Conquer Club

greetings bumpage denizens,

i come here to your ~bumpage zone~ to begin a new phase of my ccc career.

i come here to learn humble denizens. i come to learn of these things you discuss so knowingly, such as 'politics' and 'religion'.

i come here to suckle upon your multitudinous teats, that seep with the milk of human blindness.

i come here to find the juices for my future giggle juice truck empire.

let my 'contributions' be brutally reviewed, dismissed abjectly and placed with innumerable asterisks upon the truest lists of record that the ccc bumpagarchy has ratified.

now take me to your leader.

take me to the 'bumpage blitz'.

I am the leader. What do you seek here?

ONE OF US. ONE OF US.

rabbiton wrote:greetings bumpage denizens,

i come here to your ~bumpage zone~ to begin a new phase of my ccc career.

i come here to learn humble denizens. i come to learn of these things you discuss so knowingly, such as 'politics' and 'religion'.

i come here to suckle upon your multitudinous teats, that seep with the milk of human blindness.

i come here to find the juices for my future giggle juice truck empire.

let my 'contributions' be brutally reviewed, dismissed abjectly and placed with innumerable asterisks upon the truest lists of record that the ccc bumpagarchy has ratified.

now take me to your leader.

take me to the 'bumpage blitz'.

I regret that we cannot properly welcome you by textually arse raping you in the most sordid manner, but alas those days are gone. Flame Wars is no more and we are now a kinder, gentler, more family friendly forum. Yay! So help yourself to one of the multitudinous titties there and join in the fun. If you get bored start a thread on gay marriage. Cheers.


Honibaz

john9blue wrote:I am the leader. What do you seek here?

love.

i am concerned though that i may be the cruel subject of some leadership hoodwinkery, as you wave the hands of a leader yet nothing upon your vest speaks of your accomplishments. i see no talk medals, no bumpage rank, no wordplay tourney victories.

this is confusing and alien to me.

hence i discount it as stupid and irrelevant.

Beware all ye who enter, for ye shalt find naught but a mirror of yourselves.

b.k. barunt wrote:

rabbiton wrote:greetings bumpage denizens,

i come here to your ~bumpage zone~ to begin a new phase of my ccc career.

i come here to learn humble denizens. i come to learn of these things you discuss so knowingly, such as 'politics' and 'religion'.

i come here to suckle upon your multitudinous teats, that seep with the milk of human blindness.

i come here to find the juices for my future giggle juice truck empire.

let my 'contributions' be brutally reviewed, dismissed abjectly and placed with innumerable asterisks upon the truest lists of record that the ccc bumpagarchy has ratified.

now take me to your leader.

take me to the 'bumpage blitz'.

I regret that we cannot properly welcome you by textually arse raping you in the most sordid manner, but alas those days are gone. Flame Wars is no more and we are now a kinder, gentler, more family friendly forum. Yay! So help yourself to one of the multitudinous titties there and join in the fun. If you get bored start a thread on gay marriage. Cheers.


Honibaz

greeting crazy old man. i have placed you upon my list of crazy old men i'd like to have crazy old man sex with. maybe, as you say, when the attitudes loosen up a bit!

rabbiton wrote:

john9blue wrote:I am the leader. What do you seek here?

love.

i am concerned though that i may be the cruel subject of some leadership hoodwinkery, as you wave the hands of a leader yet nothing upon your vest speaks of your accomplishments. i see no talk medals, no bumpage rank, no wordplay tourney victories.

this is confusing and alien to me.

hence i discount it as stupid and irrelevant.

this forum is anarchy. each man is a leader of him and himself alone. hence i am the leader of the bumpage that exists within my frame of consciousness. as anarchy is to you, love is confusing and alien to us. we are legion. i hoodwink you not, and wish you all the best in your giggle juice endeavors.

Snorri1234 is our duly elected President.

the.killing.44 wrote:Snorri1234 is our duly elected President.

I never got that memo! And ,yes, john9blue is part of the elder council of Bumpage. I suggest you speak to him about our inner workings here.

HEY THERE, RABBITON!

*SAXI WAVES AT RABBITON!*

Ol' Saxi here! I'm the driver of The Club's WELCOME WAGON! Get on board, there's room for everyone!

We're working really hard to build an inclusive and caring community here in The Club and welcome any new members who would like to help celebrate our spirit of diversity and tolerance. Let's celebrate, gang!

Allow me to introduce myself. I'm kind of the board "dad." I'm here to make sure everyone has a good time but does it responsibly and in a way that accommodates the shared and different experiences we all have. We all have different experiences, gang, let's work together to accommodate them, 'k?

