotton!

I wish we hand an angel emoticon -->

granted, but the angel and devil emoticon fight it out, kill each other, and then there is no angel or devil emoticon.

I wish that Christopher Paloni gave me Eragon, Eldest, and Brisingir free of charge.

granted but the pages are soaked

i wish that the us would merge with mexico and canda and take over all the countries we fight and in doing so rule the world!

granted, the but war for global dominance has left the earth a nuclear wasteland and its only you and Rosie O'Donnell left alive to repopulate the world.

I wish the Steinbrenner family would lose all of its money.

Granted but little did you know that they were the last remaining thread keeping the U.S. economy from completing it's nose dive.

I wish the Falcons would win the Super Bowl.

Granted but they then become hobos, break into your house, crap on your furniture, steal your possessions, sleep with your wife, and castrate you before eating your spleen and liver to satisfy their hunger.

I wish that The Learning Channel would stop airing crappy shows like Little People and Jon & Kate and go back to entertaining stuff like Junkyard Wars...

Granted but now all they ever show is one episode of Junkyard Wars over and over again.

I wish the above hadn't happened to me.

Granted but they become emos that are too high to do anything other than sit on a stoop and yell at little kids that all their idols are really drug addicts


i wish i had a rocket-propelled jet-pack