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johnnyrotten
- Posts: 2883
- Joined: Sat Mar 04, 2006 4:42 pm
- Gender: Male
- Location: Poole, England
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johnnyrotten
- Posts: 2883
- Joined: Sat Mar 04, 2006 4:42 pm
- Gender: Male
- Location: Poole, England
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johnnyrotten
- Posts: 2883
- Joined: Sat Mar 04, 2006 4:42 pm
- Gender: Male
- Location: Poole, England
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johnnyrotten
- Posts: 2883
- Joined: Sat Mar 04, 2006 4:42 pm
- Gender: Male
- Location: Poole, England
Now you're laughing at me... ah well that's all I'm good for. roflmfao at myself for being lame lol
Gn all... well to be honest for most of you I couldn't care less, but those who know I mean it know who they are
Last edited by johnnyrotten on Fri Jul 07, 2006 7:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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johnnyrotten
- Posts: 2883
- Joined: Sat Mar 04, 2006 4:42 pm
- Gender: Male
- Location: Poole, England
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johnnyrotten
- Posts: 2883
- Joined: Sat Mar 04, 2006 4:42 pm
- Gender: Male
- Location: Poole, England
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johnnyrotten
- Posts: 2883
- Joined: Sat Mar 04, 2006 4:42 pm
- Gender: Male
- Location: Poole, England
ROTFLMAO-
johnnyrotten
- Posts: 2883
- Joined: Sat Mar 04, 2006 4:42 pm
- Gender: Male
- Location: Poole, England
Rolling On the Floof [color=red]
Now, when you get right down to it, is there anything you'd rather roll on than the Floof? I think if there were a gym for the Care Bears, there wouldn't be treadmills and bowflex things, there'd just be long corridors of the Floof to roll on. For those of you not in the know, Floof is a cuddly material manufactured when the raw energy produced by lambs smiling at butterflies is mixed in a 2:1 ratio with baby gurgles.
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AndyDufresne
- Posts: 24935
- Joined: Fri Mar 03, 2006 8:22 pm
- Location: A Banana Palm in Zihuatanejo
- Contact:
Ah, this thread is falling down towards the bottom due to all the spam...so I must boost it back up.
And on a side note, 1000th post for me. And to make it special... **hm, searches for something** Ah, perhaps two of my favorite jokes...
Hehehe....
--Andy
And on a side note, 1000th post for me. And to make it special... **hm, searches for something** Ah, perhaps two of my favorite jokes...
Joke One wrote:A husband and wife were out enjoying a round of golf and about to tee off on the third hole which was lined by beautiful homes. The wife hit her shot and the ball began to slice. Her shot was headed directly at a very large picture window. Much to their surprise, the ball smashed through the window and shattered it into a million pieces. They felt compelled to see what damage was done and drove off to see what had happened.
When they peeked inside the home, they could find no one there. The husband called out and no one answered. Upon further investigation, they saw a gentleman sitting on the couch with a turban on his head.
The wife said, "Do you live here?"
"No, someone just hit a ball through the window, knocked over the vase you see there, and freed me from that little bottle. I am so grateful," he answered.
The wife said, "Are you a genie?"
"Oh, why yes, I am. In fact, I am so grateful, I will grant you two wishes, the third I will keep for myself," the genie replied.
The husband and wife agreed on 2 wishes...one was a scratch handicap for the husband, to which the wife readily agreed. The other was for an income of $1,000,000 per year forever.
The genie nodded and said, "Done!"
The genie now said, "For my wish I would like to have my way with your wife. I have not been with a woman for many years and, after all, I have made you a scratch golfer and millionaire."
The husband and wife agreed and after the genie and wife finished, the genie asked the wife, "How long have you been married?"
She replied, "3 years."
The genie then asked, "How old are you?"
To which she responded, "31 years old."
The genie responded, "And you still believe in fairy tales?"
Joke Two wrote: This farmer has about 200 hens, but no rooster and he wants chicks.
So, he goes down the road to the next farmer and asks if he has a rooster which he would sell. The other farmer says, “Yeah, I’ve got this great rooster named Chuck. He’ll service every chicken you got, no problem.”
Well, Chuck the rooster costs a lot of money, but the farmer decides he’d be worth it. So, he buys Chuck. The farmer takes Chuck home and sets him down in the barnyard, first, giving the rooster a pep talk, “Chuck, I want you to pace yourself now. You’ve got a lot of chickens to service here, and you cost me a lot of money. Consequently, I’ll need you to do a good job. So, take your time and have some fun,” the farmer said, with a chuckle.
Chuck seemed to understand, so the farmer points toward the hen house, and Chuck took off like a shot. - WHAM! - Chuck nails every hen in the hen house - - three or four times, and the farmer is really shocked. After that the farmer hears a commotion in the duck pen, sure enough, Chuck is in there. Later, the farmer sees Chuck after a flock of geese, down by the lake. Once again, - WHAM! - He gets all the geese.
By sunset he sees Chuck out in the fields chasing quail and pheasants. The farmer is distraught—worried that his expensive rooster won’t even last 24 hours. Sure enough, the farmer goes to bed and wakes up the next day to find Chuck dead as a doorknob—stone cold in the middle of the yard. Buzzards are circling overhead.
The farmer, saddened by the loss of such a colorful and expensive animal, shakes his head and says, “Oh Chuck, I told you to pace yourself. I tried to get you to slow down, now look what you’ve done to yourself.”
Chuck opens one eye, nods toward the buzzards circling in the sky and says, “Shhhh, they’re getting closer.....”
Hehehe....
--Andy
