Conquer Club

This shall be a head to head battle deciding who we should send to the moon. As in previous thread; its cheap enough that we can send two lovely CC posters (along with the actual non-retarded scientists) to Mars to set up a colony and represent humanity!

This will be done much like any head to head tourny: except it will be ongoing until we run out of idiots going "Can I enter too!!!!"

First round wil be as per previous thread: Pimpdave vs Funky. I will take all suggestions and pair possible candidates (with some use of creative seeding as required for my entertainment)

Let the voting begin!!!

Round One!

Pimpdave vs. Funkyterrance: Winner: PIMPDAVE! (11-4)
Woodruff vs. NoSurvivors: Winner: WOODRUFF! (10-5)
TheGreekDog vs. TA1LGUNN3R: Winner: TA1LGUNN3R! (10-9)
Saxitoxin vs. Maugena: Winner: Saxitoxin! (7-6)
patches70 vs. Symmetry: Winner: Symmetry! (6-5)
Bigballinstalin vs. daddy1gringo: Winner: Bigballinstalin! (10-5)
john9blue vs. 2dimes: Winner: 2dimes! (7-5)
AndyDufresne vs. ArmyOfGod: Winner: ArmyOfGod! (15-5)
jonesthecurl vs. kentington: Winner: jonesthecurl! (10-7)
rdsrds2120 vs. betiko: Winner: rdsrds2120! (8-4)
Serbia vs. new guy1: Winner: Serbia! (8-6)
Timminz vs. Ray Rider: Winner: Timminz! (7-6)
Manbungalow vs. Megaprophet: Winner: Manbungalow! (8-2)
DoomYoshi vs. maxfaraday: Winner: maxfaraday! (8-4)
Rishaed vs. Lootifer: Pending

In the pool of primordial scum soup in which to draw out the ideal candidates for sending to Mars (posting in this thread counts as signing up):
???

Next up after Pimpdave vs. Funkterrance shall be Woodruff vs. NoSurvivors (as per other thread).

"Can I enter too?" FOS pimpdave.. VOTE FT

-Glorious Leader

I'm excited for this, but we need to do it right.

First, we need to have responsibilities:

Going to Mars:

Captain
Engineer
Science Advisor
Communications
Weapons
Mechanic
Food Preparer
Food Grower and Harvester
Medic
Expendable "Red Shirt"
Massuese
Token Child #1
Token Child #2
Teacher/Educator (for children)
Counsellor
Security
Pilot
Co-Pilot
Cameraman... er, person
Wisecracking Bad Ass

Staying on Earth:
CEO
CFO
Producer of Television Show

thegreekdog wrote:I'm excited for this, but we need to do it right.

First, we need to have responsibilities:

Captain
Engineer
Science Advisor
Communications
Weapons
Mechanic
Food Preparer
Medic
Expendable "Red Shirt"

Etc.

I would like to be considered for masseuse. I'm not sure I'll be able to beat the Lootifer-BBS Deep Tissue duo, but I'd like to at least be considered. Thank you.

saxitoxin wrote:

thegreekdog wrote:I'm excited for this, but we need to do it right.

First, we need to have responsibilities:

Captain
Engineer
Science Advisor
Communications
Weapons
Mechanic
Food Preparer
Medic
Expendable "Red Shirt"

Etc.

I would like to be considered for masseuse. I'm not sure I'll be able to beat the Lootifer-BBS Deep Tissue duo, but I'd like to at least be considered. Thank you.

Don't worry, Señor Saxi. Mars' gravitational surface pull is just over a third of Earth's, and the Lootifer-BBS Deep Tissue duo massage is just too strong at that level. Yours will be ideal.

-TG

thegreekdog wrote:I'm excited for this, but we need to do it right.

First, we need to have responsibilities:

Captain
Engineer
Science Advisor
Communications
Weapons
Mechanic
Food Preparer
Medic
Expendable "Red Shirt"
Massuese
Token Child #1
Token Child #2
Teacher/Educator (for children)
Counsellor
Security
Pilot
Co-Pilot

Etc.

Can I be the guy that gets all the money and faces no lawsuits?

thegreekdog wrote:I'm excited for this, but we need to do it right.

First, we need to have responsibilities:

Captain
Engineer
Science Advisor
Communications
Weapons
Mechanic
Food Preparer
Medic
Expendable "Red Shirt"
Massuese
Token Child #1
Token Child #2
Teacher/Educator (for children)
Counsellor
Security
Pilot
Co-Pilot

Etc.

