The Off The Cuff Poetry Thread.

[jonesthecurl]

I don't want to hear
all the rhymes that you do.
Let's make this quite clear
they're no better than poo.

[AAFitz]

Im sure youre right
however contrite
as you post in spite
all damn night

but know this now
I care not how
you will say wow
as these rhymes go POW!

I want to mock my self after this one.

[snufkin]

poems read out loud
are horrible indeed
should only be allowed
if you supply the weed

with a buzz in the head
you stop to care
- of what the poet said
you´re almost unaware

now if it is a friend
you join the applause
just simply pretend
it´s good, then hit the sauce!
mocking oneself is always a good idea - better yourself than friends no matter how silly they are

[AAFitz]

Borrowed from other thread:Re: St Patricks Day ode...er, I mean limerick... to Twill

Postby AAFitz »

Twill, we hope you enjoy these today
While you pack, from your very long stay
In the end you'll be fine
Lest you drink too much wine
Leaving CC, must be hard on this day


Twill's name makes it tough for a Limerick
With two L's words don't easily come quick
In the next little groups
Leave before you eat soups
Lest they land in your lap when you get sick


There's an admin leaving named Twill
Whilst On arrival, he faced a big hill
In CC, all a mess
Lad and lass did express
Last of all, he saved many from shrill


Twill was he, they called boss
Without him, they were all lost
It's the mods that regret
Leaving now in a bit
Let CC, never grow any moss


That CC, changes is clear
When some leaves, that some did hold dear
In the days before gone
Lets all ring that big gong
Letting all know respect from bold peers


There was once was a man from Nantucket
When he walked, no one could touch it
In the dawns early light
Leanne called out in fright
Lenny pulled out [candy], and she sucked it


These things get old really quick
While I type, feel the urge to get sick
Its fun, though silly
Leaving Twill, as is he
Lets all be content, for he wasnt a prick.


That ive gone too far, is most clear
When I started, the end was not near
Its addiction I say
Lest my typing wont stay
Leaving now, must I do, I now fear


This is the last limerick for me
When I stop, youll all be happy
Its far past that time
Letters made, to form rhymes
Left before now, I should have made be

[theusual1]

All this poetry is making me mad
To think of all this nonsense is very sad
I cannot see the point in speaking in rhyme
it is almost as bad as eating raw lime
so i put it to you why even speak at all
when eventually all of us great men will fall
maybe i will be back to re-evaluate
but i expect by then it will be too late.

[Martin Ronne]

Tis been some time
I do surmise
Since my last rhyme
Your hearts did rise

This thread I made
Has since fallen
Its' ends are frayed
But now I'm call'n

Upon all ye men
And ladies alike
Bring back this thread
Let's mend this dike

[oVo]

I never noticed this thread
and had no idea it died.
So it's good you pryed it
out of bed.

A place to rhyme, feed the mind
and read various thoughts in line
I suppose.

Not really feeling it
at the mo
So I'll check back again
when I feel composed.

[MrPanzerGeneral]

Mend a dike ?
You want that role?
Try tounge then finger
In the hole.

[Martin Ronne]

Don't be so lewd my good friend
To say such things you do offend
Is rather crude wouldn't you say
Discomfort brings to speak that way

[oVo]

don't be such a prude
you big headed dude
I mean what's the point
if you can't rock this joint
with merriment and fun
let's git 'er dun

up the poopchute
or basking in the sun?
is just a state of mind
so forget the visual pun
and use lot's of butter

this prose sucks a big one
with it's literal clutter
so go with the flow
and stay out of the gutter
or I'll be forced to call you out
as an absolute nutter.

[e_i_pi]

ODE TO FLAME WARS

Flame wars indulges the recovered bastard,
underneath the understood marriage.

Will flame wars walk throughout permaban?

Flame wars perceives an impractical quantum
before a talking newsletter.

Can flame wars cable the mixed percentage?

Flame wars cooks permaban!
Permaban amazes flame wars beneath the likelihood!
Underneath permaban farms flame wars!
His dye spaces permaban on top of the hired arm!
Near a squeeze sickens the heavier flesh...

[Martin Ronne]

Dammit! No Haiku!

[Balsiefen]

Alas! The poor Haiku,
Rejected and denied it's right.
Banished from this noble thread,
With no-one to hear it's plight.

For with their depth and stanza,
Other forms live free.
Awhile the luckless Haiku,
Is banished for none to see.