Just get on the call-box and give a big ol' "hibbidy ho, Saxi!" if you have any questions! Great to have you as part of the gang!

- Uncle Saxi!
Unofficial CC Happiness Ombudsman

Rabbiton, here's my standard intro to some of the Bumpage regular "characters" you need to watch out for (LOL! Don't worry, they won't bite!)!

Woodruff - board sourpuss ... he may seem like a grumpy-guss but he has a marshmallow center!

Big Ballin Stallin - board smart aleck ... what kind of shenanigans or sarcastic comeback is he gonna pull next? LOL - who knows!?

Serbia - board hottie; the Justin Bieber of CC - the girls go crazy for him

Johnny Rockets - board Canadian ... he talks us all to sleep at night with tales of lacrosse and lumberjacking

GabonX - board intellectual ... he keeps us all honest with our facts and figures

Player67832 - board great-great-grandmother ... she delights us with her tales of her great-great-grandkids, phonograph records and WWII -- sometimes she'll share one of her famous sugar cookie recipes - YUMMERS!!!!!

King Achilles - board cop ... he keeps us all in check and stops our cyber-parties from getting too wild - LOL! but he also is an awesome tennis player if you need some tips

saxitoxin wrote:Rabbiton, here's my standard intro to some of the Bumpage regular "characters" you need to watch out for (LOL! Don't worry, they won't bite!)!

Woodruff - board sourpuss ... he may seem like a grumpy-guss but he has a marshmallow center!

Big Ballin Stallin - board smart aleck ... what kind of shenanigans or sarcastic comeback is he gonna pull next? LOL - who knows!?

Serbia - board hottie; the Justin Bieber of CC - the girls go crazy for him

Johnny Rockets - board Canadian ... he talks us all to sleep at night with tales of lacrosse and lumberjacking

this one really opened my eyes! canadians play lacrosse??? i could have sworn it was all lumberjacking up there! wow, we've got to really keep a close eye on them the rate they're going....

saxitoxin wrote:GabonX - board intellectual ... he keeps us all honest with our facts and figures

Player67832 - board great-great-grandmother ... she delights us with her tales of her great-great-grandkids, phonograph records and WWII -- sometimes she'll share one of her famous sugar cookie recipes - YUMMERS!!!!!

is she insidiously dull in every respect? because i find that it's hard to make a good sugar cookie if you have any semblance of liveliness to you.

saxitoxin wrote:King Achilles - board cop ... he keeps us all in check and stops our cyber-parties from getting too wild - LOL! but he also is an awesome tennis player if you need some tips

well, as it turns out i really do need some help with my reverse under-the-legs cross court top-spin lob! it keeps going long and i just can't figure it out! did someone change the physics of wind resistance?

and saxers, while you got me on your knee....

what about this self-proclaimed leader that's been strutting about here and there, making claims of this and that? i mean, i see *you* have a leaderly vest on at least, this johnpink fellow was virtually naked.

and this other... president snore? is that a symbolic thing? like some sort of minority token we put up to dangle about in front of the ccc masses? where's the real power at?

this one really opened my eyes! canadians play lacrosse??? i could have sworn it was all lumberjacking up there! wow, we've got to really keep a close eye on them the rate they're going....

A little known fact outside of the Northern 10 ... LAX is the national sport of Canada, not hockey.

is she insidiously dull in every respect? because i find that it's hard to make a good sugar cookie if you have any semblance of liveliness to you.

I keep setting them up and you keep striking them home, Rabbit, and we'll get along famously!

what about this self-proclaimed leader that's been strutting about here and there, making claims of this and that? i mean, i see *you* have a leaderly vest on at least, this johnpink fellow was virtually naked.

and this other... president snore? is that a symbolic thing? like some sort of minority token we put up to dangle about in front of the ccc masses? where's the real power at?

John is one of Uncle Saxi's little munchkins, running about naked and urinating on all the furniture. He's a lively little devil but we all love him!

Snoori may or may not be the President, it's difficult to tell as no one can understand a word he says with his strange and exotic Coal English accent.

saxitoxin wrote:

this one really opened my eyes! canadians play lacrosse??? i could have sworn it was all lumberjacking up there! wow, we've got to really keep a close eye on them the rate they're going....

A little known fact outside of the Northern 10 ... LAX is the national sport of Canada, not hockey.

is she insidiously dull in every respect? because i find that it's hard to make a good sugar cookie if you have any semblance of liveliness to you.