Hrmm, whats better a head to head competition culminating in a grand final of epic proportions or a saxi-style "vote for X position"?

I suggest the former since we always do the latter.

gunner wrote:Don't worry, Señor Saxi. Mars' gravitational surface pull is just over a third of Earth's, and the Lootifer-BBS Deep Tissue duo massage is just too strong at that level. Yours will be ideal.

Lootifer wrote:head to head competition culminating in a grand final of epic proportions or a saxi-style

So, missionary position or saxi style? Not partial, myself.

I'll be the weapons guy or the expendable red shirt.
You always need an expendable red shirt... and weapons.
I mean hey, you never know - I might not actually die.

thegreekdog wrote:I'm excited for this, but we need to do it right.

First, we need to have responsibilities:

Going to Mars:

Captain
Engineer
Science Advisor
Communications
Weapons
Mechanic
Food Preparer
Medic
Expendable "Red Shirt"
Massuese
Token Child #1
Token Child #2
Teacher/Educator (for children)
Counsellor
Security
Pilot
Co-Pilot
Cameraman... er, person

Staying on Earth:
CEO
CFO
Producer of Television Show

What all does food preparer cover? Growing the food, harvesting, cooking, and disposal?

saxitoxin wrote:

gunner wrote:Don't worry, Señor Saxi. Mars' gravitational surface pull is just over a third of Earth's, and the Lootifer-BBS Deep Tissue duo massage is just too strong at that level. Yours will be ideal.

Lootifer wrote:head to head competition culminating in a grand final of epic proportions or a saxi-style

So, missionary position or saxi style? Not partial, myself.

If you always go saxi-style; then sometimes the ole missionary is a bit of fun!

So it's going to be my job to populate a whole planet eh? lllllladies.

pimpdave isn't a regular. He doesn't even visit CC anymore. Might as well throw Hologram up there.

FunkyTerrance is about as funny as a poop-flavored lollipop, so pimpdaddycane.

Lootifer wrote:This shall be a head to head battle deciding who we should send to the moon.

guys, it's a trap! mars is a lie.

p.s. i would like to be nominated for the position of sarcastic, wise-cracking pessimist. i think i could bring a lot to the team.

john9blue wrote:

Lootifer wrote:This shall be a head to head battle deciding who we should send to the moon.

guys, it's a trap! mars is a lie.

p.s. i would like to be nominated for the position of sarcastic, wise-cracking pessimist. i think i could bring a lot to the team.

Yeah, a lot of grief.

By a huge margin Pimpdave has progressed into the next round!!!

Next up Woodruff vs NoSurvivors!!

The image of Woodruff being shot into space against his will has a much higher comedic effect so I'm going with that option

Funkyterrance wrote:The image of Woodruff being shot into space against his will has a much higher comedic effect so I'm going with that option

Against my will? Have you not been paying attention? My wife and I have actually signed up for the mission for real.

Woodruff wrote:

Funkyterrance wrote:The image of Woodruff being shot into space against his will has a much higher comedic effect so I'm going with that option

Against my will? Have you not been paying attention? My wife and I have actually signed up for the mission for real.

Yeah, I guess I haven't been paying attention. I think I automatically envisioned against your will because it seemed funnier to me.

Me for cook. Also I can starve or poison anyone I don't like.

Woodruff wrote:

Funkyterrance wrote:The image of Woodruff being shot into space against his will has a much higher comedic effect so I'm going with that option

Against my will? Have you not been paying attention? My wife and I have actually signed up for the mission for real.

Lucky :[ I am too young lol. However, Glorious Leader shall prevail and go to mars (thanks to CC).

-Glorious Leader

NoSurvivors wrote:

Woodruff wrote:

Funkyterrance wrote:The image of Woodruff being shot into space against his will has a much higher comedic effect so I'm going with that option

Against my will? Have you not been paying attention? My wife and I have actually signed up for the mission for real.

Lucky :[ I am too young lol. However, Glorious Leader shall prevail and go to mars (thanks to CC).

Applied. Not yet selected. I have relevant skills, but my age is also a bit of a hindrance (I'm no spring chicken!). As are my kidney stones.

The conquer club mission doesn't have a budget for preflight medical exams. Also your chance of survival is probably like 1% or less so it's all up to the voting. It's probably not true but I read Cocacola helps get rid of kidney stones maybe the budget will allow a couple of cases for the trip. Careful you don't blow yourself up with it like a seagull that ate a bread ball filled with draino.