Maybe it is the Haiku's size,
In which it should blame.
Maybe it is it's ease of composure,
Which brings it to this shame.

But who are we to judge;
To put one form 'fore another.
Yet still, the sonnet, the cinquain, the canzone,
Are placed before their brother.

But perhaps, when the time is right,
and when men are right of head.
Perhaps the poor little Haiku,
Will be accepted to this thread.

[oVo]

WTF dumbass?

No haiku stashes in here

Go climb stone mountain

[theusual1]

Poetry is fun for all ye dogs
running around on fire
sifting through their collection of pogs
whilst making jovial satire

I have no history of rhyme
but this thread makes one contemplate
that there is such a concept of time
which will run out at this rate

Never before have i gutted a hat
and never before have i died
never before have i cradled a rat
but on the horizon i ride

this poem to me makes no sense
perhaps i am insane
i still try and pay with tuppence
and my thought patterns are inane

time is not aiding me
for it is 1' o clock
i must submit this post before i flee
or else i will sit and rock

[Martin Ronne]

Alas! The poor Haiku,
Rejected and denied it's right.
Banished from this noble thread,
With no-one to hear it's plight.

For with their depth and stanza,
Other forms live free.
Awhile the luckless Haiku,
Is banished for none to see.

Maybe it is the Haiku's size,
In which it should blame.
Maybe it is it's ease of composure,
Which brings it to this shame.

But who are we to judge;
To put one form 'fore another.
Yet still, the sonnet, the cinquain, the canzone,
Are placed before their brother.

But perhaps, when the time is right,
and when men are right of head.
Perhaps the poor little Haiku,
Will be accepted to this thread.

Your poem has warmed my heart this day,
Your eloquence a golden ray,
Is seldom seen within this thread,
Such poise such grace but still I dread,
That your example goes unheeded,
For such grace is surly needed,
To counter weigh the grime and smut,
Which turns a thread purebred to mutt.

[MrPanzerGeneral]

There once was a boy from Chicago,
Who blew a rendition to Handel,
His....

sorry,sorry,sorry.....

There once was a man from Illinois
Whose sig, suggested he'd handled a ...

sorry,sorry,sorry....


No
pure
bred has
ever shown
kindred spirit to
a throne,lang may that
be,and time will tell
that faith I hold
In all, and
ye, as
well

[lt.pie]

Winona...Winona
me 'art dus pine for thee
Winona..Winona
howest long b'fore we be free

[Martin Ronne]

There once was a boy from Chicago,
Who blew a rendition to Handel,
His....

sorry,sorry,sorry.....

There once was a man from Illinois
Whose sig, suggested he'd handled a ...

sorry,sorry,sorry....


No
pure
bred has
ever shown
kindred spirit to
a throne,lang may that
be,and time will tell
that faith I hold
In all, and
ye, as
well

Beautiful, simply beautiful.

[theusual1]

No one lives like Martin Ronne
Flying high with his kite
his jesting helps me carry on
when the end is not in sight

Alas he could be more strong
but all of us have flaws
maybe once again i'm wrong
befuddled by the laws

Depart i shall into the dark
hidden in the grass
stalking those within the park
my life is but a farce

and once again i say goodbye
in hope i will come back
gouging into an apple pie
imported from iraq

[Wolffystyle]

I really like turtles.
I really like to race.
though it's tough to jump hurdles,
with a turtle on your face.

[oVo]

it's really hot out
eggs are frying in the street
then it pours ice cubes

[jiminski]

On streets so hot one could fry an egg
and melt some cheese on a sun-baked leg
milk and an onion, tomato, ham
cook em all on the wheel of a tram

Some salt, some pepper; add to taste
not too much or a feast you'll waste
and then just leave a while to set
Et Voila! a hot-street omelette!

[Martin Ronne]

it's really hot out
eggs are frying in the street
then it pours ice cubes

No one seems to quite grasp,
That any dolt can spew such crap,
I speak of course of Haiku,
Which beatniks recite to me and you.

[jiminski]

it's really hot out
eggs are frying in the street
then it pours ice cubes

No one seems to quite grasp,
That any dolt can spew such crap,
I speak of course of Haiku,
Which beatniks recite to me and you.

Please get in line and wait your turn
Your advances i'll surely spurn
if known before, i'd let you through
But i'd just answered the Haiku!