I keep setting them up and you keep striking them home, Rabbit, and we'll get along famously!

what about this self-proclaimed leader that's been strutting about here and there, making claims of this and that? i mean, i see *you* have a leaderly vest on at least, this johnpink fellow was virtually naked.

and this other... president snore? is that a symbolic thing? like some sort of minority token we put up to dangle about in front of the ccc masses? where's the real power at?

John is one of Uncle Saxi's little munchkins, running about naked and urinating on all the furniture. He's a lively little devil but we all love him!

Snoori may or may not be the President, it's difficult to tell as no one can understand a word he says with his strange and exotic Coal English accent.

ok, well i hope to be fitting right in here soon. feeling a little stiff and uncomfortable for nowz ~~ so many challenging new concepts to absorb! obama may not be muslim, wot??? ~~ but the helping hand has been a handful of help, even though i can see that same hand edging me ever closer to one of those shiny gold bumpage coffins...

and, er... anyway, maybe we can get some chat about fashion going as i too am i style-buff, ever since i starting tweeting about it incessantly. there's no such thing as a bad color people!

well, i'm off to reply to a random post now!

rabbiton wrote:well, i'm off to reply to a random post now!

Good luck, and may God be with you.

InkL0sed wrote:

rabbiton wrote:well, i'm off to reply to a random post now!

Good luck, and may God be with you.

phew, i think i did ok. although, as a result, i'm not sure that god will be with me anymore.

rabbiton wrote:hence i discount it as stupid and irrelevant.

Sometimes stoopid, always irrelevant, occassionally fun.

Welcome to Bumpage.

Part 1:

viewtopic.php?f=6&t=96884&p=2212802&hilit=general#p2212802

Part 2:

viewtopic.php?f=6&t=102291&p=2317682#p2317682


I've decided to limit the term to 1 year, because Snoori sucks so much as a president.

Oh, you poor bastards. Rabbit is gonna eat you all for breakfast.

saxitoxin wrote:GabonX - board intellectual ... he keeps us all honest with our facts and figures

This made my brain freeze.

Incandenza wrote:Oh, you poor bastards. Rabbit is gonna eat you all for breakfast.

now now inca, don't be like that. you know i don't eat breakfast!

although i will admit, i did make just a small note of one of them that supposedly tastes like a marshmallow... just i case i get a bit hungry later.

but anyways, i'm just a traveler in these parts for now... passing through, trying to be mindful of the locals, and soaking in all the weird and wonderful customs that they've built up that they think are so darn special, no doubt! maybe i will settle in and take some of the natives as my brides, or maybe i will shuffle off into the bumpage sunset.

exciting to see someone from the old world floating around this rather soiled outpost on the ccc globe.

<flips eggs 'n bacon in frying pan>

This is your brain on drugs . . .


Honibaz

Bumpage questionaire

1. Do you believe in God
2. Do you believe in Global Warming
3. Do you believe in Evolution
4. Do you believe in Government regulations
5. Do you believe in Capital Punishment
6. Do you believe in war
7. Do you believe in wearing white after memorial day
8. Do you believe in an earth that is only 6000 years old
9. Do you believe in a conspiracy to blow up the twin towers by members of the US govt. (you may not want to answer this)
10. Do you believe in Taxes to support under-privileged citizens
11. Do you believe in blocking the borders and deporting all illegal citizens
12. Do you believe in eating animals
13. Do you believe in eating fish
14. Do you believe in using pot
15. Do you believe in using alcohol
16. Do you believe in using soap
17. Do you believe in using gasoline engines
18. Do you believe in freeloaders using taxes to support themselves
19. Do you believe in Fox News as the voice for the new messiah
20. Do you believe in Fox News as the voice of the anti-christ

Answering these should adequately let every last person in bumpage know where you stand on nearly every issue. You will instantly be hated, and you will instantly be loved. You will instantly be applauded and instantly stoned for your beliefs.

You will as BK stated, be treated with some human decency now at the same time, but dont take that for granted.

saxitoxin wrote:
Johnny Rockets - board Canadian ... he talks us all to sleep at night with tales of lacrosse and lumberjacking

Well I could keep you up all night with my tales of pro-eugenics and my idea for voluntary sterilizing bursary's for the poor......


But that's another post, eh?


Hi Rabbit! Bet you taste like chicken!

Welcome to the asylum. You'll get along with Saxi as long as you don't fact check his posts......and leave your drink alone with him when you go to the bathroom....




Johnny Rockets