Reasons Why Texas Should Secede (help me make a list)

[pimpdave]

1. Texas sucks
2. shut up Texas

[Neoteny]

3. Seriously.

[KoolBak]

Did you forget your meds today pimparoonie?

[pimpdave]

Is making fun of Texas against the rules now?

I thought it was included in the Bill of Rights, under subsection 69 of page 42 of amendment THX 1138 that "Henceforth if Texas doth talketh about how great itself thou art, all the rest of thine duly appointed citizens shall have the right to always point out when Texas is stupid and should shut up, which is all the time, and the federal govmint shall never henceforth attempt to abolish or block such valiant pursuits, henceforth."

[MeDeFe]

4. Their necks are red from the sunburn.

[Timminz]

5. Two words. King George

[MeDeFe]

Those are four words.

[Timminz]

Those are four words.

and a number

[pimpdave]

6. They don't even have any oil anymore, and even if they do it's probably more expensive than the stuff from across the world.

7. Buffalo is much lower impact and more healthy than beef, and it's easy to raise anywhere in the nation.

[pimpdave]

8. Austin really isn't all that. I mean, I guess it's good given the comparison, that being THE REST OF TEXAS. But it's still just lame.

[Timminz]

9. Why is it that beef and oil tend to go together? They pull that shit in Alberta too.

10. That wasn't really a reason for Texas to secede, but what're you gonna do about it?

[hecter]

11. ???
12. PROFIT!!

[MeDeFe]

11. A buffer nation between the USA and Mexico is clearly necessary to keep out the illegal immigrants heading south.

[mpjh]

13. It is not New Mexico.

[bedub1]

43. If you cut Alaska in half, Texas would no longer be the 2nd largest state, it would be the 3rd.

[jbrettlip]

Sorry, jealousy does not suit you.

[pimpdave]

44. People from Texas think everyone is jealous of them.

[MeDeFe]

42. Texans are secretly jealous of everybody else.

[jonesthecurl]

96. Because they can't spell "succeed".

[thegreekdog]

15. The Dallas Cowboys.
16. Repeat 15.
17. Solves "border problem"
18. People will stop saying "Don't mess with Texas."
19. Repeat 15.

[pimpdave]

20. The Dallas Cowboys are actually the newest member of the Axis of Evil, ever since Iraq took a hiatus from the group for its current solo project, Bankrupting Quagmire.

[Borderdawg]

6. They don't even have any oil anymore, and even if they do it's probably more expensive than the stuff from across the world.

7. Buffalo is much lower impact and more healthy than beef, and it's easy to raise anywhere in the nation.

My turn! More reasons for Texas to secede:

Texas has around 25% of the USAs remaining oil reserves (approx. 129 billion barrels) Texas produces(07 stats) around 1 million barrels a day. If we secede, we don't have to share with limpdave and his ilk!.

Texas is the #1 refining state, some 4.5 million barrels per day, more than 25% of the nations total. We could charge the shit out of wimpdave and his buddies to refine their oil.

We would no longer have an illegal immigration problem. We would provide them with economical transportation to the new border and let them sneak into simpdaves territory! (Hell, we could provide them with maps!!)

And the buffalo thing just cracks my ass up! It proves that gimpdave is not the sharpest knife in the kitchen! It is true that they are tough animals and can be raised in most areas of the country, but they are also extremely difficult to confine. If a buffalo wants to go, ain't no wire or wood fence gonna slow him down!!

But you just keep throwing your 2 cents out there, oh flaccid one, I can use the laughs!!

[xelabale]

27.

6. They don't even have any oil anymore, and even if they do it's probably more expensive than the stuff from across the world.

7. Buffalo is much lower impact and more healthy than beef, and it's easy to raise anywhere in the nation.

My turn! More reasons for Texas to secede:

Texas has around 25% of the USAs remaining oil reserves (approx. 129 billion barrels) Texas produces(07 stats) around 1 million barrels a day. If we secede, we don't have to share with limpdave and his ilk!.

Texas is the #1 refining state, some 4.5 million barrels per day, more than 25% of the nations total. We could charge the shit out of wimpdave and his buddies to refine their oil.

We would no longer have an illegal immigration problem. We would provide them with economical transportation to the new border and let them sneak into simpdaves territory! (Hell, we could provide them with maps!!)

And the buffalo thing just cracks my ass up! It proves that gimpdave is not the sharpest knife in the kitchen! It is true that they are tough animals and can be raised in most areas of the country, but they are also extremely difficult to confine. If a buffalo wants to go, ain't no wire or wood fence gonna slow him down!!

But you just keep throwing your 2 cents out there, oh flaccid one, I can use the laughs!!

[pimpdave]

Is there a crippling shortage of steel in Texas or something? Maybe it's cause I live in the north east, but steel is a really easy construction material to get in the USA, it seems. Steel is everywhere.

Buffalo are just as challenging to raise as cattle. I know people who do it.

I refer you back to reason #2 why you should secede:

2. shut up Texas

[Borderdawg]

Is there a crippling shortage of steel in Texas or something? Maybe it's cause I live in the north east, but steel is a really easy construction material to get in the USA, it seems. Steel is everywhere.

Buffalo are just as challenging to raise as cattle. I know people who do it.

I refer you back to reason #2 why you should secede:

2. shut up Texas

Damn, boy, you really are dumber than a f*cking stump, aren't you? At a minimum of 5 acres per head, do you really think steel fence would be economically feasible? Try again, shrimpdave!